(Hurley is driving, eating a sub, and singing along to Irish Punk music. His car is a mess, filled with wrappers, bags and bottles)
Hurley: Love this!
[McTeague Capital Investments]
(Hurley walks into the offices, still eating, heading down the hallways)
Hurley: Hey, J.B., tell the boss I’m going long on oil.
Hurley: Stacey, you got those munis for me?
Stacey: Yes, Mr. Hurley.
Hurley: All right. Hey, Todd, We're gonna need you at that softball game Saturday. Bring the orange socks.
Todd: No problem, Jack.
(Hurley enters his department)
Pam: Jack, Jack.
Hurley: Hey, hey, hey, Pam. You got to help me. I got this song on the radio. It's in my head. (hums)
Pam: No, no, no. Jack, I need to talk to you.
(Pam gestures into an office where Michelle is talking to someone. In Hurley’s office, several men are going through files)
Pam: I had to show them everything.
(Hurley runs from the offices, knocking a man over on his way out)
(Nate and Sophie are in Nate’s office talking to a client)
Nate: Have you told anyone the money went missing?
Michelle: Not even the board of directors. Mr. Ford, those donations were my responsibility. I could go to jail.
Nate: No, that's not gonna happen. Tell us about your money manager. (drinks from pop can)
Michelle: His name's Jack Hurley. Works for one of the biggest firms in town. He said that with the right investments, He could grow our money. He was enthusiastic and sweet, like a big kid. I did my homework. He checked out.
Sophie: So, when did you realize things had gone wrong?
Michelle: We're breaking ground next week on a new food pantry, and I needed to write some checks. Jack's been ducking my calls, so I contacted his boss. And he told me they didn't even have a record of our having an account there. How is that possible?
Nate: It isn't. The company is falsifying its records so it's not on the hook for Hurley’s embezzlement.
Nate: It happens all the time.
Michelle: People trusted me with this money.
Nate: And you trusted Jack Hurley. Michelle, this isn't your fault. It’s important for you to know that.
(Nate walks Michelle to the door of the offices)
Michelle: Please don't take this the wrong way. After what happened with Jack, I have to ask.
Michelle: Why do you do this?
Nate: Same reason you do.
(Nate opens the door and Michelle exits. Sophie joins Nate in the Lobby and picks up his pop can)
Sophie: Bit early for that, isn't it?
Nate: What - What's that? (sees her holding pop can) What does that matter? What does that matter? What matters is this nice woman runs a food bank - you know, that we keep her out of prison. That's what's the matter. Look, this guy is probably halfway around the world already. Let's go.
(Nate , Sophie and Eliot walk in, the others are sitting at the table)
Eliot: She has all the company's monthly statements. Why can't she just sue the firm?
Nate: Yeah, well, have fun with your seven-year lawsuit against a Wall Street firm and your pro bono mall lawyer. Yeah, see how that turns out for you. No, we have to find this Jack Hurley. Hardison.
Hardison (brings info up on monitors: Jack Hurley, money manager for McTeague Capital Investments. Single, no criminal record. He owns a condo in the marina.
Nate: Last seen peeling out of the company driveway yesterday. Where is he?
Hardison: I can tell you where he is not. In my world. He's not on the grid. No online noise at all.
Sophie: He's probably liquidated the charity's money into cash.
Eliot: All right, if that's the case, Then it's gonna be burning a hole in his pocket.
Nate: Okay, well, so, we don't know where he is. We have to figure out where he's been.
Hardison: This is his last credit statement before he disappeared. Uh, bar, bar, strip club. Taco stand. I didn't know they took plastic. Asian massage. I know they take plastic. Bar. Wing spot. Pay-Per-View. This is all Sunday.
Eliot: All right, well, you have any patterns with his movement?
Hardison (brings up map on monitors): That look like a pattern to you?
Parker: It's like Billy from "The Family Circus," If Billy was a drunken sex fiend.
Sophie: Well, look, we're assuming this guy's still in Los Angeles. But you said yourself he could be halfway across the globe.
Hardison: No, his passport wasn't dinged. He’s still in the States.
Parker: Oh, well, that narrows it down.
Nate: Actually, it does. He's an addict, under stress. So he's not gonna be doing a lot of exploring. He's gonna stay well within his comfort zone. He's still in LA. Oh, yeah. All right, we're gonna do this old-school. Ah, Parker, you break into his condo, see what you can find. Sophie and I will hit the retail spots. You guys go to his favorite haunts. But don't spook him, just follow him. Let him lead us to the money.
Hardison: All right?
Eliot (to Hardison): Strip Joint.
Hardison: Mmm. (to Nate) You know, I'm - I'm gonna need change for $100... in singles.
Nate: I'm sorry. What? Y-you think I have 100 singles on me?
(Eliot and Hardison walk out)
Hardison: Bar number 12. You see this place? He's not exactly a velvet-Rope kind of guy, is he?
Eliot: No, he's not.
(Hardison spills his drink on the floor of the car)
Eliot: Look at this guy one more time. (pulls Hurley’s picture from an envelope)
Hardison: Don't get mad, but I may have spilled slushy in your car.
Eliot: That's like 44 ounces, Hardison!
Hardison: It's not that much.
Eliot: The lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man!
Hardison: You are being...
Eliot: It’s running into the backseat.
Hardison: ...very dramatic.
Eliot: All right. When we get back to the office—
Eliot: --you're cleaning this up. You're cleaning this up as soon as we get back.
(Hurley walks out of the bar with a woman, pointing towards a car)
Hardison: That's our guy right there.
Eliot: Don't try to change the subject.
Hardison: No, look, that's our guy.
(Hurley tries to give the woman a set of keys. She refuses them)
Eliot (in comm)All right, Nate, we got Hurley at location number 12. Meet us here to pursue.
(woman walks back into the bar. Hurley stumbles toward the car)
Hardison: This dude, you see him trying to force his keys onto that girl?
Eliot: Yeah. It should be the other way around, huh?
(Hurley gets into the car and starts it)
Eliot: Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. You don't know nothing about that.
Hardison: Really? I almost had it in me to wash this car. Almost.
Eliot: Ten bucks says you're washing the car.
Hardison: I know it ain’t
Eliot: I guaran—
(a car pulls up behind Hurley as he’s backing up, and he hits it. Men get out of the car and run around to where Hurley is getting out of his car)
Man: Get him!
Hurley: …big idea?
Man: Thought we couldn’t find you?
Hurley: Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no, no!
(the men grab Hurley and begin to beat him up)
Hardison: That is not how you exchange insurance information.
(Hardison and Eliot get out of the car)
Man: Where's my money?
(the men hit Hurley several times)
Hurley: No, no, I –
(Eliot and Hardison run over to Hurley’s car. Eliot pulls one man off and throws him at Hardison, who catches him. A second man pulls a gun on Eliot, but loses it quickly. Eliot elbows the second man in the face while Hardison fights the first man. Eliot hits the third man several times, knocking him back. Hurley gets back in the car. Eliot and Hardison continue to fight the three men as Hurley jumps the curb to drive away. He honks the horn and everyone jumps out of the way to avoid being hit. Hardison picks up the fallen gun and holds it up)
Hardison: I got a gun. I got a gun.
Man: All right, man, hey, hey.
(the men back away. Hardison points the gun and shoots. The bullet goes into the engine of the men’s car, disabling it. Eliot pulls Hardison toward their car)
Eliot: Nice job blowing out the engine block.
Hardison: I was aiming for his leg.
(Eliot grabs the gun)
Eliot: Yeah give me the gun, Hardison.
Eliot: Nate, we lost him.
Nate: Don't worry. We found him. He's around the corner from you on Cypress.
(Hurley’s car has impacted with a pole. Nate and Sophie are on one side of the car, Eliot and Hardison on the driver’s side)
Sophie: Is he sleeping?
Hardison: Could be a concussion.
Eliot: No, I’ve had concussions. You don't snore.
(Hurley is sleeping with his head on the blown airbag)
Parker (in back seat): No sign of the money in the car.
Eliot: Wake his ass up, then. (pulls Hurley up) I'll find out where it's at in five minutes.
Nate: Yeah, and what are we gonna do while he sends you on a wild goose chase, huh? Tie him to a chair? No, thanks.
(Eliot slams Hurley’s head back onto the airbag)
Nate: I'm not gonna add kidnapping to my list of crimes.
Parker: Well, what do we do?
Nate: Just got to be smart about this. Run a game on him.
(sirens sound, approaching)
Sophie: What game? In five minutes, he's gonna be in county lockup, and we'll never get near him.
(Eliot, Hardison and Parker pace outside the car restlessly)
Nate: The cops aren't gonna lock him up. Jack Hurley is gonna lock himself up. Guys, come on.
(Hurley continues to snore)
[Second Act Rehabilitation Center, Hurley’s Room]
(Hurley snorts awake and looks around. Nate is sitting at a table in the room)
Hurley: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was in my car. I could swear I hit something.
Nate: Oh, yeah, you hit something, all right. A little thing called rock bottom. Welcome to rehab.
Hurley: Oh, my god.
Dr. Frank (looking at folder): Graduated Cambridge medical college. Winner of the Millworth fellowship for addiction-therapy research. Dr. Tanner, it's not every day we get someone of your stature to consult on our staff.
Sophie: Well, one can't stay locked in the ivory tower of academia forever, doctor. I'm ready to get my hands dirty again.
(Sophie and Dr. Frank walk down a hallway)
Dr. Frank: Second Act doesn't pander to the rich and privileged. It's not about status here. The idea is that we're all equal, So the first thing we do when folks check in is take away all their ties to the outside world, cell phones, PDAs, even their clothes.
Sophie: Breaking the cycle. I agree. Very important.
Dr. Frank: Well, Dr. Tanner, this is our day room. Ready to get your hands dirty?
Sophie: Hello. I'm, uh, I'm Dr. Tanner. I'm gonna be leading this group. Before we get started, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourselves and, um, tell us why you're here.
Marcy: Um, I’m Marcy. I'm here because my mother's a controlling bitch, basically.
Sophie: Huh. Candor. That's a good start, Marcy.
(Sam mumbles incoherently)
Parker: Hi. My name is Rose. I'm a kleptomaniac. My parents are rich, but I shoplift anyway... (looks at notes on her wrist) because I hate myself.
Sophie: Okay, Rose, next time, Why not share that with the group and not the floor? Eye contact is the gateway to communication. Right. Who's next?
Nate: Yeah, I’m Tom, and I like to drink.
Hurley: I'm Jack, and I’m an alcoholic.
Sophie: Thanks, Jack.
Hurley: Also nicotine. The patches, not the cigarettes.
Hurley: Internet porn. Non-Internet, Well, porn, basically. Also compulsive gambling. Compulsive lying. Compulsive eating. Tacos. I got a big taco problem. I think it all stems from my stint as an operative in the CIA in Beirut. Not the tacos, the drinking part. But I tell you something. Somehow in my drunken stupor last night, I stumbled in here and checked myself in. Apparently. So I guess that means I’ve hit rock bottom.
Sophie: Uh-huh. Splendid, Jack. That was, that was very brave. Why don't we, um, go back to tom here?
Nate: Me? Jack here-- go to nick Nolte over here. Why me?
Sophie: Yeah, no, you said you like to drink, but you didn't, you didn't characterize it as a problem.
Nate: Well, 'cause it's not a problem. Drinking relaxes me and helps me focus.
Sophie: Oh, I see. So you like to medicate yourself with alcohol, is that it?
Nate: What are you doing? Listen, doctor, do you know what the definition of "addiction" is? Any compulsive behavior that has a negative impact on your life. So I guess we could say that those $1,500 boots that you're wearing are an addiction.
Sophie: Well, I haven't heard any complaints.
(Sam mumbles coherently)
Sophie: Thanks a lot, Sam. But I don't think that Tom here has actually answered my question.
Nate: Yeah, well, okay, we could talk about my drinking problem, or we could talk about your boot problem. Or we could talk about Jack here, who has a very legitimate, real problem here. He has blackouts. Isn't that why we're here, uh, Dr. Tanner?
Sophie: Fine. Tell us about it, Jack.
Hurley: It's bad. I don't even remember where I parked my car yesterday.
Nate: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I overheard the orderlies say that you totaled it.
Hurley: Ah, that wasn't my car. No, I parked my car somewhere downtown. And I had the receipt in my-in my pocket. And I really need to find that.
Sophie: Okay, good. That was, that was a good start. Does, um, does anyone have anything they'd like to add?
Marcy: 1,500 bucks for boots? You got ripped off, lady.
(Parker is walking through the hallway. She approaches a door and picks the lock. Inside a store room, she opens a box labeled ‘Jack Hurley’ and finds both his keys and a parking receipt. She puts the box back and exits into the hallway)
Dr. Frank: Oh, there you are, Rose. We've been looking for you. Time for your medicine. (holds up a cup with pills in it)
Parker: Medicine? What are you talking about?
Dr. Frank: Well, you've been diagnosed with kleptomania, and in addition to talk therapy, there's a drug protocol.
Parker: No, I don't, I-I don't do drugs.
Dr. Frank (laughs): It's not doing drugs, rose. Antidepressants are taken by 20 million Americans every day to treat a variety of behavioral disorders. It's perfectly safe.
(Parker sniffs at the cup, then takes out the pills and chews them up, showing Dr. Frank her empty mouth after she swallows)
Hardison: Talk to me, baby.
(Hardison hits the lock button on Hurley’s keys and a chirping sound comes from a car on the next level. Eliot points in that direction)
Eliot: Over there.
(they run to the car. Hardison opens the front door, while Eliot looks in the back. The car is a mess of trash and old food)
(Hardison climbs into the driver’s seat and has to put the seat back)
Eliot: Hurley's a big guy, right?
Eliot: So is the parking attendant. Why is the seat so far forward?
Hardison: I think I can pop the trunk without starting the car.
Eliot: Somebody's been in the car.
Hardison: What's your problem?
Eliot: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
(Eliot lies down on the ground and looks under the car. He sees a bomb wired to the car that reads ‘Engaged’. He stands up)
Eliot: Yeah, there's a bomb.
Eliot: Listen, listen.
Hardison: There's a bomb.
(Hardison tries to get out of the car, but Eliot forces him to stay inside)
Eliot: No, stay, stay.
Hardison: No, no, no.
Eliot: Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay!
Hardison: Move! Move, move!
Eliot: Listen to me.
Eliot: It's right underneath the seat. All right? That means it's got to be pressure sensitive. If you move, this thing's gonna go off. Chill.
(Eliot lays back down to look at the bomb)
Hardison: Pressure sensitive? It's pressure sensitive. You sure? Okay. Pressure. Pressure. Okay, um. Eliot, go-go g-get a bag of bricks, right. Bricks, and you put it on the seat at the same time I roll off.
Eliot: That only works in the movies.
Hardison: Bag of bricks is a good, sound plan!
(display on the bomb reads 2 minutes and begins to count down)
Eliot: Yeah, we got two minutes.
Hardison: Two minutes?
Eliot: Shut up! Focus!
Hardison: You start with "the bomb has two minutes!"
Eliot: All right. There's wires running in the dashboard computer. That's probably how it's picking up the pressure sensors in the seat.
Hardison: It-It's, uh, a computer bomb. I-I-I know computers. Computer bomb, um. We-we-we got to reboot the system. Yeah.
Eliot (stands up): You want me to kick it?
Hardison: God, I’m gonna die. No, just, look. (reaches under dash)
Hardison: J-just, no. Duck up under the hood and just tell me how it's attached to the electrical system. (pops hood)
(Eliot walks to the front of the car and lifts the lid)
Eliot: I got it. Man, there's a lot of wires here.
Hardison: Yes, there are a lot of wires. It's a computer. (opens tool) Breathe. Breathe. Okay, um, you know what? (reaches under dash and pulls down wires) Look. What you got to do, man, (starts stripping wires) you got to yank the wires. At the same time, I’ll reboot the system and trick the bomb into thinking it's gone off.
Eliot: What's our margin for error here?
Hardison: About half a second.
Eliot: Run the bag of bricks by me again.
Hardison: You ready?
Hardison: Are you ready?
(Eliot reaches under the hood with a shaking hand and grabs the wires)
(display on bomb reads 17 seconds and counting)
(Hardison touches his wires together at the same time Eliot pulls the wires under the hood. Eliot backs away and Hardison jumps from the car. Nothing happens)
Hardison: Ha! Ha, ha, ha!
(Eliot lays down under the car and pulls off the bomb while Hardison tries to recover his nerves. Eliot shows Hardison the bomb)
Hardison: Don't. Stop. Don't play. (moves away)
Eliot: Where you going? We got to search the car.
Hardison: I'm gonna go and freshen up a little bit. Maybe cry a little.
(a car pulls up with the same men that attacked Hurley at the bar)
Eliot: Old friends.
(another car full of men pull up as the men get out of the first car)
Hardison: And new ones.
(men get out of the second car. Both groups of men approach Eliot and Hardison with guns drawn)
Mexican (in Spanish): Our friends from the bar. (in English) You two, you with Hurley? (points gun at Hardison and Eliot) Where's my money?
Korean (in Korean): That fat bastard stole from them, too? (in English, pointing gun at Hardison and Eliot) You have five seconds to give us our money, or you die.
Mexican: No, no, no, no, no. We're getting our money first.
Hardison: Hey, guys, fellas, fellas, fellas. We are from the same boat, you know? I come from Kingston, Jamaica. I come to collect my money from the bastard Hurley.
Mexican: You think I’m playing with you?
Hardison: Fellas, fellas. We all want the same thing. Okay, let's just be gentlemen about it.
Mexican: Keep counting. I'll put a bullet in your head.
(Eliot begins doing something with the bomb)
Hardison: Hey, we can settle this over a refreshing beverage.
Mexican (points gun at Korean): Say "one," puta!
Hardison: Hey, yo, you a Korean. You a Mexican. Me a Jamaican. Okay. Underneath, we all the same thing.
Eliot: Hold on. (holds up bomb) I got your bomb right here. All right?
Mexican: Never mess with Chileans.
Hardison (to Eliot): You mean there's more guys that want this dude dead?
Eliot: I got it on a one-second delay. That gives me just enough time to get up underneath that truck. Now, maybe I make it. Maybe I don't. But one thing's for certain; you all die. Now, let's just calm down, and let's back away.
(Korean and Mexican look at each other. The Korean tells his men to move away and they get in the car. The Mexican begins to move away)
(the Mexicans get in their car. Both cars drive away)
Hardison: Hey, Eliot, when you said you were gonna dive under that truck, you were gonna drag me with you, right?
Eliot: Sure. (moves back to the car)
Hardison: I'm serious, man. Don't play with me. I'm serious.
(Sophie throws open the curtains, making Nate flinch)
Sophie: Where's Hurley?
Nate: Hurley? I don't know. He's probably leading the codependent wing in a rousing game of Simon says.
Sophie: You look awful.
Nate: Thank you. That's sweet. Do you need something, Soph?
Sophie: Yeah. Eliot and Hardison are on their way over.
(Nate gets up and falls into Sophie, who catches him)
Sophie: Aah! Whoa. You're shaking.
Nate: I know. They have the air-conditioning on so high.
Sophie: You haven't had a drink in 48 hours. This is withdrawal.
Nate: Soph, I’m not in rehab. Pretending.
Sophie: Well, congratulations. You've got me fooled.
Nate: Oh, god.
(Eliot rings a bell)
Receptionists: Can I help you?
Eliot: You sure can. Here to see a patient of yours, Mr. Tom Baker.
Receptionists: What's your relationship?
Receptionists: Second Act has a strict policy. Only family members can see patients. We want to make sure outside influences don't hamper our clients' recoveries.
Eliot: I think that's an excellent policy. I'm Tom's brother. Hi. Mark.
(Eliot kisses the receptionists hand. She looks at Hardison)
Hardison: I'm-I'm with him.
Receptionists: So, you're a friend of…
Hardison: No, no, I am—
(Hardison puts his arm through Eliot’s. Eliot stiffens)
Hardison: I am with him. See, he thinks the flirting makes me jealous, but it doesn't. You know, but if you was, like, Brad Pitt or Denzel or somebody, oh, girl, it would be on, seriously. (rings the bell) Bring your ass. Bring your ass. (pulls Eliot away from the desk)
Nate: So, it wasn't just a charity that Hurley ripped off.
Hardison: It was like the axis of scumbags.
Nate: North Korea is a counterfeiting center. So they must be using Hurley's company to launder their dirty paper.
Eliot: Yeah, well, this Mexican cat had an accent like he was from the Oaxaca region. He's probably Sicario. Hit man for drug cartel.
Nate: Yeah, well, this is great. I mean, the only guy who knows where the money is is a compulsive liar, so...
(Nate is obviously out of sorts, distracted, rubbing his head)
Eliot: You all right?
Nate: Yeah. (sighs, gets up to pace)
Sophie: We've come up blank on the car, the condo, the office. It means someone else is holding the money for him, right? Eliot, we need to learn about the people in his life. So I’ll get the names. I need-I need you two to follow up.
Hardison: What about the gangs?
Nate: We, we still have, you know, an advantage. 'Cause we have Hurley, so...
(later during group session)
Parker: I thought my foster parents just wanted me so they could get money from the state, but now I realize they didn't love each other. They just wanted someone to love them.
Hurley: Like they need you to fill in the gaps for their relationship.
Parker: Exactly. But when that didn't happen, they just withdrew
Parker: Which led me to steal.
Parker: It's all so clear to me now.
Marcy: Wait. Didn't you say your parents were rich?
Parker: Yes. Because underneath their trailer, they found gold.
Sophie: Excuse me. Uh, thank you, Rose. All right, in the, um, five minutes that we have left, I'd like to talk about the healing power of apology.
Sam: Oh, thank god.
(Sam speaks incoherently. Only Hurley and Parker seem to understand him)
Nate: Yeah. Why don't you speak?
Sophie: Thank you, Sam. That was, that was touching. And it's very big of you. All right, let's go around the room. Who, who wants to start? (Hurley raises his hand) Tom?
Sophie: Tom, who-who do you think you might have hurt with your drinking?
Nate: Oh, Jesus, here we go again.
Sophie: Aren't you ready to say sorry to them?
Nate: He said-he had his hand up. I don't, listen, I don't think I need to apologize for drinking. I need to apologize maybe for not drinking. Maybe I’m a bigger bastard sober than I am drunk, huh?
Marcy: If this is you sober, hell yeah.
Nate: Thank you, Marcy. Shoo!
Sophie: I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in you, Tom. I thought you'd set a better example for Jack here. I'm sure he has a few people he'd like to say sorry to.
Hurley: More than a few.
Sophie (to Nate): Maybe they've had to shoulder some of his responsibilities. Maybe he's burdened them in some way.
(Hurley puts his head in his hands)
Sophie: Jack, look at me. I want you to take this pad and… and write a list of all these people and go away and call them, apologize to them, relieve them of their burdens and-and yours.
Hurley: That's a good idea.
(Hurley gets up and moves away)
(Eliot walks out, followed by a waitress and Hardison)
Waitress: He just called, actually. Sounded kind of rough.
Eliot: Yeah, well, we saw how he was treating you at the bar the other day, and ah…
Waitress: Oh, that. No. He wasn't harassing me. He bought me a car. He was just trying to convince me to take it.
Hardison: He bought you a car?
Waitress: Mine broke down. Jack was just trying to help.
Eliot: Thank you for your time. (shakes her hand)
Waitress: Sure. (shakes Hardison’s hand)Bye.
(Hardison and Eliot walk toward the car and get in)
Eliot: Well, that's a dead end. Who's next on the list?
Hardison (checks GPS on car): A stripper at Gary’s Hideaway.
Hardison: He's not all bad. He did give some of the money to people in need.
Eliot: You ever notice how all bad guys know at least one stripper?
Sophie (answering phone): Hello?
Hardison: And you know at least a hundred, so what does that say about you?
Eliot: Hey, I’m a bad guy.
Sophie: I'll be right there. (hangs up and picks up her purse)
Eliot: What? What's wrong?
Sophie: It's the rehab center. He tried to go over the wall.
Dr. Frank: I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Tanner. But I checked your notes. He seems like a deeply troubled man. Do you want us to restrain him?
Sophie: No. Sorry. Um, no, that won't be necessary.
(Nate is sitting in a chair with two orderlies watching him closely)
Sophie: Are you ready to go back to your room now?
(Nate simply looks at her)
(Nate follows Sophie through the hall, an orderly trailing behind. Hurly is on the phone as they walk by)
Hurley: Anyway, Pam, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for all those times you had to pick me up in the middle of the night when I couldn't drive. I don't deserve you.
Pam: You listen to the doctors and get better, okay?
[McTeague Capital Investments]
(Pam is standing in Hurley’s office while a man is going through some files)
Pam: Yes, I forgive you. Bye. (hangs up) I'm sorry. What branch of the SEC did you say you were from?
Korean: San Francisco office. Now, did Mr. Hurley happen to mention which facility he was at?
(Nate puts on a robe and paces)
Nate: I’m fine.
Sophie: You tried to scale a wall with a mop and a bed sheet.
Nate (yells): I've been-I've been locked up with the guy 24-7! I mean, you know, you'd want to get out, too. I just, I needed to get a little air. It was nothing.
Sophie: You needed a drink.
Nate: More than one.
Sophie: We're in the middle of a con. What the hell were you thinking, Nate?
Nate: Just-just tell me about our guy. What do we know about Hurley?
Sophie: We need to talk about this.
Nate (angry): No, we don't need to talk. You need to talk. I'm fine. Now, just read me in.
Sophie: You have a problem.
Nate: Sophie, you want to help me? You really, really want to help me? In the name of god, give me something to do. Please, just give me something to do.
Sophie: All right. Um... It turns out that Hurley's not as bad as we thought. He spends as much time and money helping others as he does feeding his addictions.
Nate: Define helping.
Sophie: Uh, random acts of kindness. He tried to buy some waitress a car, paid for some woman's college tuition. There's more to this guy than we thought.
Nate: He stole from a charity. Come on, what more do you need to--
Sophie: Yeah, I’m not saying we should pat him on the back or anything.
Nate: Listen, the guy, okay, he's an addict. You know, he's-he knows how to manipulate people. My father was an addict, my grandfather. I know how these people operate.
Sophie: I'm just gonna let you think about that for a minute.
(Nate looks down and sighs. Sophie leaves the room. Nate looks out the window)
Sterling: I like this character. He feels more real than the others.
Sterling: Company sent me. They're worried about you. A place like this isn't cheap. We wanted to take care of your bill.
Nate: Is this a joke?
Sterling: Treating your son's cancer, that's something we wouldn't pay for. That's money down a rat hole. But you, drinking yourself to death? That's covered. With a small deductible, of course.
(Nate tries to punch Sterling but the punch goes into the wall)
Nate (bends over in pain): Aah. Aah!
Sterling (lying on bed): First step is admitting you're powerless. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think you're there yet.
Nate: Get out!
(Nate runs at the bed but when he gets there, Sterling is gone)
Sterling: You know how to get rid of me. (Sterling is sitting in a chair, fingering a glass of liquor) But that would violate all 12 steps, wouldn't it?
(Sterling is gone, but the glass remains. Nate looks at it intensely, breathing hard, then closes his eyes and rubs them)
(the other members of the group are playing charades while Nate is sitting in a corner watching. Voices are distorted as they try to guess what Hurley is pantomiming.
Parker: Four Squared
Parker: Picking a lock! You’re picking a lock! You’re picking God!
Marcy: Knocking on Heaven’s Door
(everyone jumps up and cheers)
(Nate slams Hurley up against a wall)
Nate: Where's the money?
Hurley: I-I-I don't have anything. They took my wallet when I came in. Are you okay, Tom? You're not thinking about breaking out again, are you?
(Nate throws Hurley down on the bed)
Nate: Stop with the jokes and the pandering and pretending you care about people. It might work on other people. It doesn't work on me. I can see right through it. Come on.
Hurley: You need a little step five.
(Hurley tries to hug Nate but Nate pushes him back on the bed)
Nate: Shut up!
Hurley: What do you want from me?
Nate: The truth!
Hurley: Okay! Okay! I was never in Beirut.
(Nate moves to attack again)
Hurley: Wait! You want to know why I’m in here? My wife left me, okay. That's when everything changed.
(Nate closes the door)
(Koreans are checking in every room)
Korean: Check every hall, along with every room.
Nate: It wasn't just scumbags you took money from, was it? Was it?
Hurley: All right! All right! I stole from a charity!
Hurley: But it's-it's not what you think. It-it was gonna be my big fix. Michelle is this woman that works for a food bank. Only she doesn't do it for some high like me. She does it 'cause she's actually a good person. I wanted to help her. So I cleaned out her account. With the tricks I’ve learned, I can quadruple her money.
(Koreans are still looking in every room, moving down the hallway. Parker walks down the hall from the opposite direction, dancing a little. She bumps into one of the men and smiles, then stops and looks down at what is in her hand. She turns to look at the men then heads down the hall)
Nate: You were gonna give the money back? You were?
Hurley: Tell me something, Tom. Lying, cheating, stealing, if you're doing it to help someone, doesn't that make it okay?
(Parker walks into the room looking troubled and holding her hands behind her back)
Nate: What's wrong?
Parker: I didn't mean to. It was just instinct. (shows Nate a gun)
Parker: I accidentally stole it from the man in the hall.
Nate: Okay, we got to get out of here.
Nate (pulls Hurley toward the door): Come on.
(Koreans are talking and pointing in the other direction when Nate sticks his head out the door. He pushes Hurley out so he can see them)
Hurley: We got to get out of here.
Parker: Okay, Parker, get into the air vent, out to the front gate.
Parker: No, I feel like I’m making real progress here.
Nate (puts his hands on her shoulders): Listen, I need you to focus, okay?
(Parker smiles and looks down at Nate’s arms)
Parker: You don't usually touch me, or any of us, really. It's the hole in your heart, Tom. It doesn't allow you to get close to people.
Hurley: She's right.
(Nate picks up the gun and shoots the alarm on the window)
Nate: Let's go.
(Nate and Hurley open the window and climb out. The window closes, leaving Parker inside)
(Sophie, Eliot and Hardison are gathered around a conference phone)
Nate: Hurley says the money's in his car.
Eliot: Impossible. We searched every inch of that thing.
Nate: Apparently not every inch.
Sophie: How did you break him?
Nate: Uh, well, um...
(Nate is standing at a pay phone. Behind him, Hurley is sitting at a table eating tacos)
Sophie: You took him out for tacos?
Nate, you're enabling him.
Hardison: Whoa, whoa.
Hardison: I haven't slept in three days. I had a showdown with two different gangs—
(Nate leans on the pay phone)
Hardison: --who now, by the way, know my face. I sat on a bomb.
Hardison: And all this could've been avoided had you gave the man a taco?
Eliot: Why are we even helping this guy, huh? Why don't we just turn him over to the cops?
Nate: All right, listen to me, guys, I'm not saying we throw him a parade.
Nate: But if we don't help him, he's gonna be dead by the end of the day.
Hardison: So, what's the plan?
(the Mexicans and Koreans are waiting near Hurley’s car when Nate and Hurley pull up. Everyone gets out of the cars, the gang members holding guns)
Hurley: Oh, god.
Nate: Don't worry. They're not gonna kill you until after they get the cash.
Mexican: You come empty-Handed? You said you had the money.
Korean: Where is it?
Hurley: I-I've got it. I-I-I swear. It's just gonna take me a second to get it.
(Hurley gestures toward the car. The Mexican points at the car and nods. Hurley walks toward the car)
(everyone follows Hurley toward the car. Hurley gets in and closes the door)
Hurley: Hey, does anyone else hear that beeping noise?
Hurley (opens car door): I think I’m just gonna--
Mexican: Wait! (gestures to one of his men) Andale.
(the man lays down next to car, looking under it. A bomb is fastened to the underside, the display reads 32 seconds and counting)
Man: La bomba!
Hurley: What did he say?
Nate: It sounded like bomb. Yeah, don't move.
Man: La bomba regresa!]
(the man shouts in Mexican, and the gangs move away from the car)
Man: Trienta segundos! Trienta segundos!
Hurley: 30 seconds? I didn't want to know that. Why didn't I take German in school?
Nate: Okay, just shut up for a second.
Hurley: No, we don't have a second! You got to get out of here.
Nate (grabs Hurley’s arm): Come on, come on.
Hurley (pushes Nate away): Go, go, go, go! Get out!
(Hurley grabs the steering wheel and braces himself. Nate runs away from the car. The gang members watch the car anxiously from a distance. The car explodes throwing everyone to the ground)
Mexican (to Korean): Chileans?
Korean: Jamaicans. They must've figured out where the money was, wanted to keep it all for themselves. That's what I would do.
Mexican: My boss will not be pleased. (to men) Vamos!
(a burning tire rolls past Nate. The gang members get in their cars and drive away. Nate stands up. Sophie and Hardison join him)
Sophie: You okay?
Nate: Yeah, I wasn't expecting a, uh, explosion that big.
Hardison: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. That's what happens when you use other people's equipment.
Nate: Okay, what did you guys do with the Chileans' bomb once you disarmed it?
Hardison: Uh... why?
(Eliot is on a creeper under Hurley’s car, attaching the bomb. He gestures to Hardison, who raises the antenna on a remote)
Hardison: Just glad it wasn't me in that car this time.
Nate: How's our boy? (Hurley walks up) Oh, hey, Hurley. How you doing?
Hurley: I- I'm not entirely sure what just happened.
(Hurley pushes Nate away from the car)
Hurley: Go, go!
(Hurley looks down to see Sophie being pulled from beneath his car on a creeper)
Hurley: Dr. Tanner?
Sophie: Hurley, jump on. Let's go. Now!
(Sophie is pulled away, but another creeper comes out from beneath the car. Hurley gets out of the car. Eliot is pulling on the rope from behind another car. Hurley is pulled away to safety. Eliot covers Sophie)
Eliot: Keep your head down. Keep your head down.
Hurley: Y-you and Tom worked together to help me?
Sophie: That's right.
Hurley: You must really care about me. I mean, for you guys to work together. You don't even like each other.
Sophie: Oh, well, well, actually, you know, he and I—
Nate: We-we get along just fine. Sometimes, you know, in the heat of the moment in therapy, you know, you say things you don't mean.
Sophie: You mean what you say.
Nate: Water under the bridge anyhow.
Hardison: Hurley, that was a pretty wild ride, right?
Eliot: Yeah, except for the wild goose chase you sent us on. And I checked every inch of that car. There's no money.
(Eliot rolls a still smoking tire along the pavement)
(Eliot blows out the fire on the tire and puts it onto a car hood)
Hurley: Steel-Belted radials.
(Eliot pulls a knife and cuts open the tire, revealing the inside full of money)
Hurley: What do you think?
(Eliot hands Hardison a handful of mone)
Sophie: I think you might have a knack for this.
(Hurley opens a bag full of money and hands it to Michelle)
Hurley: Sorry about the rubber smell. It should go away after a while.
Michelle (hugs Nate): Thank you so much. (hugs Sophie) You have no idea how many people this is going to help.
Nate: Um, just -
Sophie: I'll, um, zip that up, and then I’ll see you out.
Nate: Just-just take the win. Take the win. (grabs an envelope from Hardison and hands it to Hurley) Here you go.
Hurley: What's this?
Nate: That's your new identity. It's a driver's license, a passport, birth certificate.
Hardison: Your library card, Netflix membership, Sam’s club. Oh, I got you three months free at 24-Hour fitness. Maybe work off some of those tacos.
Hurley: You guys didn't have to do all this.
Nate: Yeah, well, actually, uh, we did. Uh, Jack Hurley is dead. We killed him. So this is your chance to kind of start over.
Hurley: Wow. Hey, d-do you think Michelle will forgive me when she gets the payout from my life-insurance policy?
Nate: Yeah, why don't we just, uh, go with the win? (escorts him toward the door) We're giving you a second chance, so don't screw it up. If you do, I promise we'll know. (hands Hurley tickets) Train ticket.
Hurley: Don't worry about me.
Hurley: I'm playing it straight from now on. In fact, as soon as I get to, uh... (looks at ticket) Rosarito, I’m gonna find the nearest support group. I promise. Thanks for everything, Tom. (shakes hand)
Nate: All right.
Hurley: And, hey, if you ever need a sponsor, I am totally there for you, man. All right? Let's-
(Hurley goes to hug Nate, but he shies away)
Nate: I'll keep that in mind.
(Hurley goes to hug Hardison, but he shies away)
Hurley: All right. See you guys. (leaves)
Nate: Okay. So, we have one more piece of business left to do, right?
Marcy: Um... is this supposed to be a movie set or something?
(Parker is drawing on a board)
Sam: I don't think she gets this game.
(Parker circles the painting, pointing to an area of the floorplan)
Sophie: Cairo Museum, the antiquities floor.
Parker: Finally! This is the alarm room right here.
Dr. Frank: You're sure this is for the best?
Sophie: Absolutely. Second Act isn't the right place for her.
(Parker smells marker. Sam comes and takes it away from her)
Sophie: No, she needs to be around people who better understand the issues she's struggling with. People more like her.
[Exterior Second Act]
(Parker walks out of the building, laughing)
Parker: Hi. (runs up to the group, who are waiting for her) Hey! I missed you guys!
(Parker throws her bag at Nate and jumps into Eliot’s arms)
Eliot: Oh! (to Sophie) When do the happy pills wear off?
Nate: Usually about 24 hours.
Parker (hugging Hardison): I missed you.
Hardison: That's too bad. I kind of like this Parker.
(Parker puts an arm around both Eliot and Hardison and they start walking away)
Nate: Uh, Eliot?
(Nate throws Parker’s bag, Eliot catches it)
Sophie: Ready to finish what you started?
Nate (laughs): I'm ready for a drink.
(Nate walks away to join the others at the car. Sophie follows them)