Madavhi is typing on a keyboard. Many Iranian cultural items are on display. Men break down the door. Madavhi attempts to shut his computer down but they come and drag him away)
Madavhi: Not my work!
(one of the men uses a tool on the computer to wipe everything)
Madavhi: Aah! No! My work!
(the man wiping the computer heads for the door)
Madavhi: Not my work! Not my work!
(the man holding Madavhi spins him around and punches him, knocking him to the floor, then leaves)
Madavhi: All my work, erased, and I was only days away from cracking Manticore.
Nate: What's "Manticore"?
Madavhi: It's an electronic surveillance system. The Iranian government uses it to track protesters over cell phones, social networks, even e-mail.
Hardison: Yeah, hacker underground's flipping out about it. They use GPS to pinpoint a dissident, and then they swoop in and make the arrest.
Madavhi: The Internet made this protest possible, but now it's just a –
Nate: A liability? The government uses the people's weapon against them.
Madavhi: Precisely. I cannot even communicate with my family in Iran. Manticore would find them. I have no idea if they are safe. And the secret police are everywhere. Next week, our people are planning a protest to coincide with the election. If I can't shut down Manticore, the government will find and arrest every organizer and break the backbone of the movement.
Nate: We're not spy hunters, Mr. Madavhi.
Madavhi: I cannot go to the FBI. My activities would violate my student visa.
Nate: So you want your data back.
Madavhi: I want Manticore destroyed. I want my people to be free.
Nate: All right, well, we'll, uh, we'll discuss it.
(Madavhi nods and leaves)
Hardison: "Discuss it"?
Nate: Oh, this is so not our game, Hardison.
Hardison: Not our g-- Nate, this isn't just some hacker, okay? Cyrus--
Nate: "Cyrus"? It's "Mr. Madavhi." You can't get that attached.
Hardison: Fine. "Mr. Madavhi." He could go make a fortune working for Google or Microsoft. No, instead he risks his life fighting the bad guys. This is so our game.
Eliot (at the table behind them): He wasn't hit by the Vezarat. (comes around to sit with Hardison and Nate)
Nate: What, are you lurking?
Eliot: Yeah. I'm a lurker. It's my thing.
Hardison: What's the Vezarat?
Eliot: That's the Iranian secret police. And trust me, if they wanted Cyrus, he wouldn't be sitting here talking to us.
Nate: But the Vezarat is still our logical target. So we should check our sources and see if there's a safe house in the area.
Hardison: So we're on this?
Nate: Yeah, well, we were always on this. I just wanted you to explain to me why. (gets up and heads for the Poker Room)
Hardison: You know how I feel about Mind games, Nate. Negatively. What are you looking at, lurker?
Eliot: My sources say this cafe is the local Vezarat safe house.
(Eliot and Hardison enter the restaurant)
Eliot: Every year, every single year in Dallas, they're gonna win. Every time. How you doing?
Vezarat Leader: Yes. All right.
Eliot: Lloyd hickey, Boston health department. Spot inspection.
Vezarat Leader: We were just inspected. Everything is in order here.
(the Vezarat Leader says something in Iranian to a man in the back, who locks a door)
Sophie (screams): There's a roach in my shish leek!
Hardison: Uh- huh. Uh- huh. Roach infestation in the shish leek. That's gonna cost you.
Eliot: That's gonna cost you.
Hardison: Well, yeah- huh. Let's, uh, have a look at that kitchen, shall we? (follows the owner into the kitchen)
Eliot: Back room, East corner.
Parker: Got it.
Sophie: Eliot. Eliot, get rid of it. Ugh!
Eliot: I think he likes you.
Sophie (stands): You're gonna pay for this.
Hardison: Hey, uh, we are gonna actually need to talk to all of your employees. This young fellow, you, sir, you…
Eliot: All the employees.
Hardison: The young bucktooth chap in the back.
(Parker moves up to a vent through the ductwork)
Parker: At the East corner. (pushes vent out and enters the room) For a den of evil spies, this place smells delicious. Hardison, confiscate some pastries. (sits down at computer) Okay, no sign of Cyrus' hardware.
Nate: Well, they could have cloned his data. Let's check their computer.
(Parker plugs in a flash drive and sits down)
(Eliot puts a temperature probe into a piece of meat and waits a moment, then looks at Hardison)
Hardison: Mnh- mnh.
Eliot: No. This schwarma is lukewarm! Unh- unh.
Hardison: Wow, that's gonna cost you 5 points. That's unacceptable.
Eliot: That's gonna cost you.
Hardison: No, it's horrible. What, are you –
(Eliot moves further into the kitchen as Hardison looks at his laptop)
Hardison: There's nothing on Manticore. I'm starting a syntax search.
Nate: That image on the, uh, the bottom left, there, "Manticore." Um, it's a mythological creature. It's Persian for "Man-eater."
Hardison: Y-yeah, yeah, I was, I was just about to click on that. What are you?
Nate: Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, right. Sure. Okay.
Nate: Let's, uh, copy Cyrus' program.
Hardison: You know, I'd love to, but it's not here. It doesn't even look like they even heard of Cyrus.
(Parker is going through drawers and pulls out a book with a picture of a manticore on it. She flips through the pages)
Parker: Okay, I've got payment records here. Last one dated three weeks ago.
(Eliot pulls a man’s hand from some dishwater)
Eliot: Those look like clean hands to you? Smell 'em. I got to dock ya!
Hardison (checking computer): The latest Manticore update was also three weeks ago.
Nate: And who was that payment to?
(Hardison checks computer and whistles)
Hardison: Larry Duberman, founder and C.E.O. of Dubertech. Back in the '90s, he wrote the book on digital database security. Literally wrote the book.
(Hardison holds up the book while at the counter, Eliot sets down a tea tray and pours Sophie a cup)
Hardison: Now, he made a couple hundred million during the, uh, digital revolution.
Sophie: Why would Larry Duberman be selling software to Iran? I mean, he doesn't need the money. (to Eliot as she touches his arm) Thanks, sugar.
Hardison: Oh, but he does. Cloud storage, distributed processing, see, all these sexy new little technologies are passing up Duberman's company. They're leaving him in the dust. He's got to expand his market share.
Nate: Okay, so he sells the technology to embargoed countries, and the income is tax- free?
(Eliot adds sugar to Sophie’s tea)
Sophie: It's a nice way to keep the bottom line from being squeezed.
Hardison: Now, Duberman has a long- term contract to run Manticore for Iran. This man has become the I.T. Department for the axis of evil.
Nate: All right, so Eliot was right. The Vezarat didn't go after Cyrus, Duberman did.
Eliot: It's not about politics, man. Cyrus is bad business for him. (squeezes lemon into Sohpie’s tea)
Nate: Okay, well, so, Duberman's our target. What are we up against?
Hardison: See, the master control server's in Duberman's private office. We shut down the server over here, We shut down Manticore over there.
Eliot: So, get to hacking, man.
Hardison: Dude, what is it about “Wrote the book on database security" that you don't comprehend? I can't just access Manticore remotely we've got to get to that server in person.
Nate: Any of you ever trimmed a bonsai?
Eliot: Well, you know, I did. I was in Osaka, and I met this Japanese policewoman at a geisha bar....
Nate: Ah, another time. (hits remote)
Parker (to Sophie): Why is Eliot pouring your tea? Hmm? Did you brainwash him again?
Sophie: Mm, neurolinguistic programming. It's amazing what you can do with the power of suggestion. "Sugar." "Squeezed. " a few strategic pats on the arm.
(Sophie pats Eliot on the arm and he pours her more tea, then realizes what Sophie has done)
Eliot: Damn it!
Sophie: You owe me for that roach business!
Eliot: Sophie, not again. (walks away)
Sloane: These quarterly results aren't exactly what we'd hoped.
Duberman: Fine. We'll just raise the price for our Persian friends.
Sloane: Sir, are you sure that's wise?
Duberman: Where else are they gonna go? McAfee? Oracle? No, they're too soft to get into the suppression business. No, no, if the Iranians want to hold on to power, they have to pay me. That's what I call a good business model.
(Eliot bumps into Duberman, who grabs the Bonsai Eliot was carrying and throws it on the floor)
Duberman: Oh! Watch it!
Eliot: Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Duberman: Sloane, fire this idiot!
Eliot: I'm sorry.
Duberman: A- actually, wait. (to Eliot) You are fired.
(Sloane grabs Eliot and pulls him to the door. Eliot places a bug on Sloan’s collar)
Eliot: Easy, Mr. Hands. Easy.
Parker: All right. We've got this, Mr. Duberman.
Duberman: Yes, you, you do! Now, I- I want this pristine when I get back from lunch!
(Hardison begins to pick up the Bonsai. Parker hands him Duberman’s security card, then pulls out a piece of tape to take fingerprints from the Bonsai’s pot. Parker and Hardison go upstairs in the building to Duberman’s office. They use Duberman’s key code and the print Parker lifted to get into the room)
(the décor of the room is completely different from that of the hallway)
Hardison: Seems we stepped out of Japan and straight into high school.
Parker: In 1985.
(Nate and Sophie watch a video feed of Duberman’s office)
Nate: You find the server running Manticore?
Hardison: Oh, I found it. A small problem. Nate, he's running Manticore from his high- school computer.
(Hardison picks up a 5-1/2” floppy, then looks hooks up wires to the computer as Parker searches the rest of the room)
Hardison: Vintage 1980s technology, man. No wonder I couldn't hack in from the outside. It's speaking a dead language.
(Security guard points to something on the monitors)
Sloane: Mr. Duberman left for lunch. Possible breach! Repeat, possible breach!
Parker: Hey, they're onto us. What's the deal?
Hardison: Well, he's got a multi- tier password system. Now, my war- dialer broke into the first few. Uh..."Zavransky," "MandyDD," a bunch of other random ones.
(Parker comes over to look and the computer beeps)
Parker: Was that a good beep or a bad beep?
Hardison: Oh, that's a bad beep. We just hit a wall.
Nate: You didn't get the password?
Hardison: Not the master one. The last one I got is... L33r15l06.
(Nate and Sophie) High school.
(Sloan leads several guards upstairs)
Parker: Let's go!
Hardison: Hold on, let me just finish copying this disk. How did people get anything done in the '80s?
(Sloan and the guards approach Duberman’s office to find the door open. Behind them, Hardison and Parker dressed in the Chinese outfits on display exit the area)
Eliot: Nobody else thinks it's weird that you can just buy anybody's yearbook online?
Hardison: You know, it's real cute, man, how you still believe in privacy.
Nate: Here we go. Uh, Mrs. Zavransky, math teacher. Now, I bet if we turn to the cheerleaders... (turns page) Yes. Oh, Mandy. Mandy Babson.
Parker: What does the "DD" Mean?
Hardison: Yeah, right. Two scoops of ice cream, just perfect.
Nate: Come on, it's, uh, it was the last password that tipped us off, L33r15l06. Now, that has to be a locker combination, right? He's clearly, he's obsessed with high school, memorabilia, his high school computer.
Sophie: Yeah, he's a classic computer nerd. Sorry. Yeah, the girls totally ignored him. The guys picked on him. Now that he's a success, he, he can't leave the past behind him.
Nate: Yeah, he has to remember who he was 'cause it made him who he is.
Parker: Aw, I feel bad for the nerd.
Eliot: Don't feel bad for this guy. Getting bullied in high school Is still no excuse for propping up dictators. He got bulled his whole high-school career. He's not criminal.
Parker: Yeah, he is.
Sophie: Don't think about that.
Eliot: Not a bad criminal.
Hardison: Hey, what makes you think I got bullied in high school?
Eliot: Well, "A," You got a green hornet doll.
Hardison: Well, first of all, it's a limited-edition action figure. Second, it is green lantern. Educate yourself.
Hardison: Now pay attention. Get it right.
Nate: Guys, wait, wait. Listen, listen. We got a locker combination, we have a teacher's name, and we have a crush. So, Duberman, he has made his old high school his Roman room.
Parker: Of course.
Nate: "Of course"? What's a Roman room? You have no idea, right? You know—
Nate: You don't have any idea? It's a, it's a memory technique. Each of his passwords corresponds to an object in a space that he's intimately familiar with. In his case, the hallway of his old high school where he kept his locker. Now, if I were to make this bar my Roman room, everything I need to remember is right here. For instance, This, uh... My bank password would be "Balmoor." And my e- mail password would be Fitzy, here.
Parker: Hey. Nate just gave us his passwords.
Hardison: No, but I got all his passwords. You want to see his Netflix queue? He's got, like, every season of "Rockford files" every season of "Sex and the city," That show "Psych."
Nate: Hey, so, so, listen, if we can't get into the main server without Duberman's master password. I mean, you can't hack into that, right?
Hardison: No, password's up in the guy's head. I can't hack a guy's head.
Nate: So the only option would be to break inside his Roman room.
Parker: You want to break into the high school? I could do that blindfolded. Yeah let's do it blindfolded.
Nate: No, no, no. What we're gonna do is we're gonna break into that high school 25 years ago.
Hardison: What do you know? Class of '85 has a reunion coming up in 8 months.
Sophie (high voice): Oh, hi. Edna Kasendorf? With the class of '85 alumni committee? Boy, am I glad I reached you. It's Sharon Wing from Radford high. (low voice) Sharon, how are ya? It's Edna Kasendorf. From the alumni committee. Do I have some bad news. (high voice) The gym's being renovated in the fall, and it's gonna be a total shambles when it's time for the reunion. (low voice) The gym available on the 28th? Our most prominent alum, Larry Duberman, yes, that Larry Duberman, insists the reunion happens this month. (high voice) Oh, don't hate me, this month? Say, the 28th? (low voice) No. Thank you! You're a doll. I'm gonna send you a box load of crullahs.
Vezarat Leader: Impossible! That is more than double what we agreed to pay for the upgrade.
Duberman: Yeah, well, if you'd rather have your homegrown dweeb squad Administer Manticore, be my guest. Though we both know they can barely send an e-vite.
(Vezarat Leader speaks Iranian)
Sloane (answers phone): Yes? (to Duberman) Your high- school alumni committee?
Duberman: I'll let you gentlemen discuss this. But know that, when we meet, you can either deliver the money, or I can turn over certain sensitive information to the FBI. They're clients, too. (ends videoconference and takes phone) Larry Duberman. A reunion? Uh- huh. The 28th? Well, I certainly appreciate the personal invitation, but I don't know that I-- Who else is coming?
Sophie (looking at yearbook): Oh, well, uh, uh, Mandy Babson, of course. You remember her? And, uh, Danny Stoltz. Uh, Jennifer Jakubowski. Uh, Emily Weston. Uh, Drake McIntyre.
Duberman: Really? They'll all be there? Well, then, I wouldn't miss it for the world!
Duberman: Okay. Bye- bye.
Sloane (hangs up phone): Sir, your meeting with the Iranians is the 28th.
Duberman: Sloane, I've spoken at Davos, I've met presidents and prime ministers. I've got a yacht with a squash court. But what's the meaning of any of that if I can't rub it in their faces?
[High School Gym]
(Parker sets up a video camera and walks past a board of photos)
Parker: So many awkward people in so many ugly outfits.
Hardison: Yeah, you're lucky you never went to high school. Nothing but heartbreak and homework.
[High School Gym]
Parker: Didn't you go to your prom?
Hardison: Uh...I was kind of busy.
(a teenaged Hardison is sitting at a computer making a transfer from the Bank of Iceland)
Hardison: Looks like the Bank of Iceland's paying off Nana's medical bills. That's dope!
Hardison: Good times.
Eliot: So, you guys all get to go to the reunion, and I'm stuck on goon patrol?
Nate: Eliot, listen. Once we get the password—
Nate: --you got to enter it on Duberman's computer and destroy Manticore. Hardison's a little occupied.
Hardison: Besides, I'm sure you already had your high- school fun. Big man on campus. What, quarterback?
Kid: Come on, Eliot. This is so lame. Quarterbacks do not take Home Ec.
Eliot: I got my reasons.
Kid: Phew! Let's get out of here.
Girl: Eliot, like this. (leans over Eliot, showing her cleavage) Knives are like people. It's all about the context.
Eliot: I had many interests.
(Eliot puts his hood up and punches Spence as he walks by. He grabs Spence’s security card and drags the man into the bushes before entering the building)
[High School Gym]
Duberman: You own this place.
Parker: Badger, badger, badger, badger, '85!
Man: Great to see you.
Duberman: Great to see you, too!
Man 2: Lookin' good, Larry!
Man 4: Ohh.
Duberman: Yes, it's me, in the flesh.
Woman: Hi, Larry. Great to see you again.
Man 5: Hey, Larry! Hey, I saw you on TV last night.
Duberman: Oh, y- y- you saw me on "Larry King"!
Man 5: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Duberman: Which time?
Man 5: I guess the most current one.
Woman 2: Good to see you, Larry.
Man 5: You look great.
(across the room, Sophie is talking to another man)
Man 6: Really?
Sophie: Uh- huh.
Man 6: Mr. Voetberg's history class?
Sophie: Yes, we did that paper together on the civil war. B- plus, I believe, because someone didn't do his share of the research.
Man 6: Right, right. Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh...
(Duberman approaches the table behind Sophie)
Sophie: Excuse me just -- just a minute. (to Duberman) Well, if it isn't the president of the computer club, himself, Larry Duberman.
Duberman: It's great to see you, uh...
Sophie: Grace. Pizza-face grace? Grace Peltz? It's right here on my badge. (holds up purse) Yeah. Are you sure you don't remember me?
Duberman: Of course I remember you.
Sophie: Well, it's okay. I hardly remember myself. There I am.
(points to yearbook)
Duberman: Right. "Grace Peltz"!
(Hardison places a picture of Sophie as a spectacled teen on a page with others from that school and prints the page, then adds it to the yearbook)
[High School Gym]
I wore glasses since I was 8. Five years ago, I finally got contacts.
Duberman: Well, you've certainly blossomed.
Sophie: Well, so have you, Mr. Mogul. Is it true that you have a squash court on your yacht?
Duberman: Yes. Yes, I do. And a bowling alley.
Sophie: Oh! My two favorite sports. (looks toward door) Oh, my. Is that... Oh, my gosh, it is. Ew. It's Drake McIntyre.
(Nate is in the doorway looking like a reject from the 80s)
Man: Drake the snake.
Man 2: Hey, Drake!
Duberman: Drake McIntyre.
Man 2: X, y, z, bro. Hmm?
Nate: Oh. (pulls up his zipper)
Mandy: Drake? Is that you? Wow, if I weren’t on my second Husband.
Nate: Mandy, you still got it. You still got it, honey.
Man: Hey. Yep. Hey, hey!
Nate: Hey, what's up?
Man 2: Hey! All right!
Duberman: Drake McIntyre. Looks different.
Sophie: 25 years. People change.
Sophie (looking at yearbook) Every narrative has a Nemesis. Who's Duberman's?
Nate: This one. Drake McIntyre. I think I could pass. Hardison?
Hardison: Lucky dude will be winning two tickets to see the pats play in Miami that weekend.
[High School Gym]
Nate: Yo, Doucherman!
Duberman: That's Drake, all right.
Sophie: You don't have to take that from him anymore. You should say something.
Duberman: Ohh. In due time. First, can I get you some mystery meat at the buffet?
Sophie: Oh, I already ate. Five months of dieting to fit into this dress. But I'll go with you. (takes Duberman’s arm) Oh. Thanks. (to comm) How'd you know that was his nickname?
Nate (making his way through the crowd): Well, with a name like Duberman, not exactly rocket science. Hey! What's up? Hardison, they're swarming me. Give me something, or they're gonna blow my cover.
Hardison: Got you. I got you. Ally Kassakian, she was the head of the drama club. Mark Pereira, oh. Ouch. He just divorced his high school sweetheart, Nancy.
[High School Gym]
Nate: Ally, you're looking hot. Still acting?
Ally: Thank you. Yeah.
Nate: Yeah? I'll bet you're terrific. Hey, Mark, listen, man.
Mark: Hey, Drake. Hey, how you doing?
Nate: I heard about Nancy. I just want to say, it sucks, dude.
Hardison: Oh, I can't believe Jaclyn Thomas had the nerve to show up after what she did to Katherine.
[High School Gym]
Nate: Guys, forget about the gossip. Stick with the con. Hey!
Woman: Hey! (hugs Nate)
Hardison: You know, I'm trying, man. It's just, I feel like I know these people now. Kills me to see a nice girl like Cindy Taylor settle for a guy like Aaron Ferguson.
[High School Gym]
Nate: Yeah, all right, listen, I'm gonna lean on Duberman. Get him to the Roman room. I'm going right now.
Schmitty: Whoa, I can't believe it! Drake Mac!
Nate: Whoa, whoa. Hey, Schmitty! Hey, how you doing, pal?
Schmitty: "How you doing, pal?" that's all you got for me?
Hardison: Okay, look, I'm -- I'm - I'm on it, I'm on it. Ah, "Schmitty."
Schmitty: You don't remember? Come on?
Hardison: Schmitty. Schmitty, Schmitty. No, no, there's no "Schmitty" Here. Parker?
[High School Gym]
(Parker runs into Schmitty, knocking his yearbook from his hands)
Parker: Oh! Sorry.
Schmitty: Watch it, girly.
(Parker hands Schmitty another yearbook and takes his into a corner)
Schmitty: Come on, you don't remember?
Schmitty: Ferguson's party. We took the 30- pack...
Parker (reading yearbook): Okay, Drake wrote, "I'll always remember those nights Gettin' wicked pissed and puking off the Medford bridge. Schmitt-head and Mac attack forever"?
Schmitty: Schmitt- head!
Nate: Schmitt- head!
Nate and Schmitty together: Mac attack forever! Aah! Aah!
Parker: Maybe it's a good thing I missed high school.
Nate: Hey, uh, can you give me one of your crappiest beers in one of your red plastic cups?
Sophie: Good memories here?
Duberman: Good and bad. This hall is burned in my mind.
Sophie: Oh, say, wasn't that Mrs. Zavransky's room?
Duberman: Had her for homeroom. Yeah, Pat Brander once gave me a wedgie in front of the whole class.
Sophie: Pat Brander.
Eliot: Let's check out Brander. (typing) Nope.
Hardison: Okay, look, try "Brander303." That's the room number.
Eliot: It looks like it's unlocked. It's payroll files.
Nate (looking through stairway door): All right, guys, patience. If we get him riled up, push his buttons, He'll lead us to the password we want. (finishes drink and enters hallway)
Sophie: Uh, you know –
Nate: Hey, whoa, hey! Who brought the party out here? Is that Doucherman? Ha ha! How's it hanging there, Doucherman?!
Duberman: Drake! What a pleasure!
Nate: Oh, yeah! And is that, uh, grace "Felt pants" Peltz... All grown up?
Sophie: Hello, Drake. I assumed you'd be fat.
Nate: I know, right? You know? Cleaning pools keeps me fit. Listen aren't you a little out of this guy's league? Yes, he is! (grabs Duberman and bends him over)
Sophie: Quit it! Quit!
Duberman: We're not 18 anymore!
Nate: I'm just reliving the good old times. You know?
Duberman: Oh, "Good times"? Y-y-you think they were good times for me? Like when you told Amy Tuttleton, th-the prettiest girl in school, that I had both male and female genitalia?
Nate: I forgot about that! Yeah, that was classic.
Eliot: "Tuttleton." no. You want me to try "Hermaphrodite"?
Duberman: But now things have changed. Uh, you clean pools?
Nate: I do.
Duberman: I have eight of them.
Nate: Well, I should give you one of my cards.
Duberman: No, you don't get it, do you? I won.
Nate: Oh, come on, now. You're not still steamed about stuff that happened 25 years ago? Come on. It's... Listen, you know, it wasn't all bad. Did your brain only remember the painful bits?
Duberman: Just the important stuff. Like what happened in the library.
Sophie: Oh, yeah. Go on.
Duberman: No, you remember. I- I was sitting there.
Nikki: Well, what do we have here? Larry Duberman. Everyone's buzzing about you, Mr. Big man on campus.
Nate: Who? Doucherman? Come on, you know, he's got, uh, he's got lady parts. You know, you should be talking to me.
Nikki: Drake McIntyre. Well, some people do get finer with age.
Nate: Well, right back at ya... "Nikki."
Hardison: Got to be kidding me. Guys, um, look. Guys, there's like six Nicoles, Three Veronicas, and a Dominique. This may take a while.
Nikki: Oh, come on, don't tell me you don't remember me without my cheerleading uniform on? He's also seen me with it off.
Nate: Oh, Nikki, you. Say, why don't you go get us some drinks? And then we'll, uh, we'll reminisce later. It'll be okay.
Nikki: Oh, I'm not letting you out of my sight! Come on.
(Nikki drags him away down another hallway, pushes him up against the lockers and starts kissing him)
Nate: Oh- ho, yeah! Ah, you know, Nikki. Hey, whoa! The, uh, the bar is down there. Why don't we go--
Nikki: Oh, please. You don't have to get me drunk.
(Nikki pulls Nate down the lockers)
Nate: Ho ho!
(Nikki pushes Nate into a supply closet and closes the door, pushing him against the shelves and kissing him)
Nate: I don't mean to be insulting or anything, Nikki, but, I'm not sure I have, I'm not sure I have feelings for you anymore. I-I like you, maybe as friends. We'll...
Nikki (pushes Nate away from her): Well, if that's the way it's gonna be. (leaves the room)
Nate: Nikki! Nikki!
(Nikki locks the door as Nate struggles to extricate himself from a bunch of cleaning equipment)
Nate: Nikki! I'm sorry! Nikki! Nikki! Nikki, I'm sorry! Nikki, I... Nikki?!
(Nicki straightens her clothes and moves away)
Nate: Parker, it seems my ex-flame has locked me in the, I don't know, storage closet or something in the East hallway, so...
[High School Gym]
Parker (moving through crowds): Wow. You must have really broken her heart. High school is so dramatic!
(Eliot is looking at one of Duberman’s display cases)
Eliot: They give trophies for chess.
(voices come from the hallway and a cutting torch begins to work on the door)
Eliot: It's the Vezarat. They're coming in!
Nate: Wait a minute. What are the Iranians doing there?
(Parker picks the lock on the door, letting Nate out)
Nate: Thank you, Parker.
Parker: Yeah. No problem. Hey, guess what I heard.
Parker: A bunch of ladies said Drake McIntyre was the best they ever had.
Sophie: Really? Frank Dinunzio stuffed you in locker 243.
(Nikki walks up and moves close to Duberman)
Duberman: Uh, Nikki! Uh, what happened to Drake?
Nikki: Oh, I just wanted him out of the picture, so I could have you all to myself. (spills her drink on Sophie.
Nikki: Oh, your dress. I'm so sorry.
Sophie: No, it's fine. It's fine! I've seen worse.
Nikki: You know, you better go wash that off, 'cause that could stain.
Sophie: No, really, it's -
Madavhi: Uh, Grace, go ahead. We have all evening to catch up.
(Sophie moves reluctantly away)
Nikki: So, did you ever see the girls' locker room? That's where we used to shower after cheerleading practice.
Nate: What happened? He got away?
Sophie: She took him, that--that--that bloody little slut!
Nate: All right, calm down, now.
Sophie: No, just because I'm not a cheerleader or something --
Nate: All right, l-let's forget about her, all right? Eliot has company, and we're no closer to getting the password, so I think we need to escalate.
Sophie: Well, you think he's ready?
Nikki: Uh, guys? I've accounted for all the Nikkis of the class of '85. Your Nikki's not even in the yearbook.
Parker: Okay, so she's a fraud like us?
Sophie: What is she, just some random hussy who's out for his cash?
Hardison: Not exactly. (looking at information on monitors) She's a hired gun.
Sophie: An assassin? Nikki’s an assassin?
Hardison: Yeah, I guess we weren't the only ones with the bright idea to pose as alumni. This chick's connected to wet work jobs All up and down the East coast. Russian mob, Italian mob. There's a New Zealand mob?
Nate: All right, this is our fault.
Parker: I didn't do anything.
Sophie: You know, we lured him to an unsecured environment. We exposed him.
Nate: And now we have to save him. We can't destroy Manticore with him dead. So split up and find him. Eliot, what's happening on your end?
Eliot: "T" Minus five seconds. This reunion sucks!
(a piece of door falls in and the Vezarat leader looks in)
Vezarat Leader: The health inspector?
Eliot: I'm gonna have to dock you again.
(the Vezarat Leader opens the door and comes in, raising a gun at Eliot, who bats it away and elbows him in the face. Another man swings at Eliot, but he catches both blows and punches the man in the stomach. The leader hits Eliot on the shoulder and ducks when Eliot swings at him, grabbing Eliot around the waist and slamming him back on the display cases. Eliot grabs the man around the neck)
Hardison: Yeah, Duberman must have pissed off the Iranians. They hire an assassin to take him out while they raid his office? Eliot, you've got to keep 'em away from that computer.
Eliot: What do you think I'm doing?!
(Eliot knees the leader in the face, then pulls him up and punches him in the head. He turns to duck a blow from the other man and hits him in the head with one of Duberman’s trophies)
(Eliot throws the trophy down on the man. Behind him the leader stands up and cracks his neck)
Eliot: Or not.
(Nikki has Duberman pushed up against the end of a row of lockers, kissing him. She pulls a gun and shoves it into his ribs)
Duberman: Ow! What are you—(looks down at gun) I'm not getting lucky, am I?
Nikki: Your luck has just run out, Duberman. The Iranians don't care for your negotiating style.
Duberman: Nikki, or whatever your name is, I can double what they're paying you.
Nikki: Oh, I'm sure you could. But that wouldn't look so good for my reputation.
(Nikki pulls a silencer from a strap on her thigh and screws it onto the gun)
Duberman: Okay, wait! Let's figure out a price here.
Nikki: And by the way (points gun at Duberman) You're still a nerd.
(Sophie hits the gun down with a fire extinguisher, then knocks the gun away)
Duberman: Grace! Oh, thank God!
(Sophie hits Nikki in the head with the extinguisher and takes off her shoes)
Sophie: I always hated cheerleaders.
(Eliot hits the Vezarat Leader, but the other man tackles him from behind)
(Nikki swings several times and Sophie blocks each blow with the extinguisher, hurting Nikki’s wrist)
Sophie: It's mean girls like you that always ruined high school for the rest of us!
Nikki: What the hell are you talking about?
(Nikki kicks but Sophie moves to one side. Nikki tries to punch but Sophie blocks with the extinguisher. Sophie dodges a kick and hits Nikki in the head, then pushes her down and runs away. Nikki grabs her gun and fires after Sophie, missing her)
Nikki: Damn it!
(Duberman runs down the hallway)
(Nate steps between Duberman and Nikki)
Nate: Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, what are you doing?
Nate: Ho, whoa, hey. Hey, listen, listen. No, no, wait. You locked me in a closet, and you're trying to kill my friend Doucherman here. I'm starting not to like you, there, Nikki.
Nikki: They only paid me to deliver one body, so get out of my way!
Nate: Y-y-you just wait three seconds.
Nikki: Now, why would I do that?
(Parker walks forward and tasers Nikki in the neck)
Nate: That's why.
(Nikki falls to the ground, convulsing. Parker grabs her legs and starts to pull her away)
Parker: Catering, what a business.
Duberman: I don't know why, but you just saved me! You can call me "Doucherman" All you like. (hugs Nate)
Nate: Yeah, okay, all right. All right. (pushes Duberman away)
Duberman: Tell the truth, you weren't even the cruelest to me in high school. You weren't as bad as Pat Brander.
Nate: No, no, and where's he tonight to save your ass, huh? Right?
Duberman (backing away): Right. Right. (picks up Nikki’s gun and points it at Nate)
Nate: What are you doing? I just saved your life!
Duberman: Pat Brander. "Patricia." I've already been fooled once tonight. It's not gonna happen again. Who are you? If you’re not Drake McIntyre then who the hell are you? Is anybody here who they say they are?
(Sophie walks into the hallway)
Duberman: Are you the real grace Peltz?
Sophie: There is no grace Peltz. She was a fiction invented to flatter your ego.
Duberman: So you're with that assassin? You're all trying to kill me?
Nate: No, no, no, we're not trying to kill you, just your business. Yes, on behalf of Cyrus Madavhi, that kid you had beaten and robbed so that you could continue to sell Manticore to Iran.
Duberman: I have no idea what you're talking about. (pulls out phone) I'm calling the police.
Nate: Well, don't bother. We already did, and they should be on their way just as soon as our man inside your office destroys Manticore using your password.
Duberman: Oh, you couldn't possibly --
Nate: It was pretty easy to figure out once we got inside this hallway.
Sophie: Zavransky, Mandy double-d, your locker combination?
Duberman: You’re smart, but you're not smart enough. (types into his phone) It's changed. All your work for nothing, fake Drake.
Nate: Yeah, it's done.
(the man has Eliot around the throat)
Eliot: Good to know.
(the Vezarat leader raises his gun and Eliot kicks him away, then elbows the man in the ribs to get free. Eliot throws the man on the floor and breaks his arm and the man screams)
Eliot: Shut up.
(Eliot moves to the computer and types in a password)
Eliot: All right, I'm in. Now what?
Hardison: Okay, good.
Hardison: Deauthorize and delete all directories, just like I showed you.
(behind Eliot, the Vezarat leader gets to his feet. Eliot elbows him in the head and he falls to the floor. Eliot types on the computer and the screen goes blank)
Eliot: It's done. Manticore is dead.
(Duberman’s phone chirps and he pulls it out of his pocket. The display reads ‘Manticore offline’)
Duberman: That's not possible. I changed the password. This is another trick.
Nate: Is it? Or is it badger85?
Duberman: That's the new password! But I just changed it! How could you know it?!
Nate: Well, you know, it turns out, just like high school, you can be pushed around.
(Eliot brings a tea tray to the counter and pours Sophie a cup of tea)
Sophie (to Parker): Neurolinguistic programming. It's amazing what you can do with the power of suggestion.
Sophie (to Duberman): Say, wasn't that Mrs. Zavransky's room?
Sophie: It's right here on my badge.
Sophie: I wore glasses since I was 8, five years ago
Nate: It wasn't all bad, did your brain just hold onto all the painful--
Sophie: I already ate. Five months of dieting to fit into this...
(Duberman runs down the hall toward a large cutout of a badger with 85 on its chest)
Parker: Badger, badger, badger, badger, '85! Badger, '85! (after moving away, Parker takes off the badger head of the costume)
Duberman: You, you hacked me? You got inside my head?! (runs away with the gun)
Nate: We did save your life!
[High School Gym]
Man: What's the matter, Schmitty?
Schmitty: Holy crap! They're out of beer!
(Duberman bursts into the room, still holding the gun)
Schmitty: Hey, he's got a gun!
(FBI Agents burst into the room)
Agent: FBI! Freeze!
(Agents surround Duberman and grab his arms)
Duberman: No! Let go of me!
Agent: Nobody move! Stand back!
Duberman: What are you staring at?! I'm better than you. I'm better than all of you! I'm Larry Duberman!
(Agents drag Duberman from the room)
Schmitty: Ah, Doucherman.
Sophie: I suppose the FBI received an anonymous tip.
Nate: Well, yeah, I mean, between the files that Eliot just e- mailed them...
Sophie: And the ledger from the cafe...
Nate: Duberman's looking at a lot of time in detention.
Sophie: And with Manticore gone, Cyrus' people are one step closer to freedom.
(Hardison removes a camera from one of the badger cutouts)
Hardison: I already told Cyrus Manticore's destroyed. I'm sure he's spreading the good news right now.
(Madavhi is sitting in front of his computer on a video conference with his family)
Man (in Iranian): It’s wonderful to hear from you again.
Woman (in Iranian): I love you, darling.
(the screen shows his family gathered together and smiling)
Mandavhi (in Iranian): I love you too.
Woman (in Iranian): Cyrus, are you sure this is safe?
Mandavhi (in Iranian): Yes. And now the protests can happen – we don’t have to be afraid. (reaches out to touch the child on the monitor) Yes, there is hope now.
[High School Gym]
Sophie: Well, I think it's time we graduate.
Mandy: Your votes are in for the king and queen of the reunion! And the lucky winner is, Grace Peltz and Drake McIntyre!
Schmitty: Mac attack! Yeah!
(the crowd escorts Nate and Sophie forward)
Nate: Uh, very funny, Hardison.
Hardison: Oh, you think I did this? Naw, man, I don't rig elections. I mean, I could, but...
Sophie: Parker, Was this you?
Parker: I didn't even know they had kings and queens in high school.
Nate: Yeah, um...
Man: Hey, Mac.
Nate: I guess it was a good con.
(Mandy comes forward to put a tiara on Sophie’s head)
Sophie: Oh, no, I -- oh.
Schmitty: Mac attack! Here's your crown!
(Nate refuses and Schmitty takes the crown away)
Sophie: Oh, thank you.
Nate: Uh, Hardison, why don't you maybe set off a fire alarm about now?
Hardison: You two enjoy this. You earned it.
Mandy: Grace Peltz and Drake McIntyre.
Nate: So, uh...
Sophie: So, I... Okay.
(Nate and Sophie begin dancing)
Nate: So you think we would have, uh, been a couple in high school?
Sophie: Mm, Grace Peltz and the great Drake McIntyre? Mnh- mnh. Don't think so.
Nate: No, no. Nate Ford and...
Sophie: Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Don't ruin the mood.
Hardison (looks up): May I have this dance, miss?
(Parker lowers herself on her line and they begin dancing)
Parker: So this is what high school was like, huh?
Hardison: Ah...Pretty much.
(Eliot walks out of the building as Sloane gets to his feet)
Eliot: Everybody having a good time at the dance? Anybody wonder if Eliot made it out?
(Eliot punches Sloan, who falls back into the bushes)
Eliot: Does anybody wonder if Eliot's alive? Hello?!
[High School Gym]
(the two couples continue to dance as the music plays)