[Interior Bank, Juan]
Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.
Judge Roy: Hey, sweetheart.
Frank: Can I help you, your honor?
Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?
Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.
Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister?
Sophie: Go get 'em, Tiger.
Frank (handing Judge a briefcase full of money): If there's anything else you need ...
Judge Roy: We'll call your boss. Now get the hell out of my face. Trick to a one-horse town? Being the horse.
Nate (opening briefcase): Oh! That's a little more than we discussed ...
Judge Roy: I trust that won't be a problem.
Nate: No, it's no problem. Just more money, more risk for me, I'm going to have to adjust my fee. I'm thinkin'
Judge Roy: 15, and I won't have you arrested for extortion.
Nate: Ah. Well, you know what they say. Launderin's a dirty business.
Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.
Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal
before you can rip them off.
Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks
having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?
Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town.
Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an
hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.
Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper)
Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?
Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are
cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed.
Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?
Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son
of a bitch.
(Nate sees Derrick and son, realizes something’s off, pauses near door)
Judge Roy: What's the matter?
Nate: We gotta get out of here.
Judge Roy: I thought that's what we were doing.
Hardison: What's he waiting for?
(Sophie gets up and walks toward door)
Guard (seeing problem at counter, walks that way): Sir, I'm gonna need you to backup from the counter.
Derrick: What for?
Guard: Just step back sir. (pulls gun) Put your hands up!
Derrick (puts hands up and backs away): Easy. Easy.
Son (puts gun at guard’s neck) Drop the gun! Drop it!
Derrick: This is a robbery. I want to hurt anybody but we will if you don't do exactly what we say. Everyone away
from the door, now!
Parker: You've got to be kidding me.
Hardison: Oh, hell no.
Eliot: I knew this went too smooth!
Son (pointing gun at guard) Lock the door! Lock it.
Derrick (to Judge Roy and Nate): You two, out on the floor where we can see you. Come on! Out from behind
the counter. Everyone on the floor! (handing clerk a bag) Empty all tills. Put everything in there.
Nate: Get out. Now.
Hardison: Is he talking to us?
Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to
Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?
Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.
Parker: Sophie was still in there.
Derrick: It is not enough ... not even close.
Michael: We're running out of time. What are we going to do?
Derrick (dragging clerk over to safe): Open the safe.
Clerk: I, I can't, it's on a timer. It can only be opened certain times of the day.
Michael: There's no-one here who can open it?
Clerk: No, I, don't think so. The manager, they have the codes.
(Judge Roy pushes briefcase under a desk)
Derrick: Damn it.
Clerk: I'm sorry.
Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.
(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)
(Police car passes driving toward bank as van drives away)
Parker: Not a bad response time. Somebody must have tripped the silent alarm.
Hardison: This is so not good.
Manager: We don't know that yet. Look we go the money up there ...
Nate: These guys don't know what they're doing.
Judge Roy: Maybe I should talk to them. Get them to listen to reason.
Nate: Well, that's a good idea ... get us both shot, huh?
Judge Roy: I've got killers standing in front of me every day in court. These guys ain't them.
Nate: Yeah, you may be right.
Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...
(Eliot crosses police line)
Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.
Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.
Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...
Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?
Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a
Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?
Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.
Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?
Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...
Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are
at, you know?
Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.
Deputy Arnold: Thank you.
Derrick: I know it's almost 5 o'clock. Just go count the money and we'll be fine. Just calm down.
(Judge Roy gets up and approaches Derrick)
Derrick: What the hell are you doing? Get back down on the ground.
Judge Roy: You know who I am?
Derrick: I don't care.
Judge Roy: You should. See, I'm the guy that can make this whole thing go away. All you've got to do is walk out
the front door.
Derrick: Is that so?
Judge Roy: Thing is, I'm the law in this town. That fella out there with the badge, that's Bill. He works for me.
One phone call, he and his guys hop back in the car and drive away, no questions asked. Let me talk to you for a
Derrick: Stay where you are.
Nate: How are you doing?
Sophie: I'm just peachy. How about you?
Nate: Something weird is going on in here.
Sophie: You noticed that too, huh?
Nate: Did you hear what that guy said? They didn't have enough. They need more cash, and it's not to pay rent.
Sophie: I don't care what it's for. Let's just focus on getting out of here.
Nate: We help these guys get what they want, then we can get everybody out of here safely, without anyone
getting hurt. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to leave my fate in the hands of the Juan
Volunteer S.W.A.T. team.
Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan?
Judge Roy: The truth ... the truth is what I say. Whatever story I make up about what happened in here, these
little people will tell the cops. So, yeah, son, that's how it works in this town. All that you got to do, is walk out that
front door. It's that easy.
Derrick: Thanks, boss. But I've been around long enough to know that things that sound easy hardly ever are.
(raising gun again) Now sit your ass back down!
Nate: We cannot allow the local Leo's to handle the situation. We have to get charge of it. We have to be the
police. (Judge Roy returns to floor) Well, how did that go for you there, Judge?
(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)
Eliot: Nice ride.
Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)
Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside,
1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's
wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.
Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,
Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.
Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of
Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.
Hardison: You're adorable
Parker: So what do you got, Sheriff?
Bill: Well, I can't really get a good look inside, so we don't know how many gunmen there are or how many
hostages they have, or what they want.
Parker: Hmm. What about your tactical insertion team?
Bill: Well, we don't have a S.W.A.T. team, per se, but uh, Ol' Virgil up there, he's a hell of a crack shot.
Judge Roy: Better make sure our under the table money stays under the table. If the feds find that, we're
Michael: We're still short. We gotta get into that vault.
Derrick: Where's the manager?
Sophie: Um, Sir ... I'm the branch manager.
Clerk: Hey ...
Manager: If she wants to hang herself, let her.
Sophie: I, I might be able to override the vault's timer. I could try if you want.
Nate: What the hell are these guys up to?
Judge Roy: You got me. All my years on the bench I've never seen bank robbers try to add to their haul after
the place was surrounded. Usually their minds are on gettin' the hell out of Dodge.
Nate: What would help ... You listening? What would help, is if we had some kind of background on these people,
you know, so we could know how to deal with them right here, right now.
Hardison: Already working on it. I've hacked into the bank's security system. I've got a good look at your
gunmen. I'm running them through my facial recognition database. Tapped into the NSA and the FBI. If these
guys have records, we should get something pretty quick. Oh, that was fast. These guys must have warrants.
Well, check that. The older guy, is U.S. Military. Derrick Clark. Served as an officer in the Navy for 20 years.
Retired last Spring.
Nate: Well, it doesn't make se, uh ... It doesn't make sense, uh. Why would a guy like that rob a bank?
Hardison: I'm accessing his financials. Looks like Derrick cleared out all accounts this morning, even visited a bunch
of ATM's around town hitting his daily withdrawal limit on all his credit cards.
Nate: Yeah, but who takes all their money out of the bank and then comes back later only to rob it.
Judge Roy: You say something?
Nate: What? No, I was just, I was thinking about, you know, if the cops were smart about this, they would I.D.
these guys, kinda figure out who they are and maybe get to their family members.
Eliot: Three steps ahead of you. Hardison just me texted me the address, I'm on my way there right now.
(power goes off inside bank)
Judge Roy: What the hell! You know how hot it's going to get in here?
Nate: What the he ... What's going on?
Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?
Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.
Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?
Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.
Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.
Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in
Bill: We're just going by the book.
Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.
Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.
Sophie: Why are you doing this?
Derrick: Don't have a choice. We need the money.
Sophie: For what? Your son in some kind of trouble? Well, he is your son, right?
Derrick: It's none of your damn business.
Sophie: Seeing how you have a gun pointed at me, I kind of feel like it is.
Derrick: You don't know the combination, do you? Are you even the branch manager?
Sophie: Um, not exactly. Okay Derrick, listen up. It's like this. I just want to help you. You and your son.
Derrick: How do you know my name?
Sophie: I know a lot of things. I know you don't want to hurt anyone. And I know you wouldn't be doing this if
you didn't have to. So just, just try to help me to understand. What's the money for?
[cell phone ringing]
Michael: Hello? No, I'm working on it. It'll be there. Yes, all of it, just ... Just, please ... don't hurt her, just ...
(dial tone) Hello?
[Interior Clark House]
Eliot: The house has been broken into. (looking at paperwork on floor) Someone was here when it happened. His
name is Michael. I found his report card on the floor.
Michael: What are you doing? Get back on the ground.
Nate: It's not too late, Michael. That's right. You can still save her. Do you know who took her?
Michael: It's all is my fault. They did it. They think I did it. They left a note, said that they wanted a hundred
grand by 5 o'clock, or they'd kill her.
Nate: Well, we're going to let that happen. Okay? But you have to trust me, and you have to do exactly what I
say. And I promise you we get your mom back.
Michael: They had me doing little things at first, errands, stuff like that. And then, a few months back I started
running for them.
Michael: Meth, mostly. I mean, I just, I ... I got caught up, you know?
Nate: Michael, why are they coming after you now?
Michael: Well, last week they got ripped off. An entire shipment. It was ... It was just gone, and they think ...
They think I did it, but I had nothing to do with it.
Nate: Right so, they broke into your place, they didn't find it. So they took your mom as collateral?
Michael: They said I could return the shipment or pay a hundred grand. I mean, that's a hundred grand, my dad
and I don't have that kind of money. This is all my fault. (to hostages) Everybody shut the hell up.
Nate (grabbing Michael’s arm): Just gotta listen to me. I know what you're going through, and I can help you, if
you let me.
Michael: How? I mean, you're trapped in here, same as us.
Nate: I got people on the outside.
Derrick: No. No cops. If they find out we contacted the police, they'd kill her.
Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.
Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.
Sophie: I am a thief.
Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.
Sophie: That creep over there, Judge Roy? Amongst other things he's been taking bribes from meth dealers and
smugglers. 2 months ago, he cut a man loose who killed a local girl.
Derrick: Delgado, right? Beth Delgado. I remember that. She was a good kid. She went to school with my son.
Sophie: Well, we're running a scam on the judge. We're stealing all his dirty money and giving it to the family.
Listen, I have on partner inside the bank, and 3 more outside.
Derrick: I can't trust you. You're thieves.
Sophie: And we're your only chance. The police have this place surrounded. You're not going anywhere. My
people are the only ones who can make the drop.
Derrick: But how are they going to do that? The deadline's in half an hour. Your friends just happen to have
$100,000 lying around?
Nate: We going to use the money that we have in here.
Michael: It is not enough. We're still short thirty grand.
Nate: No, Michael, no, not that money. We have an alternate revenue source.
Hardison: Is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting?
Parker: Are you suggesting what we think you're suggesting? You want to give our bad guy's money to some
other bad guys?
Nate: Yes, exactly what I'm suggesting we do. But we're going to do it without blowing our covers, gang.
Michael: Who are you talking to?
[Interior Clark House]
Eliot: Maybe I'm just dense, Nate, but your alternate revenue source is sitting 2 feet from "Boss Hogg" himself in
the middle of a bank surrounded by a bunch of cops.
Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest
thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?
Parker: There's a first time for everything. The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a
larger than normal night deposit chute.
Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only
limited to ones and zeroes?
Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building.
Nate: You'll be visible to the cops out front.
Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.
[Interior Clark House]
Eliot: What's that?
Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so
they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.
Nate: We can't worry about that now.
Hardison: When do we worry about it?
Nate: In about 45 minutes.
Michael: What's going on?
Hardison: Oh, 45 minutes, 45 minutes, we need to stall them for 45 minutes, piece of cake, plenty of time, I'm
Derrick (drags Sophie back into main part of building and throws her to the floor): No more talking! No more trying
to convince us you can help. We're in charge! We talk, you listen. That's the way it works. (points gun at Nate)
Get away from him! Everybody up against the desks. Come on! Let's go!
Michael: You heard him! Move it!
Clerk: Thanks for trying.
Michael: Everybody sit down and shut up!
(Derrick pushes the money further behind the desk)
Bill: So we used, uh, baling wire, like, 20 pound ...
Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just
please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was
THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas.
One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously?
Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,
(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)
Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they
were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate.
Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch,
somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving.
Everybody get out. Go. You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.
Bill: We have to trust them.
Michael: They're criminals. (looks out window) But then again ...
Judge Roy: What'd you say to them?
Nate: Well, you know, I was just trying to divide and conquer a little bit. Play the kid, get them to turn on each
other. It was starting to work, too, but--It was starting to work, too, but ...
(Derrick opens night deposit box)
Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.
Parker: Yeah, I know.
Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.
Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.
Judge Roy: Listen, kid, you obviously got yourself in some trouble here. Why don't you let me help you out?
Nate: Judge, I think they're serious when they said "no talking". So maybe we should just stay here, not talk, and
do what they ask, hmm? It's better that way. It's better that way.
Judge Roy (stands up): Just hear me out. You need money, right? Money, I got. Ain't no reason you and I can't
come to some sort of arrangement. It would be a loan, of course.
Michael: Stop. (cocking gun) Where are you going?
Judge Roy (edging toward desk): I'm just showing you my word is good. Now, how much did you need? Because
I've got quite ... (looks under desk) What the hell? Where is my briefcase?
Michael (Cell rings, he pulls it out and looks at it): It's them. (looks at Nate) What do I do?
Nate: Judge ...
(Judge and Michael struggle over gun, it goes off, hits Nate)
Michael: Oh, my god!
Derrick: Drop the gun.
Judge Roy: You first.
Sophie: Talk to me. Talk to me.
Cops: Shots fired! Shots fired!
Hardison: Whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up, just ... Whoa, wait a minute, man.
Bill: There could be people hurt in there.
Hardison: We don't know that, it was just one shot. Now look, we all go in there guns blazing, there will be more
shots and people will get hurt. We need to know what happened.
Sophie: Please, everybody just calm down. Just, just put the guns down. We can talk this thing through.
Judge Roy: I'm not taking orders from you, missy.
Sophie: What is your problem?
Judge Roy: My problem? You're my problem. You and Nate there. Yeah, I heard what you called him. Nate.
Which is weird cause when we met he told me his name was Carl. You guys are trying to rip me off. You're in on
it with these two.
Derrick: We have nothing to do with these people.
Judge Roy: No, no, no, no. No I see what's going on here. The four of you are conspiring against me. This bank
robbery, it's not even real, is it? It's just one big scam to try to get my money! Actually, it's not a bad plan. If old
Carl here just disappeared with the cash he knew I'd come after him. Eventually I'd track him down. But if money
is stolen in a bank robbery, well, heck you might get away with that.
Derrick: You're wrong. They were just try to help us. My wife, she was taken. We need the money for ransom.
Judge Roy: Ransom? Really? Is that the best you can do? You'd have to be an idiot to fall for a cockamamie
story like that!
Michael: He's telling you the truth.
Judge Roy: Oh Shut up! All of you shut up! Now, hand over that gun before I get it into my head to shoot all four
(Derrick hesitates, but gives up gun and backs away. Judge Roy lets Michael go)
Sophie: Now, please. He needs to get to a hospital.
Judge Roy (picks up Derrick’s gun): That ain't going to happen. Nobody gets out of here, until I get my money.
Where is my damn briefcase?
(Eliot checks his watch, eyes on briefcase)
Sophie: It's not here.
Judge Roy: Well I can see that.
Sophie: No, I mean it's not in the building.
Eliot: Come on, come on.
Hardison: They haven't arrived yet?
Eliot: Yeah. 'Cause meth-heads are so punctual.
Judge Roy: You don't come into my town, and think you can get away with my money.
Manager: A man has been shot. Sir, you have to let him go.
Judge Roy: I said nobody leaves.
Clerk: He's bleeding.
Judge Roy: Oh shut up everybody! Shut up! I'm trying to think. If you got the briefcase out of the bank, that
means you must have a man on the outside. How are you communicating with him.
Parker: And then I base-jumped off the building onto the roof of an armored truck, and took out the guard.
Bill: You mean the gunman.
Parker: Yeah, that's what I said.
Hardison (walking up): Gunshot was an accidental misfire. No-one was hurt but one of the hostages was grazed.
They're going to release him as soon as their demands are met. Where the hell are those pizzas, anyway?
(Parker and Hardison approach laptop which is showing inside of bank where Judge Roy is approaching Nate)
Parker: Oh, this is bad.
Judge Roy (takes Nate’s earpiece out): You get your guys, when I get my money! (steps on earpiece)
Parker (jumps at feedback): This is really bad.
(Judge Roy nods at Sophie who takes out her earpiece and hands it to him.)
Sophie: Now back off.
(Judge Roy steps on Sophie’s earpiece)
Eliot: Is that what I thought it was?
Hardison: Afraid so. Nate looks pretty messed up, man. We're gonna need that briefcase back.
Eliot (watching kidnappers approach the briefcase): I'm working on it.
Nate: Oh, oh, Sophie, do you mind, do you mind?
Sophie: I think it went through and through. Well, it missed your artery.
Nate: Well, at least there's that.
Sophie: Things could be worse.
Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?
Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out
with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.
Nate: I know.
Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just
Nate: Yeah, you're right.
Sophie: So? What's the plan?
Nate: The plan? The one that involves carving a half-inch hole in my shoulder? That plan? I threw that one out a
long time ago. It doesn't matter now, anyway.
Sophie: We lost communication.
Nate: Yeah, we did.
Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...
Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.
Meth #1 (counting money): There's more than we asked for.
Meth #2: Well ain't that punk just full of surprises?
(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)
Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...
Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his
Meth #2: AAHH!
Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer.
(throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more,
kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her
Mom: Who are you?
Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.
Parker: Ready yet?
Hardison (working on computer): Just a few more minutes.
Parker: Hurry up. Pizza's here.
Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.
Judge Roy: And give up my leverage?
Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright
Derrick: Your people ... they're good?
Nate: Yeah. The best.
Michael: This is all my fault. I never should have gotten involved with those guys. I mean, if something ... If
something happens to mom ... Dad, I'm ... really sorry.
Hardison (knocks on door): This is Agent Leonard with the FBI. We have those pizzas you ordered.
Judge Roy: Uh, we didn't order any.
Nate: You're gonna want to answer that, Judge.
Judge Roy: Old scout, get over here and unlock that door. Come on.
(guard goes to unlock door, Hardison enters as do others including paramedics)
Hardison (Handing Judge Roy one of the pizzas): I was told you were expecting this. Now, is there anything else
that we can get you? Anything at all that would help this end peacefully?
Judge Roy: Oh, no, wait, whoa, wait. I'm not ...
Hardison: Sir, now we brought what you asked for. If you let the hostages go, you and me, we can talk this thing
Judge Roy: You don't understand. You see, it's those four ...
Hardison: Now, now, look here bro ... (gets to his knees) I understand. This seems like a hopeless situation right
Judge Roy: What are you doing?
Hardison: But nobody else needs to get hurt.
Judge Roy: You, you, you! You're one of them, aren't you?
Bill: Move, move! But the gun down, your honor.
Judge Roy: Bill, this is not what it looks like.
Bill: Sir, drop the gun, slowly.
Judge Roy: No, no, no. You guys have got this all wrong! I'm the hero here! I'm the one that ... (Bill puts cuffs
on Judge Roy) What you doing? You work for me!
Bill: You know, Roy, if you needed money you could have come to me for a loan.
Judge Roy: I don't need a loan, I've got plenty of money, th ... What'd you do with the pizza? Where's that pizza
Hardison: Do you understand what he's saying? Because he's not making any sense.
Judge Roy: This is my money! They got my money again!
Bill: What the hell are you talking about?
Judge Roy: It was in my briefcase!
Bill (looks down): This briefcase? (opens briefcase and whistles) Crystal meth? My God, Roy, what have you
gotten yourself into?
Judge Roy: Oh ... I don't ... That's not mine!
Hardison: This is all starting to make sense now. It would explain the irrational behavior, the nervousness, the ...
Judge Roy: Shut up. You're not even real FBI.
Hardison: Paranoid delusions, violent outbursts.
Judge Roy: Listen to me. He's one of them. He's in on it.
Bill: In on what? With who?
Judge Roy: With her!
(Paramedics load Nate onto the gurney)
Judge Roy: And these two, over here! (stops Parker and Eliot from leaving) Hey, hey, hey! These two. (takes off
their hats to reveal they’re not who he thinks they were)
Cop: People step back, please.
(Parametics load Nate into the ambulance)
Cop: Ready? All set!
(Eliot and Parker come around the gurney and start taking off their clothes)
Nate: Well, it's about time.
Eliot: We're going to need your clothes.
Mom (turns around): Michael.
Nate: That's all very heart-warming but could we save it for after the morphine drip?
Eliot: That's exactly what happened. He went berserk. Like he was off his meds or something. Waving his gun
around. You ever seen "Dog Day Afternoon"? Write that down.
Sophie: I guess Carl thought he could talk some sense into him but Judge Roy just kept telling him to shut up.
Eliot: He was just trying to be the hero, but Roy wasn't having it. He shot him where he stood. Cold.
Judge Roy: Well that's, that's ridiculous. That guy wasn't even here! Fred, Fred. Come here. Tell them the truth.
Frank: First of all, it's Frank. And it happened exactly how they said.
Judge Roy: They're lying. They're all lying. If you don't believe me, you just look at the tapes.
Hardison: Good idea.
(Hardison doctoring tapes)
Bill: Pretty damning stuff, Roy. Got you on the TV and everything.
Judge Roy: Well, clearly they doctored it somehow, you idiot.
Sophie: He needs to get to a hospital.
Judge Roy: That ain't gonna happen until I get my money.
Bill: A doctor might not be a bad idea.
Judge Roy: Come on, Bill. You know me.
Bill: Yeah I do, Roy. That's kinda the problem.
Judge Roy: Whoa, Bill, listen to me. These people, they're trying to set me up. They had this planned from the
Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.
Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.
Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!
Bill: That was a real brave thing you did, kid, stepping into a situation like that, totally defenseless. Tell me
something, all the FBI guys got cajones that big?
Hardison: Y'all take care, we have another team coming in to do the wrap-up.
Bill: Alright, folks. Let's go. Let's move it along. Let's go. Show is over.
(Parker and Hardison leave)
Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.
Taggert: Do you have any idea what?
McSweenie: Just go with it.
Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?
Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.
Taggert: Damn, we're good!
Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.
Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.
Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.
Sophie: Well, it's a good start.
Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!
Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.
Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?
Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.
Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.