(Gloria turns off the tea kettle on the stove)
Gloria: Come to bed. It's 4:00 AM, and you have to be at work in three hours.
(Ernesto is sitting at the table, working)
Ernesto: I know. I'm almost finished.
Gloria: You said that two hours ago. (takes Fastlive)
Ernesto: Five more minutes.
Gloria: I'm counting. (gives him a kiss) Enough studying.
(Ernesto waits until a door closes and turns the stove back on. As he turns away, he clutches his chest.
Ernesto: Gloria. Gloria!
(Ernesto falls to the floor and Gloria comes running)
Gloria: Ernesto. Ernesto! No! No-O!
(The team comes through the door)
Parker: I did my job. You told me to get us into the penthouse.
Nate: Yeah, by following my plan, Parker.
Nate: By getting us all in safely.
Parker: Did the elevator decapitate you? Did it decapitate you?
(Parker goes into her office)
Hardison: Actually, from this angle, it looks pretty close on the decapitation.
Eliot: A4. (to Sophie) You need to go talk to her. It's not the first time she's gone loco.
Eliot: I'm serious.
(Sophie walks to the doorway of Parker’s office)
Sophie: Parker, I think what everyone's feeling is that if you want to take insane risks on your own time, then go ahead, but when we're on a job, you have to consider the rest of us.
(Parker walks back to the conference room)
Sophie: Excuse me.
Parker (throws envelope on the table): This isn't for me. It's addressed to somebody named Alice White.
Hardison: You are Alice White. It's one of the aliases I made for you, vegetarian, bookkeeper. She had a pretty wild time at her sister's wedding in Phoenix. You should check out her facebook page.
Parker: Alice White has jury duty.
Hardison: Damn, I am good.
Parker: Yeah, congratulations. Alice thanks you for getting her out of it. (walks out)
Nate: No. No. Jury duty - A place where you have to follow instructions.
Sophie: Where you have to consider other people's point of view.
Eliot: There's gonna be normal people there, Nate.
Nate: No, no, no. You're not getting out of this. Alice White is reporting for jury duty.
(Parker is sitting on the jury)
Richards: Ernesto Vargas was a husband, a father of two daughters, a warehouse manager, and he went to night school. He needed more energy. So he bought this. (picks up bottle from table) Fastlife. It's an "all-Natural energy supplement" that was produced by that man, William Quint. We'll show that Fastlife caused Ernesto Vargas' fatal heart attack, and that Mr. Quint knew the dangers that his product posed when he put it on the market. All Ernesto wanted was more time. And that's the only thing we can't give him.
Peggy (to Parker): I hope the rest of this case is this good.
Parker: What'd you have for breakfast? You smell like gravy.
Judge (bangs gavel): Order. Mr. Louis, are you ready to make your opening statement?
Louis: Yes, your honor. (gets up) Ladies and gentlemen…
(Parker sees a comm unit in Louis’ ear)
Earnshaw: Do it just like we rehearsed, Henry. It's been tailor-made for this jury.
(the warehouse is set up much like the Leverage Conference Room, a long table covered with documents, screens set up to monitor various places, and people moving about)
Louis: …we all want to believe that future tragedies—
Louis: --can be prevented if we hold someone, anyone accountable.
Earnshaw: Maintain eye contact.
Earnshaw: You're losing juror number 4.
Louis (following directions): But common sense will tell you that not all tragedies can be prevented. And when you rush to judgment...
(Parker sees a camera imbedded in a briefcase on the defense lawyer’s table)
(Parker is seen on the monitors looking directly at the camera)
Louis: …lives are ruined, and an honest businessman can have his life's work destroyed.
Earnshaw: Who is she? What is she looking at?
Assistant: Alice White, Bookkeeper. She's been zoning in and out all morning. Could be confused.
(information on Alice White begins scrolling on the screen)
Earnshaw: Nothing's more dangerous than the confused when they think they know something.
(Parker still looking at the camera)
(Nate and Hardison sitting at the conference table watching football and eating as Sophie joins them)
Hardison: So, my video wall plus DirecTV NFL Sunday ticket in HD.
Hardison: What do you think?
Sophie: I think it's funny. You know, it reminds me a bit of rugby, except, well, you Americans, you wear the helmets and the pads and everything so you don't get hurt.
Hardison: Oh, you didn't.
(Parker walks in and stands in front of the monitors)
Nate: Ah, Parker, how is juror number 6 today?
Parker: Good. Okay, here it is.
Hardison: Oh! Fumble!
Parker: I think there's something dirty going on with this trial and the woman who lost her husband's gonna get hurt even worse, and that we should, um, you know, get involved.
Nate: Involved? What--what do you--
Parker: No, no, no. No, no, no. You don't understand. They had hidden cameras, and the lawyers had comms like our comms.
Hardison: First, move. Second, nobody has our comms.
Nate: Parker, listen, there is not some evil conspiracy lurking behind the curtain of every routine civic activity.
Hardison: I make our comms. Me. I make 'em. Ain't nobody got our comms, do what I do.
Nate: Now, what's happening is, you're on a boring jury trial. Okay? Now, could you... Parker! Just...
(Parker walks off into her office)
Nate: All right.
Sophie: you know, she's never done that before.
Nate: What, stormed out? Come on.
Sophie: No, asked for our help. (walks out)
(Nate looks toward Parker, then back at Hardison)
Nate: What? Listen, there is a reason we put her in a jury trial.
(Hardison mutes game)
Hardison: You know, man, when I was a, when I was a kid, I was like 8 years old, I had a foster mom who was Jehovah’s witness. She used to dress me up in a suit and a bow tie and take me door-to-door to spread the word. Black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods, didn't matter. I would kick, I’d scream, or whatever, but she would say "Alec, you need to learn how to talk to people." See, everything I learned about people, I learned ringing doorbells and-and-and being in a bow tie. Parker never had that. I mean, jumping from a skyscraper, she's cool. But making small talk? It’s-it's like pure terror. Just cut her some slack.
(Eliot hurries in with a six pack of beer)
Eliot: How about them Cowboys? What'd I miss?
(Nate looks at Parker, who is dialing her phone)
Nate: All right. Uh, Eliot, gonna need you to go with Parker to check something out.
Eliot: All right.
Nate: Yeah. Now.
Eliot: Right now?
Nate: Yeah, right now. Yeah.
Eliot: Like, now?
Nate: Yeah. Just go get Parker.
(Eliot looks over at Parker, slams his hand on the table and gets up)
Nate Thanks for the beer. (takes one of Eliot’s beers)
Eliot: Tell you what, this is not happenin', bubba. (puts beer back in six pack and picks up pack) You ain't takin' my beer.
(Quint walks around the side of the warehouse and answers his phone)
Quint: I'm outside.
(the side door of the building opens as Quint approaches. Across the way, Elot and Parker watch as Quint goes inside)
(many people are working diligently, updating several boards with juror information. A chess game sits on the table)
Earnshaw: You're late.
Quint: Hey, I just spent eight hours sitting in a plastic chair while some ambulance chaser called me a killer.
(Eliot and Parker show up on a second floor, peeking over)
Earnshaw: I paid for that chair. You don't like it, go home and suck back some incense.
Quint: Always a pleasure, Ms. Earnshaw.
Parker: Who's Earnshaw?
(Eliot takes a picture with his phone and sends it to Hardison)
Hardison: I'm on it.
(Hardison uses facial recognition software on Earnshaw’s picture while Nate watches and takes notes)
Quint: I think maybe I should settle this case and be done with it.
(Parker opens an electrical panel and takes out some tools)
Earnshaw: It's not up to you anymore.
Quint: You want to buy my company, buy it. You don't, don't. But it's my toches that's on the line here.
Earnshaw: The only thing you have on the line is your penny-ante granola company. I could lose everything. Winning is the only option. You go behind my back and try to settle this case, I will bury you. Are we clear?
(Parker connects some clips to wires within the electrical box)
Eliot: That kind of jury profiling costs a fortune.
Parker: At the trial, they said Quint's company was tiny.
Hardison: Now we see... what they see.
(monitors show the same feeds that are in the warehouse)
Hardison: Damn. They hacked the courtroom's security feed and planted their own cameras.
Nate:That's what I would've done.
Hardison: They got there first.
(Earnshaw looks down at the chess board and eventually makes a move on it)
Nate: All right. We have a new client. Apparently, there is an evil conspiracy lurking behind the curtain of every routine et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Gloria Vargas is suing William Quint over the wrongful death of her husband. Now, it should be a simple, low-stakes wrongful death suit.
Hardison: But Quint has help. Tobey Earnshaw, of Earnshaw Pharmaceuticals. Father founded the company, and he's still CEO.
Sophie: Why does a drug heiress care about a lawsuit against a tiny supplements company?
Hardison: 'Cause without telling daddy or the executive board, Earnshaw sank $20 million into R&D for Fastlife in anticipation of buying the company.
Nate:See, Live Herbally loses this trial, then thousands of other lawsuits just like it will fall out of the sky.
Parker:The buyout falls through.
Eliot: Yeah, and Earnshaw's out on her ass.
Nate:To protect an investment she knows kills people, Earnshaw is going to destroy this young widow.
Sophie: Well, then, we have to win the court case for Gloria.
Nate:We can't. No, guys, we got into this way too late. I mean, the best we can hope for is to con Quint into a settlement.
Parker: No, Earnshaw took settlement off the table.
Nate: Oh. Then, you know, we try to convince him to put it back on.
Hardison: Hello. (looking at monitors) Earnshaw just ran a credit check on Alice White.
Parker: Who's Alice White?
Nate: You are!
Sophie: You are!
Eliot: She's gonna buy the jury.
Nate: Not if we steal it first. Who plays chess?
Eliot: I play.
Nate: Yeah, of course you do. A chess game has three stages, right? I mean, you got your opening, middle, and end game. In the opening, you want to take control of the board, and you want to line up your attack and you want to protect the king, which, ironically, is the weakest piece you have.
Hardison: You know this is a trial, right?
Nate:Earnshaw has already overpowered the Vargas defense, and she's buying a juror. Now, that is a fast, aggressive opening gambit, really is. So, we need to break her momentum here. So, Parker, what I need you to do is I need you to-we need to stall the trial. So, you're going to get all of those jurors to trust you.
Nate: Conversation. Compliments. You're gonna be fine.
GM (laying down pictures): And this is Emily. She's the eldest, and her sister Anne. And little Charlotte, she's the baby of the family.
Parker: That one's really cute! What's wrong with that one? It looks like a dog in a baby suit.
(Parker gets awkward looks from GM and Peggy)
Nate:Figure out what her line of attack is. Go digging. Figure out who her pawn on the jury is.
Hardison: I've got financial traces on all the jurors' accounts.
Nate:And if it shows up as cash in a suitcase? Go digging.
(Eliot is in a dumpster while Hardison is on the ground looking through garbage bags)
Eliot: It's your turn to be in the dumpster.
Hardison: No, man, no. I-I have-I have peanut allergies. What if somebody threw in some extra crunchy Skippy? Then, you know, it's just a (wheezing) all up in my vocal area, man. Do you want to give me mouth-to-mouth? No, none of us want that. Hell no.
(Eliot throws a trash bag at Hardison’s head. Hardison looks up, angry)
Eliot: Heads up.
Nate: Sophie, go after her king.
[Live Herbally Offices]
Sophie: Olivia Smithe-Patel, Chief marketing officer of Mumbai international limited.
Quint: Mumbai? Indian?
Sophie: Half. British father, Indian mother.
Quint: Namaste. I'm very spiritual.
Sophie: Your reputation precedes you.
Quint: I have a Zen garden.
Sophie: Mumbai is looking to branch out from prescription medications into the herbal supplement market. We were thinking an acquisition would be the best play.
Quint: You want to buy my company? I'm sorry. I already have another offer.
Sophie: No, what you have is a joke. (hands him a stack of papers) Now you have an offer.
Quint: I retain stock options, control of the company. That's--
Sophie: Much, much better than Earnshaw’s offering you. (writing in Zen garden) Mr. Quint, every CEO of every company that Earnshaw’s bought has been forced into early retirement. As soon as she buys you out, she kicks you out. We'd prefer to keep the man that built this company, honor the spirit that built this house.
Quint: Uh, how much money are we talking?
(Sophie turns the Zen garden around, showing 100,000,000 written in the sand)
Quint: You s-serious?
Sophie: I flew 14,000 kilometers to give you that number.
Quint: It's a very long trip.
Sophie: That's a very long number.
(Hardison is looking through some paperwork)
Hardison: Quint's on the hook. He went to Mumbai international limited's website to check out Sophie.
Nate: It's a real company?
Hardison: Cover story's better that way. Just, uh, changed this... (hits button on remote, which changes a picture on a website) to this.
Nate: Nice. Anything in the garbage?
Hardison: Uh, juror number 1, that's the jury foreman. There's nothing hinky in his finances, but in his garbage, I found an envelope from passport, receipt for two tickets to Fiji, luggage, some of these.
Nate: Yeah, wrappers for US Cash, yeah.
Hardison: Somebody came into cash and just had to count it.
Nate:They've paid off the jury foreman.
Sophie: Okay, today did not go well, but that's all right. You know, we learn when we fail. We're gonna-we're gonna go back to basics, and we're gonna do a little role-playing. Gonna start with-with persuasion techniques. So, Eliot (tosses him an apple) has an apple. Alice (tosses her an orange) has an orange.
Eliot: I love apples. Apples are my favorite fruit.
Parker: Good for you, sparky.
Eliot (to Sophie): I-I don't have to sit here and take this crap.
Sophie: Go on. Just do it for me.
Eliot (to Parker): You have an orange, all right? Now, convince me that I want the orange, not the apple. I'm gonna take a bite. (slowly brings the apple to his mouth and takes a bite)
Parker: I put a razor blade in that apple.
Eliot (spits out the apple): Are you serious?
Parker: Maybe. But do you know what doesn’t have a razor blade in it? This orange. (smells the orange) Don't you want it? (tosses the orange at Eliot and leaves)
Sophie: You fell for that? (exits room)
(Jury is moving into the Jury box)
Parker (to man) Thanks. (to comm) The foreman's the pawn?
Nate: Make him go away, Parker.
(Parker makes her way down the aisle, bumping into and touching people on her way to her seat)
Parker: Sorry. Excuse me. (to GM) Help you? (to Peggy) Excuse me.
Parker: Hey, do you have the time?
Peggy: Mm-hmm. (looks at wrist) Excuse me. Has anyone seen my watch? It was a gift from my grandfather.
GM: My locket! Someone stole my locket!
(Parker squeezes mustard on the foreman’s jacket)
Parker: Oh, my!
Foreman: Aw, geesh!
(jewelry, wallets, and phones fall from the Foreman’s jacket onto the table)
Man: My wallet!
Foreman: I have no idea where that came from.
Parker: He stole our stuff.
(Officer comes in to take the Foreman away)
Foreman: I didn't do that!
(Parker stealing from the jury as she makes her way to her seat)
Parker: Thanks. (runs into man) Sorry. Excuse me. (touches GM’s arm) Help you? (touches Peggy’s wrist) Excuse me. (sits and puts items in basket)
Parker: Somebody else lose a watch? (hands watch to man) There you go.
Peggy: Hey, I know who our new foreman should be.
(Peggy helps Parker into the Foreman’s chair)
Peggy: Here's to the new foreman.
Man: To Alice.
Woman: To Alice.
(camera on the wall of the room sends the image to the warehouse)
Quint (on phone): Jury foreman?
Earnshaw: I know.
Quint: You said it was in the bag!
Earnshaw: Mr. Quint,
Earnshaw: I am who I am today because I know how to turn every failure into a success. I work every angle.
Earnshaw: I anticipate every contingency.
(Earnshaw hangs up. Before Quint can put his phone down, Richards’ phone is ringing)
Earnshaw: Mr. Richards.
Earnshaw: I'd love to talk to you about some exciting retirement opportunities.
Hardison: Where's the Vargas lawyer?
Parker: I have no idea. The bailiff just said he didn't show up.
Sophie: You heard?
Sophie: What happens if the Vargas' lawyer just disappears?
Sophie: But Earnshaw need a win.
Nate: Close enough. Mistrial means they'll have to start all over again. Gloria Vargas can't afford any more lawyers. She'll have to drop the suit. We take a pawn. Earnshaw takes a knight. Lucky for us, we have more than one.
Bailiff: All rise. The Honorable Judge Kelly Durham.
Judge: Be seated. Mrs. Vargas, do you have any idea where your attorney is?
Judge: Mrs. Vargas, I may have no choice but to declare a mistrial.
(doors open and Hardison walks in pulling a rolling briefcase)
Hardison: Forgive my tardiness, your honor. I'll be acting as attorney for the plaintiff.
(Sophie and Nate come in and sit at the back of the courtroom)
Gloria: I don't understand it.
Hardison: I'm Joseph Miller. I'm your new court-appointed attorney.
Gloria: They have court-appointed attorneys for civil lawsuits?
Hardison: Do you trust your government, Ms. Vargas?
Gloria: Why, yes, of course.
Hardison: Then let me handle this.
Sophie: He's never gonna win this case.
Nate: He just has to…
Hardison: May I approach the bench, Your Honor?
Nate: …stall for time long enough for Quint to take your offer.
Judge: Come in up.
(Hardison and Louis approach the bench)
Hardison: Uh, y-your Honor, I don't like to trash-talk, but my predecessor was not as thorough as he could have been when presenting this case. For example, (Places a book on the bench) I, uh - I would like to add some witnesses to the witness list.
Judge: Is - Is that a high school yearbook?
Hardison: Yes, it is. You see, my intent is to show that Ernesto Vargas led an active and very vibrant life, and these 430 people will testify that he did so even as a youth.
Judge: Motion denied.
Hardison: O- Okay. Um... you know, I have photos (places a file on the bench) that I would like to introduce from a vacation, the opposing counsel water-skiing. It's all from his website - very public.
Louis: I object.
Hardison: As well you should. You shouldn't be doing that. Seriously? I mean, he doesn't have the body.
Judge: Counselor, anything else?
Hardison: Uh, actually... (places many more files on the bench)I have quite a few more things.
Peggy: I just feel like he went on and on forever this morning. I'm starving!
Parker: Me too. I could kill for a steak.
Peggy: I thought you were a vegetarian.
Parker: Oh, yeah. I meant a bean steak. A steak made out of beans, held together with soy glue.
Peggy: Alice, we all cheat a little. I mean, I’m a nutritionist, and I spend all day teaching people to eat healthy. But if I have a bad day, I go home and plow into a tub of ice cream.
Parker: Wait! Wait a second. That was a secret. You just told me a secret, right? That's something friends do.
Peggy: Well, I guess so. You're the nicest one here.
Parker: Really? I mean, thanks.
(monitors show Hardison in the court room)
Earnshaw: Who is this guy? I want every frame of this footage analyzed. I want the analysts working overnight.
Quint: I need to ask you something.
Earnshaw: Lunch is almost over. Get back to the trial. (opens folder) Joseph Miller, Georgetown pre-Law, Harvard law with honors! This can't be right. This guy's hourly rate has to be more than what our grieving widow makes in a month.
Assistant: Ma'am, it all checks out. Unless Gloria Vargas found some guy who created a CIA Level cover story and fake identity.
Quint: What's my position after the sale? I-I-I know, after the sale, I have stock, but what am I-what am I doing in the company?
Earnshaw: Making pottery in New Mexico. Whatever you like to do with your free time, Mr. Quint.
Quint: Well, what if I want to stay?
Earnshaw: I have invested millions into Live Herbally. I have invested millions into this trial. Whatever you want is irrelevant.
(Quint stands in the doorway as Sophie approaches)
Quint: Why did you offer me that much money?
Earnshaw: Getting nervous about your trial?
Quint: It's twice what my company's worth.
Earnshaw: Wait. Who's that?
Assistant: The guy talking to the Vargas lawyer?
Earnshaw: No. Her. Raid Quint’s computer, his calendar, his e-mails. Pull out the call logs and the GPS records from his phone. I want to know who that is.
Sophie: India is a very exciting place right now, Mr. Quint. Millions of locals working outsourced American jobs - Telemarketers, customer service - almost exclusively working graveyard shift. Millions of people who desperately need to stay awake. Fastlife would be a sensation in India.
Quint: How many sales are we talking?
Sophie: India has a billion people. All I need is for you to settle your current legal matters. We can't go into business with you with bad press.
Quint: Earnshaw says if we settle, we open ourselves up to other lawsuits.
Sophie: We don't care about more lawsuits. With a billion people in the work force, a few deaths won't raise an eyebrow.
Quint: Government won't crack down?
Sophie: Mr. Quint, it takes five years to get a parking permit.
Quint: Th-this trial's got me pinned down. I-I need to see your operations.
Sophie: Of course. Well, I could, uh… I could arrange a video conference call with our home office. Of course, Mumbai is 12 hours ahead of time, so it'll have to be around midnight tonight. Shall I send a car to pick you up?
(Quint nods and moves away. Hardison and Nate walk into the court room and Sophie passes behind them)
Sophie: Inches away.
Hardison: No, no. No, I-I cannot stall any longer.
Nate: Now, listen, this is the middle game. This is where we trade pieces. We look for weaknesses. You have to buy Sophie a little more time to maneuver.
Hardison: I literally cannot make this slower or any more boring. Okay, y-you know why they say justice wears a blindfold? So you can't see that justice is asleep.
Nate: I am sure there's whole reservoirs of boring you have yet to plumb.
(Hardison puts a slide on an overhead projector)
Hardison: Slide 162. This is-this is good stuff. Dr. Goldfarb, hi. Can you tell us how the chemicals work their way into the neurotransmitters?
Judge (bored): Is this going anywhere, counselor?
Hardison: Oh, I assure you, your honor, the next hundred slides are essential.
(sign has been changed to read Mumbai International Limited)
Donnie (on screens): Mumbai International Limited already has a presence in the urban centers. With Fastlife, We believe we can expand across the entire continent.
(a busy office is seen behind Donnie)
Quint: I have to say, I’m impressed.
Donnie: As we are with you. It's not every day we can do business with someone so enlightened.
Quint: Well, it's not every day I get an offer from someone like Ms. Smithe-Patel.
(Donnie speaks in Hindi to Sophie, who smiles and nods)
Donnie: I think that you'll find us a nurturing corporation to grow with. (looks at watch) You'll pardon me. I'm running late.
Quint: Yes. Thank you for your time.
Sophie: Thank you, Avi.
(connection closes. Sophie walks Quint to the door)
Quint: I need to sleep on it.
Sophie: I'm afraid I can't give you much more time. Settle your lawsuit, Mr. Quint. Then I’m sure we can do business together.
(Quint bows and leaves)
(Donnie is standing in front of a green screen)
Nate: Good. He's good.
Eliot (turns off camera): What I tell you? (hugs Donnie) Thank you for coming in on such short notice, Donnie.
Donnie: Ah, dinna fash yersel, laddie. What are friends for?
Eliot: Exactly. Beer's on me soon.
Donnie: Oh, you remember tha. (exits)
Nate: He's very good.
Eliot: What I tell you?
Parker: Hey. Uh, is this something Alice would wear?
Hardison: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relax. You know what? Quint is gonna call us and settle before we even get to court.
Parker: Oh. I guess Alice wasn't so bad. Her shoes are more comfortable than mine.
Eliot: That's because they're your shoes.
Parker: She likes rainy days.
Nate: Guys. Take a look at this.
Hardison: Are you kidding?
Hardison: I can't believe this.
Eliot: Earnshaw bought Mumbai.
Nate: She's protecting her investment, eliminating the competition.
Parker: We are so screwed.
Sophie: She just spent millions of dollars On a company I don't really work for.
Lawyer (setting down paperwork): Sign here.
Man 1: Do you have any idea what is happening here?
Man 2: Just sign the papers.
(men sign the papers, smiling)
Eliot: How did she even know we were talking a deal?
Sophie: 'Cause they're not just watching the jury room. They're watching Quint.
Hardison: Reading his e-mails, tracing his phone, probably got a few guys on him.
Parker:What are we supposed to do now?
Nate: We win the trial.
Hardison: Wha--I'm sorry. The impossible trial? The trial that can't be won?
Nate: Yep. That one.
Hardison: No, no.
Nate: Come on.
Hardison: Look, you told-You told me all I had to do was stall. I can't win a real jury trial.
Nate: Why not?
Hardison: I'm not a real lawyer! I'm a pretend lawyer.
Nate: Oh, come on, you don't think so-called real lawyers aren't just pretending and trying to be in daddy's shoes? Come on. By the way, the guy you're going up against is getting lines fed to him from someone in a warehouse.
Hardison: Nate, already rested my case, okay? All I have left is my cross-examination of their expert and my closing.
Nate: A jury is 12 people. Just talk to them. You've been doing it your whole life. Just put on your bow tie and ring the doorbell.
Parker: I can't do it. I can't convince a whole jury.
Sophie: We worked on persuasion tactics all week. You did really well.
Parker: Yeah, with you guys. But the people on this jury are normal.
Sophie: There isn't a single normal person on this jury.
Parker: The old lady who knits potholders at lunch isn't normal?
Sophie: The one who keeps showing you pictures of her grandchildren? Have you noticed anything unusual about the photographs?
Sophie: Well, she hasn't seen those grandchildren in years. She's-she's lying to everyone that they're still one big happy family.
Parker: You don't know that.
Sophie: Parker, I read people for a living, that's my thing. Okay, Charlie, the messenger guy, you know, the one with five kids?
Sophie: Bulimic. Trevor, the frat boy, however, yeah, super gay.
Parker: What about Peggy?
Sophie: Actually, Peggy is disgustingly normal. But the rest of them, they all have their own Alice White. You just, you just happened to give yours a name.
(Nate and Sophie stand at the doors. Hardison takes a briefcase from Sophie and shakes Nate’s hand on his way out the door. Parker takes a sack lunch from Sophie and slaps Nate’s hand on her way out the door. Eliot approaches)
Nate: Okay, we don't have court today, but we do have some work to do.
Eliot: Am I gonna like this work?
Nate: Uh, not the first part.
(closes the door)
(Quint gets into his car and pulls away)
Thug: We're following Quint now.
(Thug pulls out to follow Quint but Eliot comes out from between parked cars and Thug hits him. The men get out of the car)
Thug: Dang! (men walk toward Eliot, who is lying on the ground) Where'd this guy come from? (to Eliot) You all right? Man!
(Eliot takes out both men easily, looks around, picks them up and shoves them in the trunk of the car)
Eliot (to comm): Planted the device in Quint’s engine, took care of the guys that Earnshaw sent after Quint. (looking down at phone which shows that it is overloading Quint’s electrical system) And you should have him in... three, two... one.
(Quint gets out of his car and opens the hood, looking down at the engine as Nate pulls up on a bicycle)
(Quint makes a phone call)
Louis: Where the hell are you? I'm close to resting my case.
(Nate is poking around at the engine)
Quint: My car just died. I'll get there when I can. (hangs up) You sure you know what you're doing?
Nate: Are you kidding? I've been off the grid for years. Don't get me wrong. Electric car's a good way to start, but you can make fuel from your own bodily waste. Do you compost? The feeling when-when you close the digestive-to- internal combustion cycle, glorious.
Quint: I called triple "A". You don't have to do this.
Nate: No, it's-it's-it's okay. Here's-Here's your problem right here.
Nate: It's just right here.
Nate: If you just look at that, you'll see where your problem is.
(Quint bends over the engine and Nate takes Quint’s phone from his pocket)
Quint: I'm looking, but I don't know much about cars. I can't see anything at all.
(Nate tosses the phone through the sun roof of Sophie’s car as she’s driving by. She catches it.)
Quint: What is this?
Patemkin: Mr. Vargas had an enlarged aorta, possibly the result of rheumatic fever as a child. This is what caused his heart attack.
Louis: So, in your medical opinion, what role did Fastlife play in Mr. Vargas' death?
Patemkin: It played no role whatsoever.
Louis: No further questions, your honor.
Judge: Your witness, Mr. Miller.
Hardison (to Gloria): I'm-I'm sorry.
Gloria: For what?
Hardison: Me. You deserve better.
Gloria: You're the best lawyer we ever had. Thank you so much.
Judge: We're waiting, Mr. Miller.
Hardison: Right away, your honor. (picks up file) Dr. Patemkin... uh, this is not your first time testifying as an expert, is it?
Patemkin: No, it is not.
Hardison: No, no. In fact, you've testified all across the country - Houston, Chicago, St. Louis. Is that correct?
Hardison: That is, until last year. For the last 12 months, you’ve testified only in the state of California?
Patemkin: That sounds right.
Louis: Objection - Relevance?
Hardison: It goes to his qualifications, your Honor. Now, for this last year, you've only testified in trials that you could drive to.
Patemkin: I wouldn't characterize it like that.
Hardison: I-I-Is that because you're on the US Government's no-Fly, or, as it's more commonly known, the terrorist watch list?
Patemkin: I'm on the list, but I’m not a terrorist.
Hardison: The US Government seems to think so. Why else would they put you on a list with such people as Osama bin Laden, Sheikh Khalid Mohammed?
Patemkin: Look, yes, I’m on the no-Fly--
Hardison: Terrorist - Terrorist.
Patemkin: --no-fly list, but it has nothing to do with terrorism. There was an incident--
Hardison: Oh, incident. Okay. (referring to file) Would that happen to be the incident on flight 732 out of St. Louis, where you-you fondled a flight attendant's buttocks? Or would that happen to be the incident on flight 1433 out of Chicago, where you drank 17 tiny margaritas, you took your pants off, you stood up on the drink cart, and you sang, quote, "I'm a sexy monkey"?
Patemkin: I have no recollection of that.
Hardison: I'm not surprised, because it was not one, it wasn't two, but it was 22 incidents of drunk and belligerent, grab-assy behavior that landed you on that list.
Judge: Mr. Miller.
Hardison: No, you know what, your honor? The US Government has determined that this man is not qualified to ride on an airplane, like Osama bin Laden. How is this jury supposed to rely on him to render a sound medical opinion?
Patemkin: It doesn't--
Hardison: No further questions.
Patemkin: I'm in recovery.
Hardison: We are done.
Judge: You may step down, Dr. Patemkin.
Nate: Sophie, give me an update.
Sophie: I've hit three out of five.
(screens show maps with dots from where Sophie has been)
Nate: Okay, wrap it up. Hardison's about to give his closing statement.
Judge: Mr. Miller.
Hardison: You know, a week ago, you were all strangers. And then the same thing happened to all of you. You got that envelope. You know the one. Comes in the mail, it says "County of los Angeles" on the top. You open it like this "Oh, god" you know. A week passes, you watch the witnesses parade through. You listen to the lawyers argue, suddenly, you're not strangers anymore. Some of you have even made friends. (to Parker) It's not as bad as you thought, right? But then the judge asks you to deliberate. Then you have a moment of doubt. "I'm not a doctor, I’m not a scientist. How can I tell if Ernesto Vargas died from using Fastlife? How-how-how can I be sure?" But that envelope entrusted you with the most important obligation of citizenship, and that is to find the truth. It's so important that we dare not give it to one person but to 12 strangers. Now, all I ask is that you-you go into that room and you work together and you find the truth. I have faith that you'll reach a just decision.
(Hardison walks in, Nate hands him a glass of liquor and they touch glasses)
Hardison: Take it as a compliment. How's Parker doing?
Nate: Let's find out.
(they walk into the conference room where Eliot and Sophie are sitting watching Parker on the monitors)
Nate: Yeah, it's the end game, all on her now.
(Parker looks panicked.
(team is watching the monitors intently)
Earnshaw: It's odd. (picks up a chess piece)
Earnshaw: We take a juror, and our juror gets removed. We take their lawyer. Another lawyer shows up. A company tries to take Quint. I take the company. It's almost... (looks at chess piece) It's ridiculous.
Parker: Okay. Those are my arguments, why I think we should decide, you know? I know I’m just one of you guys, but that's how I feel.
Parker:Why don't we take a poll to see where everyone stands? Who here finds in favor of the defendant, Live Herbally?
(all of the jurors raise their hands. Cheering rings out in the warehouse)
Earnshaw: It's ours! (changes monitor)
Louis: Quint's on his way over, you can tell him the good news.
Earnshaw: We are not going to tell Mr. Quint anything. Do you know why he didn't show up in court today?
Louis: Called me on his cell, said his car broke down.
Earnshaw: I've been tracking Quint via his phone's GPS. He told you his car was dead, but we pinged him visiting several local offices of my top competitors. He was out there searching for a better offer. (Quint walks in) Time to teach Mr. Quint about karma.
Quint: Any news?
Earnshaw: Not yet. Let's talk business.
Quint: Now? Before the verdict? I thought we were gonna wait till after we won.
Earnshaw: This trial has given me new perspective. Now I know that your company does not just have one price. It has three. If you win the trial, your company is worth this much. (points to a number on a page) Ooh, that's a lot of money, assuming, of course, that you can find someone willing to pay it. And that's not going to be Mumbai International Limited, is it?
Earnshaw: If you lose the trial, your company is worth this much. (opens an empty folder) But if you sell to me right now, your company is worth... (puts a third folder in front of Quint) this much. I'm the one taking the risk here. (touches first two folders) Chance. (touches last folder) Certainty. Now, Mr. Quint, I know that you are a spiritual man, just how much do you trust fate?
(Quint signs the contracts in the last folder)
Earnshaw: Mmm. You've made a good decision.
Louis (answers phone): Hello? (hangs up) Jury's back.
(Quint hands Earnshaw the folder)
Earnshaw: Thank you.
(Prosecution and Defense rise as Parker sits down)
Judge: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?
Parker (stands): We have, your honor.
Madam Foreman, please read the verdict.
Parker: In the matter of Gloria Vargas et al Versus Live Herbally Incorporated, the jury finds in favor of... (looks at Gloria) the plaintiff...
Gloria: Oh, my god!
Parker: ...in the amount of $5 million.
(Earnshaw gasps, Quint looks irritated)
Louis: What the hell just happened?
(Earnshaw doesn’t answer. Louis begins gathering his things)
(team is sitting at conference room watching monitors, focus is on monitor 1)
Parker: Who here finds in favor of the defendant, Live Herbally?
(no one raises their hands. Focus moves to monitor 2
Parker: Who wants pizza for lunch?
(everyone raises their hands. Hardison uses his computers to move both sound and image of Parker from monitor 1 to monitor 2)
Parker: Who here finds in favor of the defendant, Live Herbally?
(everyone raises their hands. Hardison uploads the video to the monitors on the warehouse)
Parker: Who here finds in favor of the defendant, Live Herbally?
Earnshaw: It's ours.
Earnshaw (to Quint): You! This is your fault!
Quint: What are you talking about?
Earnshaw: You went looking for a better offer. We tracked you on your cell phone when you had your men beat up my security detail!
Quint: Men? What men? I don't have men. I-I wear sandals. And I haven't been anywhere.
(Sophie in a corporate lobby)
Nate: Sophie, give me an update.
Sophie: I've hit three out of five.
(sends text that the meeting went great)
Man: Do you have an appointment, miss?
Sophie: Um, no. But I was just leaving.
(as Sophie exits we see sign that reads Kenistrom Pharmaceuticals)
(Quint walks out of the court room, passing Sophie)
Sophie: Remember me?
(Quint looks surprised at Sophie’s changed looks)
Sophie: Looks like you should have settled.
(Sophie and Nate walk away. Nate approaches Earnshaw and holds up one of the kings from her chessboard. She is shocked. Nate drops the king and walks away)
Parker: Oh, sweet mercy, cooked flesh. (takes a bite of burger) Can we have fast food every time we make the bad guys go away?
Nate: Did you realize what you just did? What you did? You won a jury trial without cheating.
Hardison: Without chea--I hacked a government no-fly list and used it to humiliate a witness.
Nate: Excessively. "Cheating excessively" is what I meant. But, I mean, think about it, I mean, if you applied yourself, Hardison, you could be anything you want.
Hardison: You know what? I could. I could. You know, next week, I think I’m gonna be an astronaut.
Nate: Well, that's not really what I meant. I meant if you studied, you’d--
Hardison: Yeah, if I--Who needs to study? You know, I’m gonna be a surgeon. A surgeon – ER. Surgeon.
(Parker gets a text and checks her phone)
Parker: Hey, it's Peggy from the trial! She wants to have coffee next week. Alice made a friend.
Eliot: I'm gonna tell you one more time. You made a friend, not Alice.
Parker: Oh, cool. Well, think she'd want to steal a painting with me?
Sophie: Start small, Parker. Try coffee.