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Leverage Main | When Darkness Falls

1x03 The Wedding Job

[Brava Cusina]

Joe: Thanks I'll see you.

Teresa: Why does he have to do his business here? What? Doesn't he have a parking lot he can go to?

Anatoli: How much is it for me?

Moscone: You're cut is 35%. That's what we agreed to.

Ray: I'm about to bring his check.

Teresa: Like he's gonna pay. Ray, I don't like leaving you alone with this guy.

Ray: I'll be fine. I'll see you at home.

(Ray kisses her cheek and she leaves)

Moscone: I'm glad we had this little sit-down, because I feel I understand your position now.

(Moscone pulls gun and shoots Anatoli, then wipes fingerprints from the gun)

Ray: What did you do?!

Moscone: Not me. You.

Ray: No! What?! No!

(sirens ring out)

Moscone: Look, he came at you. It's self-defense. This guy's a killer. You're a citizen. It's open-And-Shut.

(pounding on the door)

Police: Police! Police! Open that door!

Ray: Nick, I can't risk it! I got a wife and a little girl!

Moscone: You paid for this place with my money! You owe me! Now... (forces gun into Ray’s hand) we're square. And we'll take care of your family, okay?

Police: Open up or we’re coming in!

Moscone: This isn't for negotiation, Ray. (leaves)

Police: Open up now!

[Leverage Offices]

Teresa: That was five years ago. Ray still has 10 more years left on his sentence.

Sophie: It's all right, Teresa. Can I get you anything?

(standing outside conference room, Nate sees Sophie talking with the client)

Nate: What's going on?

Hardison: Client meeting.

Nate: I can see that. I thought I pick the clients. Who is that crying?

Hardison: Teresa Palermo. Her husband owed money to the mob, and he took the fall for a murder the boss committed. She's a friend of Sophie’s.

Nate: I see. Stick around, Hardison. We're gonna have a meeting later about how things work around here.

Hardison: This is probably a bad time to talk about Christmas, huh?

(they enter the conference room)

Sophie: Hey, Nate, this is my friend -

Nate: Ms. Palermo. Yes. Hardison brought me up to speed. Go on. (sits down) Please, continue.

Teresa: Well, after it happened, I told my husband to tell the truth. You know, we'd go in the program, start over. He said it was better like this, that we'd have a cushion. What a joke. Moscone never gave us a dime. We lost the restaurant, our house. Then a couple weeks ago, I saw this in our local paper. Moscone has a big wedding planned for his daughter - his princess - While my daughter only knows her father from the other side of bulletproof glass. It's not right.

Nate: No. No, it's-it's not right. But, you know, uh, we're not detectives. And if you want to prove your husband's innocence, there are plenty of agencies I could recommend.

Teresa: Don't you think I tried that? This is Nicky Moscone we're talking about. They all laughed.

Sophie: Yeah, I think, um, what Nate is-is trying to say is--Is what exactly is it that you want from us?

Sophie: The note on the restaurant, $765,000. I want what Moscone promised us, No more, no less. If I could get the restaurant back, it would give my husband something to look forward to. Otherwise--

Nate: Yeah. Well, we will discuss it and get back to you.

Teresa: I understand. Thank you. Where did my daughter go?

Hardison:I think she was with Parker.

(Parker is teaching the little girl how to pick locks)

Parker: Go!

(they both begin to work on the locks, after a few seconds, the girl gets hers open)

Parker: 6 seconds! Give it up! Good job.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Sophie: They have nowhere else to turn.

Nate: Yeah, well, you know, her husband should have thought of that before he got in bed with Nicky Moscone. It's mob stuff. It's not the kind of case we take.

Sophie: I disagree.

Nate: Well, if you disagree and you feel strongly about it, why don't you write her a check?

Sophie: Maybe I will, if it comes to that. Oh, wow. I really thought you'd get this, Nate. Teresa doesn't want to just get paid. She wants the man who destroyed her family to pay. You know, if it doesn't come from him, if he's not hurt by it in some way, then there's-there's no justice.

Hardison: Just take the mob out of it.

Nate: What? Take the mob out of it?

Hardison: Hear me out. Isn't this just a breach of contract?

Eliot: These guys had a deal, right? And your boy, Ray, he lived up to his end, but Moscone didn't. And for that, there's not a court of law in this world this lady can go to.

Parker: Which is exactly the kind of case we take.

Nate: Oh, come on. I don't-- Why Teresa?

Sophie: I don't know. Well, her man's gone to jail for 15 years, and she's waiting for him. For 15 years. Do you have any idea how hard it is, to wait for someone?

Nate: Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay, let’s go rob Nicky Moscone, a guy who kills people and lives in our city. Yeah, let's do that.


Nate: Typical mob McMansion. They've got the hideous gates, infinity pool, statues everywhere. Ah, how are we gonna handle surveillance?

Hardison: We can't. That thing's a fortress, man. I clocked four armed guards, a Tikva security system. That thing's Israeli-Made. It's used to protect their military bases. It's unhackable. Oh, and then there's the FBI parked around the corner.

Parker:FBI? Where? (looking through camera lens)

Hardison: You see that crappy van that says "plumber"?

Sophie: Did you say "plumber"? That's their cover? Oh, that is so cute. It's like it's 1978 all over again.

Eliot: Listen, you can't just walk into a place like that blind.

Nate:Oh, yeah, that's true. If we can't get our surveillance the usual way, We'll just have to, you know, borrow somebody else's.

[FBI Van]

(Hardison and Parker knock on the back of the van)

Taggert: Yes?

Hardison: Relax. We're with the bureau. Howdy. Special Agent Thomas. This is special agent Hagen. She's fresh out of Quantico. I'm showing her all the hot spots, you know. Uh-Huh. Oh, by the way, We got your memo. We're moving it up the chain.

Taggert: What? Hey. G-great. Thanks. Well, come on in. Sorry about the heat, and the smell.


Sophie: Huh. How did he know that?

Nate: Oh, the field guys are always sending memos. They just need validation.

[FBI Van]

McSweeten: This is really the front line in the war on terror, the terror of organized crime.

Parker: Wow, is this vest lining Kevlar?

McSweeten: Uh... no. It-it's rayon. Yeah, it breathes better than Kevlar. But I have it in my locker.

(Parker swipes McSweeten’s badge and passes it to Hardison)

Taggert: I wish I could give you a sample, but the bug we planted in Moscone's barbecue is pretty spotty.

Hardison: The bug?

Taggert: Yes, sir.

Hardison: Singular?

Taggert: Absolutely.

Hardison: Good-good work. Good work. You know what? I'm kind of into this. May I?

Taggert: Please.

(Hardison sits down at the computer)

McSweeten: ...do any kind of investigations.

Parker: Do you have any snacks?

McSweeten: Uh, yeah. I've got a-a meat stick, if you want it. But, um... well, it's half-eaten.

Hardison: Oh, okay, I see what the problem is here. You're bumping into baby-monitor frequency.

Taggert: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought I heard some crying.

(Hardison plugs in a flash drive)

Hardison: See if that clears it up.

Taggert: Yeah. Great.

Parker: I saw some rubber gloves. What do you do with those?

McSweeten: Oh, actually, we've just been kind of blowing them up and playing volleyball. But, uh, yeah, if we need to do any kind of investigation…

(Hardison swipes McSweeten’s card and drops it on the floor)

Taggert: All right. All right. Thanks.

Hardison: Uh, yeah.


Eliot: I got it! Right there.

(Eliot uses PhotoShop to make an FBI badge with his picture on it)

Nate: Oh, yeah.

[FBI Van]

(everyone piles out of the van. As Parker gets out, she picks up McSweeten’s badge and pins it back on his vest)

Parker: Thanks for the tour.

McSweeten: Come back anytime.

Hardison: All right, stay strong, brother.

Taggert: Will.

Hardison: The shake-up is coming.

Taggert: Long overdue. You, I-I’ll watch for you.

Hardison: I'm the coffee. You're the cream.

McSweeten: She smells like jasmine.

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot walks down a hallway in a suit with the badge he made)

Eliot: I’m in, guide me.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Okay, I found the server with the Moscone surveillance files, room 718.

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot looks around and finds room 718, entering)

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: All you have to do is rip them on my flash drive and run.

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot closes the door)

Eliot: I don't have to type anything, right?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: No, just plug it in. It does the rest.

Eliot: All right, 'cause you know I just learned the Photoshop thing you told me.

Hardison: I-I know. Baby steps.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: So I just plug it in.

(Eliot forces open a set of cabinet doors and they open, revealing stacks of cassette tapes. He looks at the flash drive in his hand)

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Now, audio files, they can take a little while to run, but, uh, the servers are pretty loud, so that should give you some cover.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: It's tapes.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Wha-hold, wait. Did y-you just say "tapes"?

Eliot: I just said "tapes"!

Hardison: Cassette tapes?

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot picks up a cassette case and taps it with the flash drive)

Eliot: Your little thing, it's not gonna work.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: But at least you ain't got to type nothing.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: Hardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a boxful of surveillance tapes, huh?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Punch somebody.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: Oh, I’m gonna punch somebody.

[Leverage Headquarters]

(Hardison types on the computer, triggering a fire alarm)

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot begins frantically grabbing tapes and putting them in a box)

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: You're welcome. Was that so hard?

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: Why couldn't you have just done that off the bat?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: How was it?

Hardison: You try listening to 74-Straight hours of surveillance of the mob... on a walkman.

Nate: Okay, what did you learn?

Hardison: Well, first of all, uh, how great "Jersey Boys" is they’re fantastic. Really, man, they are--

Nate: No, what did you learn about where Moscone keeps his money?

Hardison (hits remote): He keeps it in offshore accounts under his wife's name, Heather, to protect it from the feds.

Nate: Can you break the codes?

Hardison: The codes? The codes to the Cayman Bank and Trust, where the Cali cartel and the African dictators keep all their dirty money? The ones that Moscone changes anytime he damn well pleases? Like, it's-c-come on. Dude, are you kidding me?

Nate: You know, you're-you're very negative lately.

Eliot: Yeah.

Nate: And the sass, it doesn't-doesn't help. Where-where does Moscone keep the liquid assets?

Hardison: Okay, I took a number of the daily deliveries his capos make to the house, and I cross-referenced them with his declared income and his spending habits. I'd say he's got at least $2 million stashed right here.

Nate: So we're back to the beginning. Um, all we need is a - Is a way in, right?

Eliot: This guy. I could hit one of the bagmen before they get in. Roll the dice on a big payout.

Parker: Or we could tunnel from the neighbors.

Nate: What's going on here? What's -

Hardison: Oh, uh, he's just putting up a tent for Moscone’s daughter's wedding. It's happening this weekend. There's a lots of conversations between him and the wife about that.

Sophie: Let's hear one.

(Hardison plays audio)

Heather: I am overwhelmed! I need help!

Moscone: Overwhelmed?! You're the one who wanted this huge fiasco!

Heather: No, no. No. For your daughter.

Moscone: I told you, I don't want people in my house.

Heahter: Yeah, unless it's your skank yoga instructor, by the way. You can’t even touch your toes.

Sophie: It's a bit like an opera, isn't it?

Eliot: You mean 'cause I want to run away?

Nate: Well, now, if that isn't an invitation, I don't know what is.

Heather: What are you doin’? Don't walk away from me.

[Moscone Mansion]

Heather: I don't see what the problem is.

Maria: Well, it says, "the bride and groom release a dozen white doves."

Heather: Yeah?

Maria: Oh, it just seems like a little bit much, don't you think?

Heather: It's your wedding, Maria. It's a memory. Okay? A precious, precious memory.

(doorbell rings, Heather answers it.

Sophie: Mrs. Moscone? Ruby Holden, Peerless events. Your wedding planner.

Heather: What? I didn't hire a wedding plan-

Sophie: Oh, your husband hired me. He didn't tell you? He said something about you being... overwhelmed.

Heather: Oh, well, uh, Ms., uh...

Sophie: You can call me Ruby.

Heather: Ruby, that's cute. How shall I put this? Uh, everyone I’ve hired for this wedding - the caterer, the florist, the band - is a frigging moron. But I’m gonna have to live with it because the wedding is two days away, and, frankly, I don't see how you can come in and magically fix everything. What are you, Mary Poppins?

Sophie: Well, I do have a little help.

(Sophie turns to show the rest of the team standing behind her)

[Dining Room]

Nate: Sophie. Where are we at?

Sophie: Huh? I don't know, Nate. I think you need to ask yourself that question. You called me, remember? And now we're working together every day. I don't know what you want. And to ask me that dressed like a vicar? You're a very strange man.

Nate: No, no, no. I meant where are we at with finding the money?

Sophie: Oh. Well, Parker says there are no wall safes upstairs, and I’m still looking.

Nate: Okay, well, keep me posted every 15 minutes. I don't want to miss anything.


Nate: How are we doing? How's the search?

Eliot (chopping vegetables): I haven't started yet.

Nate: Okay, you know, I haven't gotten one answer I was looking for today. What is it that you're doing? What's going on?

Eliot: I'm cutting onion, deveining shrimp, uh, pan-searing some scallops. I've got 200 people I got to feed, all right? Back off.

Nate: Okay, okay. Hmm.

Eliot: What, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?

Nate: No, well, yeah.

Eliot (demonstrating): Look, hold a knife like this, cuts through an onion. Hold a knife like this, cuts through, like, eight yakuza in 4 seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything is in context.

Heather (enters): Okay, hors d'oeuvres.

Eliot: Yes, ma'am. Stuffed mushrooms, pine nuts, kiss of basil, some sun-dried tomatoes, and the finishing touch, lemon juice. (gives her bite)

Heather (spits it out): Does this look like a food court? Does it? I want high-End food - High-End! What are you— (walks out)

(Eliot starts to go after her with the knife, Nate stops him)

Eliot: I know.

Nate: Hey. Just-just find the money. That's-that’s why we're here, to find the money.

[FBI Van]

McSweeten: I saw a bunch of people go in the house. You get anything?

Taggert: No, damn sprinkler's on. Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house.

McSweeten: Yeah.

[Dining Room]

(Hardison carrying flowers plants a bug)

[Upper Hall]

(Hardison plants another bug)


Maria: They're so far from where I’m sitting.

Heather: I just think your college friends would prefer to sit somewhere in the back.

Sophie (comes in): Heather? Was that you screaming my name?

Heather: Oh, yes, yes. We're looking at the dresses for the bridal party, and I wanted your opinion.

Sophie (to bridesmaid): You look lovely.

Cindy: You don't think it makes me look fat?

Parker: Oh, definitely. I mean, why do you think I had to let out the waist? To make you look less skinny?

Sophie: She... she didn't mean that.

Heather: Oh, suck it up, Cindy. You'll be fine. Actually, I could not agree more. Finally, someone around here who knows what they're talking about.

(Sophie gives Parker a long look and walks out. The bridesmaid starts to cry)

Parker: Now much do you weigh, anyway? A buck fifty?

[Dining Room:

Nate: I checked the library and the maid's room. No sign of the money. Now, we need to focus. We only have one day left before we--


Moscone: Oh, reverend. Reverend, come in. I'm having a drink with my son-In-law to-be.

Adam: Thanks again for doing this on such short notice. The pastor from my church back in Kansas doesn't travel much anymore.

Moscone: Yeah, and the local clergy bowed out because of certain misconceptions about my business.

Nate: Oh, well, I’m very happy to do it. (Moscone offers him a drink) No, thank you. No.

Moscone: Come on.

Nate: Okay.

Moscone: Weddings can be stressful.

Adam: I should really be going. Got to rest up for the big day.

Moscone: Got the bachelor party to go to?

Adam: No, that was last weekend, remember? We went whale watching. (exits)

Moscone: Whale watching. You know what I did before you got here, Reverend? I offered him 200 grand to disappear. Yeah, I was gonna eat everything, the tent, the food, everything. He wouldn't take it.

Nate: Well, maybe he's not interested in money.

Moscone: Or, maybe it wasn't enough. If there's a man without a price, I haven't met him yet, Reverend. Not very Christian of me, I know.

Nate: Oh, you and I have more in common than you think.

Moscone: I doubt that.

Thug: Uh, Nick – Oh, excuse me, father. Uh, our friend from Brooklyn’s on the line.

Moscone: Um, I’ve got to take this, reverend.

Nate: Oh, yes. Of course. Thank you for the drink. (exits)

Moscone (picks up phone): What?

Nate: Hardison, office phone. Get the feed.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Moscone: Well, you tell that bastard if he wants that money so bad, I'll give it to him at the reception, huh? And he better bring Maria one hell of a gift.

Nate: Okay, that means the deal is going down at the wedding, probably involving all of Moscone’s available cash.

Eliot: So, basically, we go in. We've got to find the money. Then we've got to get it out under the noses of 200 hungry guests.

Parker: While we run the wedding?

Nate: Hey, we find the money, we get out before it starts. You know, I swear, I never understood the lengths people go with these things. I mean, the endless - you know, the dresses and the endless toasts and the crying. And and, you know, it's just-it's unbelievable to me. And everyone has a role to play, right? And the bride and groom at the end of the day, they go home with a pile of cash. And if you really think about it, the whole thing is just a giant, giant con.

(Sophie stands up and starts to leave, then turns back)

Sophie: Well... aren't you romantic. (leaves)

[Leverage Kitchen]

Hardison: Yo. No way in hell I could ever imagine getting married. I mean, it's just - It's just a piece of paper.

(Eliot, eating an apple, looks at Hardison)

Hardison: I take it you've never been married.

Eliot: No.

Hardison: Ever come close?

Eliot: No.

Hardison: What was her name?

Eliot: It was a girl I grew up with. But anyway, she married somebody else, so...

Hardison: Hot-hot damn, what did you do?

Eliot: What did I do? I liberated Croatia. (leaves)

Hardison: Oh, see, now, me, I would have just got fat and started up a comic-Book shop. That's you and me right there.

[Moscone House]

(workers are finishing preparations for the wedding on the grounds)


(Hardison walks in to see Parker putting on a bridesmaid’s dress)

Hardison: Whoa, uh...

Parker: It's okay. Here, zip.

(Hardison comes over to zip up Parker’s dress)

Hardison: Now, I know that you're in charge of the bridesmaids' dresses, but why are you wearing one?

Parker: A bridesmaid's dress is like an all-access pass at a wedding. Plus, I kind of said something, and the maid of honor cried. And Sophie said I should make it up to her.

Hardison: By looking much, much better in the same dress? Yeah, you let me know how that goes.

Parker: Hmm, you really think I look good?

Hardison (pinning flowers on her dress): And now you're perfect.


(Heather on the phone as Sophie walks in)

Heather: You guys were supposed to be here an hour ago! Yeah, well, I don't care where you put the trucks, as long as they're not visible from the house.

(another call beeps in, Heather looks at the caller ID)

Heather: Hold on, I’ve got to take this. Yeah-hold—

(Heather sees Nate standing nearby)

Heather: Not now. Not now! (into phone) It's in the screening room. The screening room. (looks down) Who left mud-- Lourdes, why is there mud on the floor?! Oh. Yeah, I’m listening.


(Hardison plants more bugs among the tables before setting up his computer on the sound board to monitor all the bugs throughout the house)

[Exterior House]

(guests continue to arrive, including the Russians. Standing on a balcony, Nate identifies one of them and watches as Heather greets them)

Nate: Everybody stop what they're doing. Meet me at the southwest corner now.


(Sophie walks into the room to see Maria crying)

Sophie: I'll be right down. (to Maria) What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong?

Maria: What's wrong? Everything. Adam and I wanted something small. But Heather said dad needed this to wine and dine his business people. But now I realize, it's all about her!

Sophie: Like your feelings don't matter. Like you don't even exist.

Maria: Yes.

Sophie: I'm gonna tell you something, and I want you to listen to me, okay, 'cause I learned this the hard way. Do not put your faith in a man.

Maria: I know--what?

Sophie: Men don't communicate, so what do we do? We project onto them about us and our lives together. It's all rubbish. We don't know what they want. You want to know what they're thinking about when they're off staring into space, looking all romantic? The job. It's all about work to them. That's all they care about. Yeah, my advice? Do not put your faith in a man.

[Exterior House]

(Eliot walks up to the rest of the team)

Eliot: What is it? I got bacon on.

Parker: The Butcher is here.

Eliot: Does he have the baby lamb chops?

Hardison: No. The butcher of Kiev.

Nate: Think he'll recognize you?


(flames surrounding them, the Butcher has Eliot by the neck and is trying to cut him with a meat cleaver. Eliot is barely holding him off)

Butcher: I kill you!

[Exterior House]

Eliot: Yeah, I think he'd remember me.

Nate: Okay, well how is it that we know how good "Jersey boys" is, but we missed this somehow?

Hardison: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Tone it down, brother. Okay, first of all, the sass? It's not helpful.

Nate: But you were listening to the tapes. How did we miss this?

Hardison: Why are y'all looking at me? Okay, look, the guest list didn't raise any red flags with the feds.

[FBI Van]

(agents lean out of the van looking toward the house with binoculars)

McSweeten: Looks like Steve and Scott Miller arrived.

Taggert: There sure are a lot Millers at this wedding.

[Exterior House]

Nate: Okay, listen, we have a world-class killer here who's going to I. D. Eliot, and we are not prepared for this at all. So I am gonna pull the plug. I want everyone to meet me at the van in two minutes.

Eliot: Man.

Sophie: I'm staying.

Nate: I'm sorry. You're-you're what?

Sophie: I'm staying.

Nate: You're staying? Sophie, Sophie, it's the Butcher of Kiev.

Hardison: Have you ever been to Kiev? The cake-maker of Kiev would whup all our ass. This is the butcher.

Sophie: Uh-Huh. (to Nate) Is this about fear of the Russian mob, or fear of intimacy?

Nate: Oh, my god.

Listen, I made a promise to my friend Teresa and I’m not gonna let her down. And that bride in there--what's her name--I'm not gonna let her down, either. So you guys can go. I'm staying. I'll do this by myself if I have to.

Nate: Okay, fine. Sophie, Hardison, Parker, find the money. Eliot, stay away from the Butcher.

(wedding music rings out)

Nate: Uh, me... I have a wedding to officiate.

(group goes their separate ways)


Nate: And so, what do our readings today tell us about marriage? Well, it's a union. It's a holy bond. It's a wonderful institution we have in which two people fall deeply in love. It's a covenant. It's a contract. What do we know about contracts? Well, we know they're pretty lousy vehicles for making people happy, I'll tell you that for free. One party feels they're getting the short end of the stick. And, uh, before you know it, people start to lawyer up. And, well, try telling that to someone who thinks marriage is a sacred bond and a covenant. I mean, you might as well explain baseball to a dog. But at least a dog will bring the ball back to you, and you can pat it on its head.

(wedding guests look confused)


Eliot (to man): Can you get me some paprika?

Parker (coming up stairs): Downstairs is clear. That leaves one place where the money could be stashed. The screening room.

(Eliot looks at her but continues cooking)

Parker: Go.

Eliot: These peaches aren't gonna poach themselves, Parker.

Parker: Sorry, Emeril.

Eliot: What was that?

Parker: You heard me.

Eliot: Yeah. I'll show you. Bam!


Nate: I mean, what is marriage? I mean, is it running around rooftops in Paris?

Heather (to Moscone): I have no idea.

Nate: I don't think so. No. It's pushing a cart around the Home Depot.

(Adam moves forward to say something and Nate waves him away)

Nate: We're good. We're good, pal. It's pushing a cart around Home Depot. That's what it is, it's hard work. Hard, hard, hard, hard work, people.


(Parker picks the lock on the screening room door and checks her watch, cursing at how long it took her to open it before entering the room)


Nate: I-I mean, you know, some people don't understand how hard a real relationship can be. And some people should consider that other people, you know, they don't, uh, maybe they need a little time, you know, before they start dating some people again and-and-and start committing and-and-and-and-and-and...

(at the back of the crowd, Sophie has tears in her eyes. Nate seems to realize where he is)

Nate: But... but luckily, luckily, luckily, Adam and Maria, they don't have such problems. No, because, you know, Maria, despite all the fear and doubt that life brings, Adam, when he looks at you, Maria, you know, he knows that you have made him a better man, a better version of himself.

(Nate is speaking to the bride and groom, but talking to Sophie, who is trying not to cry)

Nate: And now that he's known you, he can never go back. And, Maria, you know that, when you look at Adam, yes, you know you've made him a better man and that he should probably just give up and agree with you.

(crowd laughs)

[Screening Room]

(Parker begins to search the room)


Nate: Well, I would like to now pronounce you, uh, man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

(bride and groom kiss as the crowd stands and claps. Sergie and Moscone exchange words and leave the tent)

Nate: Um... Moscone is leaving. The deal is going down now.

(Sophie leaves. Hardison continues to monitor the bugs planted everywhere)

[Dining Room]

Sergei: I have a meeting tomorrow morning in London and the jet is idling.

Moscone: G4?

Sergei: Do I look like a hockey player? Global Express.


Hardison: Eliot, I got the boss and Sergei in the dining room.


Hardison: Where are they going?

(Eliot looks around the corner into the hall and sees Moscone at the door to the screening room)

Eliot: The screening room. Parker, you got the money?

[Screening Room]

Parker: Not yet.

Eliot: All right, they're on their way. Get out now.

Parker: Not an option.

(Parker runs for somewhere to hide. Moscone and Sergei enter)

Moscone: In my day, no one would do business at their daughter's wedding.

(Parker is hiding in the window, behind the curtains)

Sergei: I have deals going on in three different continents right now. I take payments 24/7. The days of credit are over.

(Moscone opens a cabinet and removes a case, placing it on the table.)

Moscone: Well, the ports of Long Beach have been good to us. My unions got some fat homeland security contracts. And this-this is just the tip of the iceberg. (the case is empty) What?!

Sergei (points gun at Moscone’s throat): Where is my money?

Moscone: It was in there! I put the money in myself! Look, get that gun out of my face before I call my guys.

Sergei: Do it. I tell my crew to start shooting everyone in the tent, starting with the bride.

Parker: Money gone. Sergei not happy.


Nate: Yeah, keep a lid on things until I figure out what happened.

Sophie: What's going on?

Nate: Somebody beat us to the money. They set up Moscone to hand Sergei an empty briefcase.

Sophie: Who?

(Nate looks around the room, his eyes settling on Heather)


(Heather kisses Sergei in greeting)

Heather (on phone): It's in the screening room. The screening room.


Nate: Go get me heather's phone.

(Sophie heads across the dance floor toward Heather)

[Screening Room]

Moscone: I've got money overseas. This is just a cash-flow issue. It's business!

Sergei: I didn't do anything when you shot my brother like a dog in that restaurant.


(Moscone shoots the Anatoli in the restaurant)

Ray: What did you do?!

Moscone: Not me. You.

[Screening Room]

Sergei: Nobody wanted a war. But now you cheat us on a payout? I have a green light.

Moscone: Your brother, huh? Look, it was a mistake, okay?

(Sergei’s phone rings, but when he answers, no one is there)


(Nate looks down at Heather’s phone, which shows that the last number called was Sergei)

Nate: Eliot, get to the screening room right now.


(Eliot puts food down and heads toward the hall, only to stop when he sees the Butcher and several other thugs walk in. The Butcher is holding a black bag. Eliot walks back into the kitchen)


(Eliot hits the butcher on the side of the face with a burning piece of wood)

Butcher: It burns!


(Butcher turns to one of the thugs, showing the burn scars on the side of his face)

Butcher (in Russian): Cut him off.

(the Butcher heads for the kitchen while the thugs turn to enter the kitchen from the other direction)


(thugs cut off Eliot’s escape. The Butcher holds up a meat cleaver)

Butcher: Going somewhere, my friend? Huh?


(reception is in full swing with many couples on the dance floor)

Sophie: Why would Heather give up all this just for a bag of money?

Nate: Well, she didn't. The Russians have the money. She just told them where to find it.

Sophie: So the empty briefcase was the excuse Sergei needed to kill Moscone.

Nate: The guy's been waiting five years, climbing up the ranks. She gets the fat offshore accounts her husband put in her name. This is the, you know, the big score. There's no messy divorce, but she's not... here. And...

Sophie: Okay. I'll go find her. Yeah. (leaves)


(one of the thugs attacks Eliot, but he dodges and knocks the other thug down the stairs. Turning, he takes out the first thug)

Sergei: Now I kill you.

(Eliot picks up a pan and fends off the Butcher’s cleaver and knife with it. The Butcher knocks the pan from Eliot’s hand, but Eliot still manages to block his attack and take the knife. The Butcher manages to avoid Eliot’s knife thrust and turn the blade back on him)

[Screening Room]

(Sergei still has a gun at Moscone’s throat)

Moscone: I can get your money with one phone call.

Sergei: Global economy never waits.

Parker (coming out from behind curtains): Oh!

(Sergie puts his gun away)

Parker: Ooh, you're not the deejay. I was supposed to meet him in here. Shh. Hey, the father of the bride! (takes Moscone and Sergei’s hands) He's in here! Everybody's been looking for you. You're in so much trouble. (pulls them toward the door) Come on, party's in full swing. He's in here! (exits room)

Sergei: One word, everyone dies. After you.

(both men exit the room)


(Eliot manages to knock the knife away and kicks the Butcher back. The knife changes hands again, and Eliot blocks the Butcher’s thrust before pushing him away. The Butcher continues to attack, but Eliot dodges before picking up a whisk to fend him off)


Cindy: When I look at Maria and Adam, I feel such a whirlwind of emotions.

Parker: Hardison, Moscone and Sergei are leaving through the north west exit.

(Hardison looks out of tent to see the men coming down stairs)

Cindy: First of all, I know that she has found her one, true love. Adam is such a great person, such a big--

(Hardison takes the microphone from Cindy)

Hardison: Uh, hey, hey. Hey, girl. Let's give it up for the maid of honor. You are working the hell out of that dress. Mmm, good god.

(guests applaud)

Hardison: Um, and now let's give it up for the man that made all of this happen, (heads for tent entrance) Moscone, big papa, the duke of the docks, (runs out of the tent) the sultan of sanitation, my man, (grabs Moscone’s arm and pulls him toward the tent) Mr. Nick Moscone!

(Sergie tries to follow closely, but Hardison blocks him)

Hardison: Watch out, bro. Personal space. Appreciate it.

(they enter the tent and Hardison grabs Maria’s hand and pulls her toward the dance floor while pushing Moscone ahead of him)

Hardison: It's, uh It's time for the father-daughter dance. So do your thing. Keep dancing, keep two-stepping.

(Adam watches with a smile, standing next to Sergei)


(the Butcher continues to try to stab Eliot, who evades him). Eliot traps the blade of the knife in the whisk and disarms the Butcher before punching him several times. The Butcher strikes back, then picks up Eliot and throws him down on the counter, choking him)

Butcher: Now I kill you!

(Eliot reaches back and uses a rolling pin to pull a tray of appetizers closer. He grabs one of them and pushes it into the Butcher’s eyes)

Butcher: It burns!

(Eliot grabs a tray and hits the Butcher in the head with it, knocking him out)

Eliot: It's the lemon juice.

Nate (entering): You just kill a guy with an appetizer?

Eliot: I don't know. Maybe.


(Moscone and Maria are still dancing when Parker joins Hardison)

Parker: Their ride's here.

Hardison: It's about time. How did you get away from Sergei in the screening room?

Parker: I pretended I was drunk and that we were meeting down there to have sex.

(Hardison looks at her in surprise)


(Nate looks in the bag the Butcher was carrying and finds that it’s full of money. He tosses Eliot a set of keys)

Nate: Put it in the trunk.

Eliot: This car?

Nate: Do it. Hardison, we've got to end the wedding now. Get Adam and Maria out immediately.

(both men leave the kitchen)


Hardison: Hey, people, what's happening? I just got word that there's a storm brewing in the Rockies, so if these kids want to make it to Kansas by tomorrow, they got to go.

(crowd boos)

Hardison: Oh, yeah, yeah, look, hey, hey, hey, hey. If y'all don't want them driving through golf-ball-sized hail, let's give them a good send-off, come on, people. (to Sergei) How are you doing?

Adam: I'm sorry this day didn't work out the way you wanted.

Maria: It did.

(they kiss and allow Parker to usher them out of the tent. Moscone looks at his thugs and gestures toward Sergei.)

Nate (to Sergei, in Russian): You're a dead man.

Sergei: Do you think you scare me Reverend?

Nate: No, I don't think I do, but I think that Mr. Moscone's friends here…

(Moscone’s men flank Sergei)

Nate: …might put the fear of god into you. If you're looking for your people, they're in the kitchen.

Sergie: Please, excuse me.

Nate: Certainly.

(Moscone’s men lead Sergei away)

Thug: Exactly what denomination are you, Reverend?

Nate: I—

Sophie (on comm): Nate. Nate, can you hear me?

Nate (to Sophie): Okay, yeah. Where's Heather?

[Exterior House]

(Sophie follows Heather down some stairs)

Sophie: I got her. (to Heather) Hey, you miserable shrew. You are never gonna bother those kids again, ever. And you better start brushing up on your Russian 'cause your husband's about to discover you're the one who sold him out.

Heather: You're not Mary Poppins. You're a bitch.

(hits Sophie with a bag. Sophie falls)

Sophie: Ow! That hurt!

(Heather walks down the drive and around a corner)

Sophie: Nate, I lost her.


(Nate pours himself a drink while Eliot examines his wounds. Moscone walks in)

Moscone: Where's my wife?

Nate: Your wife? She's gone.

(Moscone looks between the two men then leaves. Parker, Sophie and Hardison enter from the other end of the kitchen)

Parker: Where's the cash?

Sophie: Yeah, where's Teresa’s money?

(Nate looks at Eliot, who is sipping wine)

Sophie: Oh, Nate, what have you done this time?

Nate: Ah. Wait for it.

(light on phone is blinking, showing a phone in use in the Library)


Moscone: Yeah, yeah, I need all new codes for—


(Nate is holding handset of phone and gestures Hardison over to take it)

Moscone: --Cayman Bank and Trust, account number 7187931768.

(Hardison pulls a pad of paper and starts writing things down)

Nate: You know all those offshore accounts that Moscone has, you know, the ones in Heather's name? Well, now that she's blown town, guess who's on the phone changing the passwords. (to Hardison) Can you do anything with those?

Hardison: Oh, I can do everything with them.

Sophie: Wait, wait, wait. I-I still don't understand. What happened to the cash?

Nate: Oh, the cash. Well...

(Eliot smiles and looks down)


(Nate looks in the bag the Butcher was carrying and finds that it’s full of money. He tosses Eliot a set of keys)

Nate: Put it in the trunk.

Eliot: This car?

Nate: Do it.

(Eliot places the bag in the trunk of a car and closes it, revealing a just married sign as the car drives away)

Eliot: Don't spend it all in one place.


Sophie: So, padre, a wedding's just a big con, huh?

(Sophie walks out, followed by Parker who is trying to get her gloves off)

Nate: I never said there was anything wrong with that. Let's go. (exits)

Hardison (eating appetizer): This is pretty good, man.

Eliot: Thanks, man. I squeeze, like, fresh lemon juice on it.

Hardison: Cool. Cool.

(they follow Nate out of the kitchen)

[Exterior House]

(Hardison is standing near some bushes holding his laptop, Moscone nearby smoking a cigar. Nate approaches Hardison holding a bible)

Nate: Did you clear out Moscone’s accounts?

Hardison: I left him five dollars for socks.

Nate: Meet me at the car.

(Hardison walks off as Nate approaches Moscone)

Moscone: Reverend.

Nate: Did you find your wife?

Moscone: No. And you know what? Good riddance. On the day my daughter takes her vows, that woman broke her vows to me. I can't think of anything lower than that.

Nate: "Give, and it shall be given to you. For whatever measure you deal to others, it will be dealt to you in return." People who break their promises get what's coming to them, Mr. Moscone.

Moscone: Thanks, Reverend. That makes me feel better.

Nate: Sure. (hands him bible) Please. Take it.

Moscone: Oh, I appreciate it, Reverend, but I’m a busy guy.

Nate: Well, you never know when you might find the time. (walks away)

[Brava Cusina]

(team readies a table, placing table cloth, lighting candle. Lights go up when Sophie and Teresa enter, surprising Teresa)

Parker: Surprise! Surprise!

Hardison: Surprise! Surprise!

Teresa: What the--

Sophie: It's all yours. (hands her keys)

Teresa: What? I don't know what to say.

(daughter runs to sit on Parker’s lap)

Sophie: Give me a hug. (they hug)

Teresa: Oh, my gosh.

Sophie: Come. Come sit down.

Teresa: I wish Ray were here to see this.

Hardison: Wait for it.

Teresa: Huh?

(Hardison turns a laptop around to face Teresa)

Reporter (on screen): Moscone's arrest casts new light on the murder of Russian hit man Anatoli Sirosky, a murder L.A. Restaurant owner Raymond Palermo was convicted of five years ago. Mr. Palermo's attorneys are already filing appeals.

Teresa: I thought you couldn't. How?


(Hardison pins a flower on Parker’s dress, close up shows camera among blooms.)

(Parker hiding in window of screening room)

Sergei: I didn't do anything when you shot my brother like a dog in that restaurant.

Moscone: Your brother, huh? Look, it was a mistake.

(in the FBI van, Taggert and McSweeten cheer as they hear the confession)

[Brava Cusina]

Teresa (to daughter): Daddy's coming home.

(team claps and cheers)

Eliot: Hot plates! Hot plates! Hey, come on, now!

(Eliot begins setting down plates)

Eliot: Make some room. Make a little room there.

(mixed conversation as they all toast Ray coming home)

The End

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