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Leverage Main | When Darkness Falls

4x13 The Girls' Night Out Job

[Exterior Street]

(Mattingly runs around a corner and down a sidewalk followed by two men. He darts across the street and is nearly struck by a car driven. He continues across the street, losing his pursuers)

Thug: Whereíd he go? He was just here.

(Mattingly is holding on to the side of an SUV, riding it on the opposite side of his pursuers as the SUV continues down the street. The passenger in the SUV sees him but the driver does not)

[Leverage HQ]

Eliot: Hardison!

Hardison: Yeah, yeah. One second, Eliot. Uh, Parker. (knocks on counter) Parker.

Parker: What? (walks over to counter)

Hardison: Guess what weíre doing Saturday night.

Parker: Um, going to the --

Hardison: Wrong. (holds tickets up) Weíre going to fighting robots at the Civic Center!

Parker: Great.

Hardison: And check it. We are sitting right up next to the plexiglass. I can breathe on it.

Parker: Ooh, thatís close. Real close.

Hardison: You know what? Weíre sitting, like, right above the area with the spinning saw blades and the mallets.

Parker: Sounds, uh, loud.

Hardison: Yeah, itís real loud, Ďcause they send them in, they fight to the death. You know what I mean? You know what? (emotionally) I donít know if youíve ever experienced this, but have you ever seen, like, a robot bleed out oil? Itís so... emotional. I mean Ė

Eliot: Hardison!

Hardison: Yeah, Iím coming, man! Such a -- But you down, right? We good?

Parker: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Hardison: We going? Uh-huh. All right. Good times. (singing) What? Get it, get it! Robots, what?

Parker (singing): What?

Hardison (singing as he moves away): What? What?

Parker: What? Sophie!

(Hardison and Eliot move a card table into the loft toward the dining area)

Parker: Not even for a little while?

Sophie: Unh-unh. I told you. I have plans.

Hardison: Hey, and it is a valid strategy.

Eliot: Itís not strategy, all right? Betting on every hand is not strategy. Itís annoying.

Nate: I just got a phone message from detective Bonanno, saying that he -- he wants to come over. Heís -- (sees Hardison and Eliot setting up the card table) no, no, no, this. No, no, guys. Oh, come on.

Sophie: Your father had a poker game for 30 years. Police, criminals at the same table. This is good for you.

Nate: Yes, I want to be like my father. Good insight, Sophie.

Eliot: Nice. You know, living inside your own head, Nate, only having conversations with your crew -- that ainít right.

Hardison: Name one person you can have a conversation with who isnít on this team.

All: And donít say Maggie.

Eliot: Look, I got my buddies that were in the service. Hell, even Hardisonís got his little internet friends. Theyíre all elves and gnomes, but at least --

Hardison: Theyíre orcs. Theyíre orcs. You just donít listen.

Sophie: I have dinner plans. Even Parkerís meeting a friend tonight.

Parker: Mm-hmm. Remember Peggy from that jury job in Los Angeles? Technically, sheís Aliceís friend --

Hardison, Eliot and Sophie: Youíre Alice.

Nate: Youíre Alice, actually.

Parker: She went to Boston last year, so weíve been doing brunch and other normal-people stuff.

Sophie: And weíre very proud of you.

Parker: For having brunch? Well, itís not hard. There are forks.

Sophie: So, girlsí night out, boysí night poker. Itís character-building for everyone. Have fun. (to Eliot) Do not let him go off and sulk.

(Parker follows Sophie out of the apartment)


Parker: Iíve got to talk to you.

Sophie: Unh-unh, no. I canít right now. Iím in a hurry.

Parker: No, itíll only take a second.

Sophie: No, no, no. (enters elevator) Itís not a good time.

Parker: Wait! (holds elevator open)

Sophie: Parker, in or out? Come on.

Parker: No. You know that thing you do when you fix whatever Iím doing wrong?

Sophie: You mean advice?

Parker: Mm-hmm.

Sophie: Iím guessing you and Hardison?

Parker: Mm-hmm. Okay, so, he knows stuff, right? And I know stuff, too. But my stuff is completely different from his stuff.

Sophie: Okay, all right, yeah. Itís just typical early relationship jitters, all right? Just be patient, and soon youíll be -- youíll be thick as thieves. (moves Parkerís hand)

Parker: Wait! (holds elevator open) You havenít fixed me yet.

Sophie: Oh, come on. Iím late. Canít you talk to your friend Peggy?

Parker: No, sheís got a blind date. Iím supposed to go check him out first to make sure iLuvPaws72 isnít a disaster.

Sophie: Who?

Parker: Well, they met online. Theyíre both cat lovers. And she doesnít know what he looks like because they both use cats as their profile pictures.

(elevator doors close)

Sophie: Good night, Parker. Have a good night.


(Peggy walks across the room to where Parker is sitting at the bar)

Peggy: Hey. Hi.

Parker: Hi.

Peggy: Oh. (hugs Parker and sits down) Oh, gosh, I canít believe Iím doing this. Is he here yet?

Parker: No, not yet. You can relax.

Peggy: Oh, God. You donít understand. Iím taking a perfect stranger to a party Iím catering. And itís at the Venezuelan Consulate. I mean, thatís a big deal for me.

Parker: Yeah.

Peggy (answers phone): Hello? What? No, no, no, no. No. The arepas are supposed to be flash-fried, not deep-fried. What? No. (to Parker) Iím sorry. Can you excuse me just for one second? (moves away from the bar)

Parker: Okay.

Peggy (into phone): You know what? You need to put Gustavo on the phone now.

(Parker turns around and sighs. She sees Mattingly move to the end of the bar and get the Bartenderís attention)

Bartender: Yes, sir. What can I get for you?

Mattingly: Can I get a tequila, top-shelf, very cold, and...

(Parker watches Mattingly check his phone)

Mattingly: Hmm -- a Cosmopolitan. No tab. Iím not staying.

(Parker uses her cell phone to take several pictures of Mattingly and uploads them to her SkyDrive, then makes a phone call)

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: Bam!

Eliot: You bet out on a pair of 2s?

Hardison: Never tell me the odds. (answers phone and moves away from the table)

Eliot: Respect the game. Respect the game.

Hardison: Respect the swag. (into phone) Hey, girl. Iím a little busy.


Parker: I just uploaded some photos to my SkyDrive. Can you run that face thing that tells you if people are bad?

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: You mean the one that took me six knockdown, drag-out months to hack?


Parker: Yeah.

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: Girl, Iím trying to prove my manhood with my boys. You know what Iím saying? With my boys.


Parker: Please?

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: H-hang on.

Eliot: Hardison, you in or out?

Hardison: What? (pulls up Parkerís SkyDrive on his laptop and runs facial recognition software) Oh, oh, okay. Parker, Craig Mattingly. Heís wanted for burglary and grand larceny in a whole bunch Ė


(Mattingly stands near the end of the bar)

Hardison: -- of countries. He is trouble. And he Ė

Hardison: -- heís got some strikingly good features, squared-up jaw and everything. P-Parker, what are you doing with this guy?


Parker: Thanks. Youíre the best.

Hardison: Wait. Parker, wait. I Ė

(Parker gets up from the bar)


Sophie (raising her glass): To a night of unbridled debauchery.

Tara: Iíll drink to that.

Sophie: Tara, weíve been friends for so long. Why do we never work together?

Tara: Well, you only need one grifter per crew.

Sophie: Itís a silly rule. A yacht in Saint-Tropez, you and me, imagine the damage weíd do.

Tara: Well, there is that.

Sophie (answers phone: Hello?

Parker: Sophie, I need your help.


Parker: Itís my friend Peggyís blind date.


Parker: Iím sending you a photo.

Sophie: Unh-unh, no. Parker, listen. Tara and I just sat down.


Parker: Does this man look like ďiLuvPaws72Ē?


(Sophie looks at a picture of Mattingly on her phone and shows it to Tara)

Tara: Yum.


Parker: And look what Hardison found. (sends information to Sophie)


Sophie (looks at information): Ooh. Wanted in multiple jurisdictions.

Tara: Bad boy.

Sophie: Well, he must be targeting your friend for a reason.


Parker: Yeah. We have to help her.

(Peggy is standing outside of the bar, still talking on the phone)


Sophie: All right. This place is dead, anyway.

Tara: Zoom in on the picture -- the part with the wallet.

(Sophie does, revealing a key card from the Palaestra Hotel)

Sophie: Staying at the Palaestra.

Tara: We could toss his room, see what we can find.

Sophie: All right, Parker.


Sophie: Donít do anything until we Ė

(Parker hangs up the phone)


Sophie: Parker? Parker!

(Sophie and Tara look at each other, then drain their drinks and leave the bar)


Parker (walks over to Mattingly): Hi, Iím Peggy.

Mattingly (looking her over): Youíre Peggy?

Parker: Mm-hmmm.

Mattingly: TabbyFan76?

Parker: Guilty as charged.

Mattingly: iLuvPaws72 -- Craig Mattingly. (shakes Parkerís hand) Itís great to meet you.

Parker: You too.

(Mattingly hands her a glass)

Parker: Oh. Thank you.

Mattingly: Mm-hmm.

(Parker sips at her glass while Mattingly drains his quickly)

Mattingly: Ahh. Well, this place is swell, but we should really get to that party of yours.

Parker: Right, the party that I, uh -- that Iím catering, because Iím a caterer.

Mattingly: Yeah.

Parker: Yeah.

Mattingly: Gala at the Venezuelan Consulate. We should go.

Parker: Oh, uh, whatís the rush? (looks out the door at Peggy)

Mattingly: Well, you know, Iím a country veterinarian. Itís not every day I get to break out the formal wear.

Parker: Right, okay. Um, well, I just have to make a call, because I have to call my cat. He likes to hear my voice on the machine. When I go out, he gets sad. Sometimes he cries, and the neighbor calls. Itís crazy. Donít move. Iíll be right back.

(Mattingly nods)

Parker: Okay.

(Parker goes to meet Peggy as she comes back inside the bar

Peggy: Sorry.

Parker: Itís okay.

Peggy: Okay. Is he here? Whatís he like?

Parker: Yeah.

(Parker turns Peggy around so that she sees an unattractive man sitting at a table)

Peggy: Oh, no.

Parker: Yeah. (steals an invitation from Peggyís purse)

Peggy: You know, I really liked this one. He sent me the most heartbreaking e-mail about declawing.

Parker: Iím sorry.

Peggy: Just let him down easy for me. Tell him I couldnít make it.

Parker: Of course.

Peggy: All right, I have to go to work. Thank you for saving me. (hugs Parker)

Parker: Yes. Thatís what friends are for.

(Peggy walks away and Parker looks down at the invitation in her hand. As Peggy walks out the door, a woman walks in with a dress in a dry cleaning bag and hangs it on the wall)

[Hotel Room]

(Sophie opens the door and enters the room, followed by Tara)

Sophie: Hmm. (walks to center of the room) All right, Craig Mattingly. Whatís your game? (turns to see Tara going through dresser drawers) Tara! What are you doing?

Tara: Uh, searching the room?

Sophie: No, no, no. You canít just barge in and break the joint. You have to slow down, get acquainted with the environment.

Tara: What, youíre not one of those Boylan touchy-feely-vibe types, are you? (continues looking through dresser)

Sophie: The Boylan method teaches us to treat a search like a crime scene. (picks up clothing from the bed and looks at it) You know, we only get one chance to --

Tara: Okay, you know what they teach us at Quantico? Lightning strike. You never have as much time as you think.

(a key card sounds in the lock outside, making both women look at the door)

Sophie: Oops.

(Sophie and Tara look at each other, then dash for the closet, where they manage to hide inside before two men enter the room. These are the thugs that were chasing Mattingly earlier. They quickly begin to go through the dresser and cut open the pillows on the bed)

Tara (whispers): Quantico.

Sophie (whispers): ďQuantico.Ē

Man 1 (getting Man 2ís attention): Really? Thatís the first place you look? The pillows? (answers cell phone) Still looking, sir. Do you want us to go back to the event?

(in the closet, it becomes apparent that Tara is going to sneeze)

Sophie (whispering): No, no.

(Tara sneezes. Man 1 puts his phone away and pulls his gun before going to the closet door. Tara pushes the door open quickly, hitting him in the head and knocking him back. She punches him to the face and he drops his gun before falling to the floor. Sophie dives for the gun but Man 2 is there and wrestles the gun from her hand. He stands up and points the gun at her)

Man 2: Donít move.

Sophie (panting): Your safetyís on.

(Man 2 pauses and Tara hits him from behind with a vase, knocking him down. Tara takes the gun and points it at the men, who get to their feet)

Man 2: VŠmonos.

(the men exit the room and Tara helps Sophie to her feet)

Tara: The safety was off.

Sophie: Not to a grifter.

Tara: ďNot to a grifter.Ē

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

(Parker and Mattingly make their way up a line of people waiting to get into the ballroom)

Mattingly: No, I love all kinds, even catfish. What kind of cats do you like?

Parker: Oh, yeah, I like big ones, you know, lions and tigers -- kind of a mix.

Mattingly: Like a liger?

Parker: Yeah.

Peggy (to doorman while going through her purse): You know, I must have lost my invitation. Yeah, Iím the caterer, so Iím on the staff list.

(Parker sees Peggy and turns to avoid being seen)

Doorman: If you donít have an invitation, I canít let you in. Iím going to need you to wait here, maíam.

Peggy: Maíam? Donít call me maíam! (a waiter pushes a cart of food past) Okay, you know, I need to check this. I have to Ė (follows waiter away from the door)

Doorman (follows Peggie): No.

(Parker and Mattingly move to the front of the line. Parker hands her invitation to a Woman)

Woman: Good evening. (takes invitation) Thank you.

Parker: Okay, in we go. Venezuela.

Mattingly: Ooh, arriba.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(many people are dancing as Parker and Mattingly move through the crowd)

Mattingly: I should let you get to work.

Parker: Yes, the catering. But I hate to leave you by yourself.

Mattingly: Well, donít worry about me. (kisses Parker on the cheek) I make friends easily. (moves away)

Parker (puts earbud into her ear): Sophie, Tara? You there?

(Sophie and Tara are in the line outside the ballroom)

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

Sophie: Right outside. What do you see?

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Parker (watches Mattingly move through the room): Heís paying a lot of attention to three guys with briefcases.

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

Tara: Are they here together or separately?

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Parker: Separately. I donít think they know each other.

Sophie: All right, well, weíre almost there. Just hold on.

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

Tara (holds up a badge): Secret service alias. Iím here to protect high-level dignitaries. Iíll bring you in as my deputy.

Sophie (laughs): Youíre serious? I donít think so.

Tara: Suit yourself.

(Tara moves forward and shoes her badge to a guard)

Guard: Mm-hmm.

(Tara moves to the doorman and shows him her badge)

Doorman: Thank you, special agent.

(Sophie moves up next to an older man in line and puts her arm around his shoulders)

Sophie: Agency sent me.

Russian: All right.

(Sophie and Russian move to the front of the line)

Tara: Russian escort? So three years ago. (walks away)

(Russian shoes Doorman his invitation)

Doorman: Thank you, sir.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(Sophie and Russian are standing near the bar)

Sophie: Hey, you want I call Yuri from downstairs? He was Golden Glove boxer. Now go! Go!

(Russian walks away. Tara joins Sophie)

Tara: Why so harsh?

Sophie: He thought I was a prostitute. Bloody cheek. (looks into wallet lifted from Russian) Ooh, diplomatic ID.

Tara: Nice.

Sophie: Very handy for getting out of parking tickets. Ah, ooh. (puts wallet on a passing waiterís tray) Now, letís figure out what Mr. Mattinglyís game is.

(the women begin moving through the crowd)

Tara: So much for a night of unbridled debauchery.

Sophie: Oh, boo-hoo. Just last Wednesday, you were sipping champagne on a G4 with a racing-car driver.

Tara: Yes, who thinks Iím heir to the Pillsbury fortune. Any guess how long thatíll last?

Sophie: Whatever happened to that nice chef in Lyon with the fabulous silver hair?

Tara: Oh, no. He thinks Iím a professional golfer... or banker, I keep forgetting. I got so many lies, I have to store them on my phone.

Sophie: The lament of the grifter. Who really knows us?

(Parker watches from across the room as Mattingly talks to Escobar)

Mattingly: Two thugs chasing me into traffic? Is that the way the cartels do their business these days?

Escobar: I donít know what youíre talking about.

Mattingly: Sure you donít. If I offered to sell you something, youíd never try to steal it first. Would you?

(Thug puts his hands on a briefcase on the table)

Escobar: I brought the money in the briefcase, like you asked. Now close the deal.

Mattingly: No deal. Not until I hear all the offers.

Escobar: My mistake.

(behind Parker, Peggy chastises a waiter)

Peggy: Hey, hey, hey, your fingers are in the water glasses. Right, now you need to go back and get new ones.

(waiter sighs and walks away)

Peggy: Donít roll your eyes at me. (spots Parker and walks over to her) Alice? Alice! What are you doing here?

(Parker chokes on her drink. Peggy sees Mattingly across the room) Wait, I saw him at the bar. Is that iLuvPaws72?

Parker: You know what? Iím really bad at explaining things, so can we just skip to the part where youíre not mad at me?

Peggy: Oh, my God, look at him.

(Peggy starts across the room, but Parker grabs her arm and pulls her back)

Parker: No, no, Peggy, heís not who you think, okay?

Peggy: Heís a hot guy who likes cats. And you stole him from me!

Parker: No.

Peggy: Wait. You stole my invitation, too, didnít you?

Parker: No, I was just trying to help.

Peggy: Well, you didnít help! God, I thought we were friends. (walks away)

(Tara and Sophie walk through the room)

Tara: All right, so the thugs who were chasing him were looking for something.

Sophie: I think heís holding a sale. The guests there with the shiny cases -- theyíre the buyers.

Tara: The question is, whatís he selling?

(the women join Parker)

Sophie: Yeah. Parker, whatís his angle?

(Parker sighs)

Sophie: Parker?

Parker: Sorry. Um, I saw him stalling the mean-looking guy, so whatever heís selling, he doesnít have it on him.

(Mattingly walks away from Escobar)

Sophie: Well, why would he do that?

Parker: Itís called a stop-and-shop. You steal something, then turn around and sell it on-site. Saves you the risk of transit and storage.

(Mattingly moves to sit down with another man. Parker looks upset)

Sophie: Parker, weíre gonna fix things with you and Peggy.

Parker: No, I know, but itís not just about me. I used Peggyís invite to get Mattingly into the party, so whatever heís up to, sheís gonna get blamed for.

Tara: Then weíll just have to stop him.

Sophie: Tara and I will cover the buyers. You stick with Mattingly. Let him steal his mystery item.

(Mattingly moves to talk to another man with a briefcase)

Sophie: With any luck, weíll take them all down.

(Mattingly exits the ballroom through a side door)

Tara: Targetís on the move.

(Parker sighs, gathers herself, and walks after him)


(Mattingly enters a darkened office and crosses the room to pick the lock on another door. Before he can finish, Parker comes into the room, acting drunk)

Parker: There you are! CatFan72, or whatever it is. (laughs) Look, Miche. (hands him a drink)

Mattingly: Whoo!

Parker: Itís from Sugarcane.

Mattingly: Peggy, what about the catering, huh?

Parker: Oh, (takes two paperclips from a desk behind her back) they said Iím not allowed to be around fire right now, so drink!

Mattingly: Mmm. (takes drink)

Parker: Itís 45% alcohol. Itís a good thing I can hold my lió ooh! (stumbles and falls against the door, laughing) Oh, whatís through here?

Mattingly: Uh, my friend works here. Um, he borrowed my sweater, and he left it inside.

(Parker leans against the door and uses the paperclips to pick the lock behind her back)

Parker: Oh, I love sweaters. I knit one for my cat once with little mice all over it.

Mattingly: You are so cute.

Parker: Youíre tall. (the door opens behind Parker and she falls into the room) Oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, letís go. (pulls Mattingly into the room)

Mattingly: Great.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Tara (into phone): Move over, or heís not gonna hear you.

Sophie (into phone across the room): If I get any closer, I will be standing on him. Now shush. Iím starting. (louder) I told you. Mm-hmm. We brought enough. I know he expects big offers.

(Sophie turns a bit to see the Texan watching her)

Sophie (softly): Itís working. (louder) Donít you tell me what to do! (softer) Deep tan means he lives in a warm climate. Iíd say rich Texan, oil man, maybe. (looks at Escobar as she moves through crowd) Huh. Private tailor. Yummy, top-of-the-line Italian fabric. Not afraid to show his wealth. I like that in a man. Big ring, huge watch.

Tara: What are you, the wardrobe whisperer?

Sophie: It works.

Tara: Hmm. Thereís more to it, Soph. If heís so rich, why isnít anybody mingling with him? I see micro-expressions of fear in the people around him. Theyíre avoiding him. I recognize his type. He works for the drug cartels.

Sophie: Can you read my micro-expression?

Tara (laughs): Bite me.

Sophie: I brought half a million. What more does Mattingly want?

Tara: Micro-expressions of anxiety, followed by relief, and then pride. Rich Texan brought a lot more than half a mill.

Sophie: Rich Texan is rich, but not that rich. His Rolex is a fake. Iíd say heís carrying $600k. (louder) Yes, mm-hmm. I can get the full million. You want me to make the call?

(Sophie looks at Escobar, who is eating)

Sophie: Huh. Cartel heard our offer and looks unfazed. Look at him. I mean, you only eat when you feel safe.

Tara: I see pride and contempt. He brought more than $1 million.

Sophie: He brought more than $1 million.

(Sophie reaches Tara and they both put away their phones)

Tara: All right. Guy with the glasses -- heís an odd duck, isnít he?

Sophie: Yeah, I canít get a read on him at all. Whatís his game?

Tara: Well, letís go find out. (pulls badge and walks over to Garcia) Secret service. Can we have a word with you?

[Exterior, Venezuelan Consulate]

(Tara looks at Garciaís ID)

Tara: Umberto Garcia, professor of Latin American Studies at Harvard. What are you doing here?

Sophie: Professor, the man that youíre meeting with tonight is here to steal something, and weíre here to stop him. Ca-can you tell us what heís after?

Garcia: Information -- the exact reserve levels of the oil fields of Venezuela, not the lies the government has been spreading.

Sophie: Those lies are all thatís keeping the government in power. The opposition could use that information to topple the current regime.

Tara: And the drug cartels can use it to keep the government off their back. A Texas oil speculator can use it to make a fortune betting on the price of crude.

Sophie: Youíre a teacher. Uh, where did you get the money for your bid?

Garcia: I have something better than money. (lifts his suitcase and opens it to show a tape recorder that plays a choir singing in Spanish) I come here with only the hopes and dreams of the Venezuelan people to trade.

Tara: Thatís hilarious.

Sophie: Thatís lovely.

(Garcia closes the suitcase)

Sophie: Weíll take that.


(Mattingly sits at a desk going through files on a computer while Parker walks behind him)

Parker: Oh, geez. No sweater, huh?

Mattingly: No. (catches Parker) Oh.

Parker: Oh! Hey, you know what? Iím gonna just check my e-mail real quick.

Parker: Mm, okay. Well, Iím gonna go call the kitchen, make sure theyíre not goofing around. (walks toward the outer office holding her phone)

Mattingly: Yeah, you go get them, Peggy.

Parker: Yeah.

(in the outer office, Parker dials her phone)

[Marcoís Tavern]

Hardison: Iím your worst damn nightmare. Iím a dirty cop! (phone rings) So you -- excuse me. Got to take this.

(Hardison answers phone and moves away past Eliot, who looks angry. Many men are slumped over the bar and tables, unconscious)

Parker: Hardison.

Eliot: Hey.

Hardison (ignores Eliot): Hey, hey, hey. Whatís happening, baby?

Parker: I just sent you a photo of a room.


Parker: If you were gonna hide a super-secret computer file Ė

[Marcoís Tavern]

Parker: -- where would you put it?

Hardison (looks at picture on phone): Okay. Look.


Hardison: You see that frame on the desk?

Parker: Mm-hmm.

(Parker looks back into the inner office at the electronic photo frame and Mattingly smiles at her)

Hardison: Itís probably in the frame.

Parker: Mm. (smiles drunkenly at Mattingly

[Marcoís Tavern]

Hardison: P-Parker, are you still with that guy?

Parker: Thanks.

Hardison: P-parker? Parker? (hangs up and walks toward back of bar)


Parker (reenters inner office): Itís all better. (sits on desk and picks up frame) I should get one of these.

Mattingly: Mm-hmm?

Parker: Yeah. Family photos can go on there, a picture of my cat.

Mattingly (looks at USB slot on frame): How clever.

Parker: Itís perfect. I have so many photos of her. (puts down frame and picks up drink) Hmm.

(Mattingly picks up the frame and plugs a USB drive into it where Parker canít see. The display changes to reveal computer language)

Parker: I could put those on, even like a little video, where sheís, like, cleaning herself.

Mattingly (almost drops the frame): Oh. Whoops.

Parker: Hmm? (puts down drink) Ahh.

(Mattingly puts something into the inner pocket of his jacket)

Mattingly: You want to hit that dance floor?

Parker: Mm, yeah. Yeah.

Guard (from outer office): Iím checking the South tower.

(Mattingly turns off the lamp on the desk and the guard shines a flashlight into the room. At first he doesnít see anything, then he spots Parkerís legs beneath the Venezuelan flag against the wall. She moves the flag aside and squints into the light)

Parker: Hola.

(Mattingly grabs the guard from behind in a choke hold and knocks him out, letting him fall to the ground. Parker joins him in the doorway)

Mattingly: You know what? I donít think my friend told them about the sweater.

Man on Radio: Cruz, check in.

(Matting grabs Parkers hand and pulls her from the office)

Man on Radio: Cruz, report. Cruz, are you there?

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

(Mattingly leads Parker into the hallway and to the elevator, where he pushes the call button. A sign on the elevator says ĎOut of Orderí)

Mattingly: Oh, come on.

Guard 2: I got him. South elevator.

Mattingly: Peggy, stand back.

Parker: Okay.

(Mattingly breaks the glass over a firemanís ax and uses it to pry open the elevator doors. Parker pushes past him and gets on the top of the elevator, looking up

Parker: Letís go.

(Parker begins climbing the cables as the doors close)

[Elevator Shaft]

(Mattingly follows Parker up the cables)

Mattingly: You donít know anything about cats.

(Parker smiles and continues to climb)


(Parker and Mattingly exit onto the roof)

Parker: I donít know about you, but I could sure use another drink.

Mattingly: Who are you?

Parker: Iím Peggy. CatFan772.

Mattingly: No, itís TabbyFan76.

Parker: Oh, yeah.

Mattingly: And the short conís not your game. No, you got the cocktail dress. You picked the lock. The picture frame. Youíre a thief. A great one. Now, relax. This doesnít have to get ugly. Iím gonna cut you in, say, for... 20%?

Parker: 20%? (whistles) 20%? (laughs) Are you kidding me? I did everything. You couldnít even operate a thumb drive.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Parker, remember why weíre here.

Tara: Right. Remind me.

Sophie: The hopes and dreams of the Venezuelan people. (holds up briefcase)


Mattingly: Oh, look, Peggy, whatever the hell your name is, I have been on this job for months. My hacker buddy did the encryption on that data, and he tipped me off. All you did was --

Parker: I donít want money.

Mattingly: You donít?

Parker: No. I want you to give the thumb drive to Professor Garcia, for free.

Mattingly: Why?

Parker: Because itís the right thing to do.

Mattingly (laughs): Well, at least I know youíre not a cop.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Parker, tell Mattingly to wait five minutes. Heíll get his money.


Parker: Donít move.

(Parker walks away with Mattingly watching her)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Oh, look, no sign of rich Texan -- must have got cold feet -- which means the only briefcase full of cash is there.

(They look across the room where Escobar is standing next to a table, the briefcase at his feet)

Tara: All right, you start a fire in the kitchen. I grab the briefcase. We use the crowd for cover.

Sophie: I was thinking something a little less... trample-y. Letís work with what weíve got. Two identical briefcases.

Tara: You want to do a kick switch.

Sophie: Iíll peel Escobar away from his bodyguard, and you Ė

(Tara walks toward Escobar)

Sophie: Wait. I... (sighs) Itís still my idea.

Tara (to Escobar in Spanish): My boyfriend is a diplomat. He is ignoring me. He will be sorry.

Escobar (in Spanish): Shall we dance?

(Tara takes his hand and they move to the dance floor and begin to dance sensuously. Sophie approaches the table where Escobarís goon is standing over the briefcase and puts the identical briefcase on the floor. Tara continues to hold Escobarís attention on the dance floor)

Sophie: Ooh, waiter. I -- what have you got there? Iím starving.

Waiter: Here you go. (holds out tray)

Sophie: Thank you Ė

(the Waiter stumbles over Escobarís briefcase, knocking it over)

Sophie: Oh! Iím so sorry. I just -- I -- I stumbled. (takes something from the tray as she kicks Escobarís briefcase to the other side of the table) But thanks. I got it now. Thanks.

(Sophie kicks Garciaís briefcase to the other side of the table. The thug sees it on the floor and picks it up. Sophie picks up Escobarís briefcase and leaves the room as Tara continues to dance with Tara)

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

(Sophie hands the briefcase to Parker)

Sophie: Tell Mattingly professor Garcia is ready to make a deal.

(Parker nods and hurries down the hall)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(Escobar and Tara dance as the music comes to a conclusion)


(Parker approaches Mattingly with the briefcase in her hands. He takes it and opens it to find it full of money)

Mattingly: You got this from a teacher? (chuckles) That must have been some bake sale.

Parker: Thumb drive.

Mattingly: Yeah, yeah, Iím a man of my word. (hands her the drive) Thatís the real deal. The estimates on that are 30% lower than the official numbers. Itís a game-changer.

(Parker begins to walk away but Mattingly grabs her arm)

Mattingly: Hey, hey.

Parker: Itís gonna be real hard to count that money with five broken fingers.

Mattingly: You got me all wrong.

Parker: Really? ĎCause Iíd say youíre a second-story man who doesnít care about anything besides his next score.

Mattingly: Look, Iím glad this is going to the good guys for once. I really am. But this is my job. And I have people depending on me, so letís just leave it at that, yeah?

Parker: Well, I better go find my friend Peggy.

Mattingly: Who?

Parker: TabbyFan76.

Mattingly: She really likes cats.

Parker: Yeah, a lot. She has like seven.

(they laugh and Parker beings to walk away)

Mattingly: Hey, look, I never got your real name.

Parker (stops and looks at him): Oh. Parker. (walks away)

Mattingly (looks after her): Wait, not THE Parker?

(Mattingly laughs and dials his phone)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Escobar: Where on earth did you learn to tango like that?

Tara: Indiana.

(Escobar looks at her doubtfully)

Tara: Octavio, I am many things, but I am not a liar.

Escobar: Hmm. (phone rings) Well, unfortunately, I have to go.

Tara: Now? Why?

Escobar: Business. (begins to move away, but turns back) Dance with your boyfriend the way you just did with me. If he ignores you, then you will know he is gay. (kisses her hand and walks away)

Tara: Escobarís on the move.

(Escobar rejoins his Thug, who picks up the briefcase and follows him from the room)

Parker: Sophie, you stay on Escobar. Iím gonna look for Peggy and make things right.

(Sophie follows Escobar from the room)

Sophie: I have him.

[Employee Area]

(Parker enters the room looking for Peggie)

[Pool Room]

(Escobar and his Thug enter the room. Thug takes a pool cue from an older man and intimidates him into leaving the room. Thug puts down the cue and Escobar places the briefcase on the pool table. Across the room, Sophie looks through a set of curtains in a doorway as Mattingly enters the room)

Sophie: Itís Mattingly... without the briefcase.

(Mattingly holds up a thumb drive)

Sophie (gasps): That dirty double-dealer. Whereíd he get a second thumb drive?

(Thug plugs the drive into his phone to check the data on it)


(Parker pauses halfway across the room)


(Parker and Mattingly on the roof)

Parker: You couldnít even operate a thumb drive.

(Parker sits on the desk while Mattingly takes information from the frame onto a USB drive)

Parker: I could put those on, even like a little video, where sheís, like, cleaning herself.

Mattingly: Oh. (fumbles the frame, pushing one drive into his watch band and pulling out a second drive, plugging it into the frame)

Parker: Hmm?


Parker: Heís not clumsy. Heís a dirty liar.

Sophie: Yeah.

[Pool Room]

Sophie: A dirty liar whoís about to open a briefcase with nothing but a tape recorder in it.

(Escobar opens the briefcase to show that itís full of cash)

Sophie: Wait, I -- I switched out the briefcases. Whatís going on?

(Mattingly takes the briefcase and looks at the money)


Parker: I donít know, but Iím gonna find out.

(Parker moves through the kitchen pauses when she hears a muffled scream from a side room)

Parker: Peggy?

(Parker goes to the freezer and opens the door to find a man tied up and gagged who falls at her feet)

Parker: Itís the rich Texan. Escobar must have stolen his briefcase.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Tara: Escobar looked confident. We figured that meant he had a million. It turns out it was because he planned to steal the money from the highest bidder and pocket the rest.


(Thug drags a tied and gagged Texan through the kitchens as Escobar follows. Thug pushes Texan into the freezer and closes the door. Escobar hands both briefcases to Thug, who follows Escobar from the room. In the Ballroom, Thug puts one of the briefcases under a table)

Tara (voice over): He must have stashed the oil guyís money.

(Escobar kisses Taraís hand and walks off the dance floor)

Tara: Escobarís on the move.

(Escobar rejoins his Thug, who picks up the briefcase and follows him from the room)

Tara (voice over): And after the switch, he used that money to pay Mattingly.

(Thug reaches under a table and retrieves the second briefcase)

[Pool Room]

Mattingly (counts money): Hmm. (closes briefcase) Weíre done.

Escobar: I told you I donít like people who waste my time, Mr. Mattingly.

Mattingly: This isnít your money, Escobar. You stole it from the oil guy. And now youíve got the thumb drive, giving your cartel clients leverage of the Venezuelan government, so... yeah. Weíre done. (leaves room with briefcase)

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

(Mattingly walks into the hallway and moves toward Sophie, who ducks into a doorway so he doesnít see her. She watches as he pulls the second briefcase from beneath a table and moves to the elevator)

Sophie: Heís got both briefcases full of money now. Parker Ė


Sophie: -- what should we Ė

Parker: Heís mine.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(Tara leans against the bar, watching the crowd as Sophie joins her)

Sophie: Hey. Do you think Escobar realizes that we ripped him off?

(across the room, Escobar takes a glass of wine from a waiter)

Escobar: Thank you.

Tara: Would you drink to losing $500k?

(Escobar takes the drive and drops it into a glass of champagne)

Sophie: Wait a minute.

Tara: What?

Sophie: Why would you pay a briefcase full of cash for something and then throw it away?

(Escobar and Thug leave the room)

Tara: Iíve only seen this happen one other time before, in Odessa.

Sophie: What happened in Odessa?

Tara: There was a bomb in Odessa.

[Venezuelan Consulate Hallway]

(Mattingly stands before the elevator as it opens to reveal Parker, who grabs him by the throat and pushes him across the hall against the wall)

Mattingly: Hey. Hey, I can explain.

Parker: Too late.

(Sophie and Tara walk toward them)

Tara: Let him go.

Sophie: Parker.

Parker (lets him go): I thought I had you all wrong, that you had people depending on you.

Mattingly (gasping for air): I do! Iíve got two ex-wives, a bookie, and a barkeeper. Well, to be fair, the last two are the same guy, but --

Tara: Weíve got bigger problems.

Sophie: Escobar doesnít work for the cartel anymore. He works for the Venezuelan government.

Mattingly: That doesnít make sense. Why would the government pay for their own data?

Sophie: They donít want to buy it. They want to blow it up, along with everybody else in this building.

(Sophie, Parker and Tara walk down the hall toward the ballroom)

Tara: They can blame the bombings on professor Garcia, call him a terrorist.

(Mattingly begins to follow the women)

Tara: Bye-bye, opposition leader. Bye-bye, thumb drive. Everything tied up with a nice bow.

Parker (to Mattingly): All thanks to you.

Mattingly: Well, this was just supposed to be a simple stop-and-shop.

Parker: Yeah, youíre pretty good at running one of those. Letís see how you are at finding a bomb.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(group enters the ballroom, moving through the crowd as they look around)

Tara: Okay, this place is huge.

Parker: Where would Escobar hide it?

Mattingly: Well, Escobar is too smart to bring it himself. He would have hired a subcontractor. (puts briefcase under a table)

Tara: It would have to be someone with unlimited access, maybe a high-level diplomat.

Sophie: Yes. (spots a waiter) Or the exact opposite.


(Escobar takes a glass of wine from a waiter)

Escobar: Thank you.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: The first thing any waiter learns is how to hold a tray with one hand.

Tara: Itís a little thin.

Parker: Wait, no. I remember the waiter youíre talking about.


(Peggy talks to the doorman about her lost invitation)

Peggy: Maíam? Donít call me maíam! (a waiter pushes a cart of food past) All right, that food canít go out. (follows waiter)

Doorman: No, no. (follows Peggy)

Peggy: So I need to --

(Waiter pushes a cart of food through the crowd)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Tara: So where is this guy?

Parker (into phone): Peggy, one of your waiters is not who he says he is.


Peggy (into phone): You mean the worst waiter that ever lived? Yeah, I see him. (to workers) Hey, guys, can you clear out, please, just for a second? Everybody, clear out. Thanks.

(other kitchen workers begin to leave the room)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Parker: No, no. No, no, no, donít. (hangs up phone) She hung up. (heads for the exit)


(Peggy stops the waiter from leaving the room)

Peggy: Hey, skinny jeans. Where do you think youíre going?

Waiter: I was -- I thought I could --

Peggy: Uh-huh. No. Uh, who hired you?

Waiter: Uh, Iíve got my paperwork over there in my bike messenger bag.

Peggy: You know what? (takes his name tag) Youíre not going anywhere until I figure out whatís going on here.

(Peggy turns away. Waiter picks up a knife and Peggy sees him reflected in a pan as he comes at her. She ducks and blocks a few blows with a frying pan, knocking the knife from his hand. It sticks in a wall)

Peggy: That knife was part of a set!

Waiter: Look, we got to get out of here!

Peggy: Let me ask you something. (hits him with the pan) Why canít a small business owner... (hits him again) who happens to like cats... (hits him again) find a nice guy?!

Waiter: Aah! Aah!

Parker (grabs Peggyís arms): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Mattingly (moving between Peggy and Waiter): You can finish him later, okay? For now, we just need to ask him a question.

(Peggy tries to hit him again, Parker grabs her and pulls her back)

Parker: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. (pulling her away) Itís okay. Okay.

Mattingly (looking at Waiter) : Oh, geez. Can somebody get this guy some ice?

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Itís in a serving cart? Which one?

Parker: He doesnít know. He was just paid to bring it upstairs.

(Sophie and Tara look around the room seeing several serving carts)

Tara: The one that would block any survivors from escaping.

(the two women approach the cart and lift the skirt covering it to reveal a bomb with 2:24 minutes left. They look at each other, then drop the skirt, stand, and look around at the crowded room)

Sophie: Uh... okay.

(they begin pushing the cart from the room)

Sophie: How do we do defuse it?

Tara: Youíre asking me?

Sophie: Well, you were in the Army.

Tara: You stole paintings. That doesnít mean you know how to draw.

Sophie: All right, Parker, clear the room. Be subtle.

(Parker and Mattingly run to the stage and grab a microphone)

Parker: Oh. Ka-boom!

(everyone looks at her and she laughs)

Parker: Got your attention! Okay! Iím Meg Dawson. I am your party planner. And this is Chaz, and we are here to tell you that the fireworks are about to begin!

Mattingly: Yes, thatís right, Meg. The colors of the Venezuelan flag are about to light up the sky, yellow, red, and... (looks at flag) blue with stars.

Parker: Stars. Stars. So if you could all just file out in an orderly fashion...

(everyone starts moving slowly toward the exits)

Parker: Now, yeah. MŠs rŠpido. (begins following the people from the room) Sophie, whatís the plan?

(across the room, Sophie is on the phone)

[Impound Lot]

(Hardison runs across the lot, followed by many dogs)

Hardison: Who needs this many dogs! Aah! (jumps up a fence) Whew! Whew! (kicks at dogs as phone begins to ring) Get! Get your -- get your ass Ė (answers phone) What?! Iím busy!

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Look, I just sent you a picture.

[Impound Lot]

Hardison: Oh, let me guess. Itís a picture of another handsome dude. (kicks at dogs) Aah! Aah! (looks at phone) Okay, itís a bomb. Um... whoa.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Sophie: Yes, itís a bomb. Now just stop playing with that dog and help us!

(bomb displays 48 seconds)

[Impound Lot]

Hardison: That -- thatís a Radicova night train. Um, itís very sophisticated work.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Hardison: Okay, you see -- you see, the, uh -- the three wires on the front panel?

Sophie: Yes.

Hardison: I need you to do this. L-listen.

[Impound Lot]

Hardison: Cut those wires in this sequence Ė uh, um, primer Ė

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Hardison: reactor, ignition timer. But -- but Ė

(Tara and Sophie look at each other)

[Impound Lot]

Hardison: -- but first you got to figure out which one is which. So get a nail clipper. Strip the wires.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Hardison: The live one -- thatís the ignition timer. Yes, right, but Ė

[Impound Lot]

Hardison: -- but donít cut it yet. Strip. Strip the wires, okay? If you cut it, the bomb will blow.

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

Hardison: Are you still with me so far?

(Sophie and Tara look at the phone)

Sophie: Three wires in sequence. Strip, donít cut.

(timer reads 13 seconds. Sophie and Tara look at each other)

[Exterior Venezuelan Consulate]

(cart smashes through a window and explodes as it falls toward the ground making the crowd ooh and aww)

[Venezuelan Consulate Ballroom]

(Sophie and Tara sit at a table as Sophie holds the phone and Tara pours drinks from a liquor bottle)

Hardison: I-I-I donít know if yíall are gonna make it.

Sophie: That is the first thing weíve agreed on all night.

(they touch glasses and drink)

Hardison: Look. Look. Um, okay, you see the -- you see the...

[Exterior Venezuelan Consulate]

(Parker and Mattingly look at the crowd gathered nearby)

Mattingly: We did it.

Parker: Yeah.

Mattingly: Yeah.

(they hug, laughing)

Parker: Oh! Okay. (pulls back)

Mattingly: Oh, Iím sorry. Itís not every day I get to be this close to Parker. Five years ago, I was casing out the ChŠcara Do Cťu museum in Rio, and you boosted a Matisse right in the middle of carnival. Itís...

Parker: Yeah. Iím -- Iím not that big on parties.

Mattingly: So the word is you got out of the game.

Parker: No, no, I-Iím still in the game. I just play by a different set of rules.

Garcia: I was told you have something for me.

Parker: Uh... (hands Garcia a thumb drive) You can thank him. (gestures toward Mattingly)

Garcia: May God bless you and grant the people of Venezuela their hopes and dreams. (moves away)

Mattingly: So, stealing, not for yourself, but for other peopleís hopes and dreams and whatnot.

(Parker nods)

Mattingly: So, I guess what youíre saying is that sometimes bad guys... donít have to be so bad.

Parker: Yeah.

Mattingly: Hey, before the cops get here, I got something for you.

(Mattingly moves away and Parker follows)

[McRoryís Pub]

(Parker sits behind the bar with her feet on two briefcases. Sophie and Peggy sit on the other side of the bar)

Peggy: Alice, yeah, itís okay. You were just looking out for me. And now I know your secret.

Parker: You do?

Peggy: Yeah. (whispers) Youíre a spy.

Parker: Mm. Thatís right. I am a spy.

Sophie: What a relief.

Parker: Whew. And that is why I cannot tell you anything else about what I do.

Sophie: Mnh-mnh. National security.

Peggy: Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. I get it. (laughs) Oh, I just wish Escobar hadnít gotten away, right?

Sophie: Oh, he wonít get far.


(Escobar and Thug walk down a hallway. Ahead of them, Detective Grayson opens the door, followed by several other officers)

Grayson: Going somewhere?

Escobar: You canít arrest us. Weíve done nothing wrong.

(Grayson grabs Escobar and puts him up against the wall as other officers do the same to Thug)

Grayson: I got attempted murder, kidnapping, grand theft.

Escobar: Grand theft of what?

(Grayson puts Escobar in handcuffs)

Texan (entering): Thatís him. I want my money, Escobar.

Escobar: I donít even have his money. I donít even have his money.

(Grayson shoves Escobar against the wall)

Escobar: Ugh!

[McRoryís Bar]

(the girls laugh)

Peggy: You know, all I wanted to do tonight was meet a really nice guy. But I guess I helped stop a bombing, so thatís pretty good. (laughs)

Parker (laughs): Cheers

(they touch glasses and drink)

Peggy: Mmm. Well, Iím gonna go. But I will see you next week at book club.

Parker: Okay, ďThe Contortionistís Daughter.Ē I am loving it, and I will see you there.

Peggy: Okay, great. (gets up) All right.

(Parker mouths to Sophie ďI am not loving itĒ)

Peggy: Oh, and you know what? Marge, you should come, too.

Sophie (laughs): Ah. Okay.

Peggy: Bye! (heads toward back room)

Sophie: Marge?

Parker: I had to come up with something. I know. I know.

Sophie: Listen, Parker. I wanted to apologize about giving you the cold shoulder about Hardison earlier.

Parker: Oh, thatís okay. I think I figured it out.

Sophie: You did?

Parker: Yeah. I mean, I was worried at first, Ďcause Hardison and I are different, the stuff we like. But I just spent all night with Mattingly, a guy who likes all the same stuff I do. And you know what? It would have been more fun with Hardison. So I guess the same is boring. Where is Mattingly, anyway?

Sophie: Oh, he took the cab behind us.

Parker: I thought that was Taraís cab.

Sophie: Yeah, it was. (smiles) The things we do for friends.

[Hotel Room]

(Tara and Mattingly are kissing passionately in his hotel room as Latin music plays. She takes off his jacket and they move toward the bed and fall down upon it, smiling and kissing again, the tape recorder from Garciaís briefcase on the nightstand)

The End

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