Leverage Transcripts derived from the closed captions available online and formated by slaysvamps. Feel free to download and share, but please give credit and a link back to me here.
Leverage Main | When Darkness Falls

5x03 The First Contact Job
[Kanack Worldwide Enterprises, Hallway]

(Oren gets off an elevator and heads toward a conference room)


[Conference Room]

Kanack (refers to monitor): So, as you can see by my projections here, the Kanack hybrid engine would reduce the consumption of jet fuel by up to 66%, thus allowing the airlines to reduce their fares or not.


[Hallway]

Woman: Oren. Oren, hey, I heard you got let go.

Oren: Where is he?

Woman: Who?


[Conference Room]

Kanack: The key is, once the aircraft reaches cruising altitude, the Kanack hybrid jet engine switches to fully hybrid mode.


[Hallway]

(Oren pushes his way through the people moving in the hallway)

Oren: James Kanack... where is he?

Woman: Conference room.


[Conference Room]

(Kanack continues to talk as Oren pounds on the window)

Kanack: That’s nearly 80% of every single flight.

Oren: Thief! That’s my work! Don’t listen to him! He’s a liar and a thief! That’s my work! That’s my engine! Hey!

Kanack: We... we must apologize. That... that was a former assistant we recently had to let go.

(Oren is grabbed by two security guards and pulled away from the window)

Oren: Don’t listen to him! He’s a thief! Liar!

Kanack: His mental instability was compromising Mr. Kanack’s research.

Oren: That’s my work! That’s my work!

Kanack: It’s sad, really. So, do you have any more questions for me, or, uh... can we get down to business?

Executive (stands): I think we’ve heard enough. We would like to purchase the hybrid jet engines

Kanack: Kanack hybrid jet engines.

Executive: The Kanack hybrid jet engines at the price we discussed.

Kanack: Terrific. My head of legal, Mr. Bryden, here will draw up the paperwork. We can have a contract ready to be signed in...

Bryden: Two weeks.

Kanack: Two weeks. Gentlemen, it was a pleasure making history with you.

Executive: Pleasure. Thank you.

Kanack: Thank you. Thank you very much.


[Brew Pub]

Oren: James Kanack offered to fund my research. If it worked, we’d share the credit.

Sophie: Well, that’s always a big risk.

Oren: Without him, I just have ideas on paper. Money builds prototypes.

Nate: So, now he’s trying to cut you out.

Oren: He published our results under his name. And to make sure I couldn’t fight him, he ruined my reputation.

Sophie: The suicide attempt.

Oren: I didn’t. I didn’t try to take my own life. After I got fired, my psychiatrist prescribed
antidepressants, but I was on migraine medication at the time.

Nate: It’s not a good mix. That causes serotonin...

Oren: Serotonin syndrome... confusion, hallucinations. I ended up at the hospital. But it was an accident. Kanack altered medical files. Mr. Ford, no one will hire me now. I just want to work again. And Kanack’s lawyer convinced the judge that all my designs were trade secrets.

Nate: So making them inadmissible as evidence in court.

Oren: Yes, but I embedded digital watermarks on all my computer files. If they had reached the bench, the judge would have seen that they’re mine.

Nate (stands): Okay. Well, so we’ll get your files back, And we’ll destroy the guy.

Oren: That... that isn’t...

(Nate walks away)

Oren: Okay. Thank you.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Eliot: Where’s, uh... And...

Nate: Sent them on ahead. This jobs pretty straightforward.

Sophie: James Kanack, owner of Kanack Worldwide, inventor of the Kanack irrigation process, the Kanack self-drying washing machine, the Kanack lo-flo toilet.

Eliot: What kind of guy names a toilet after himself?

Sophie: Someone who cares more about fame than respect, that’s for sure.

Nate: Okay, James Kanack studied engineering in college but quit when his father, who was a real genius, died and left him, younger James, $20 million, at which point, James decided to hire some young geniuses and steal their work and lawyer them into the ground.

Eliot: Over a toilet.

Sophie: Well, he’s setting his sights a bit higher now. Braddock Aeronautics is top-shelf.

Eliot: Military aircraft contractors. They used to stamp their logo on the engine cowls of our chopper, and we’d have to file them off before we... went fishing. For fish.

Sophie: Okay. So, there’s been no new deposits from Braddock into his account.

Nate: Okay, Braddock Aeronautics is gonna be back in three days, at which point, they’re gonna pay Kanack. Luckily for us, we’re gonna have the research back in two hours. Right, Hardison?


[Interior Van]

Nate: Hardison?

Hardison: Less, I’d actually like to enjoy the rest of my Sunday.

Parker: He wants to get back to his online ork battle.

Hardison: Is that so wrong?

(Parker adjusts straps on a climbing harness)

Hardison: What you doing?

Parker: The watermarked files are in the server room. The server room is here. We’re taking the vents.

Hardison: Mnh-mnh.

Parker: Mm-hmm.

Hardison: Mnh-mnh. It’s too tight and too dusty. Have you ever seen a dust mite? Dermatophagoides farinae... eight legs, fur, and mandibles. Mandibles, woman. I don’t think so. That’s why I brought this. (pulls out a controller) Say hello to Marvin. Okay? Now this allows me to ping any electronics with an I/O switch and flip its status within a 200-yard radius. On is off, red is green, lock is unlocked.

Parker: Unlocked. I get it. But can it change the channel?

Hardison: Can Marvin change the channel? And can it? I do not know that.

Parker: I’m going in through the vents. Bet I get there first.

Hardison: No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Parker: Winner chooses our next date. Ready, set, go!

Hardison: Wait! I-I wasn’t ready!


[Exterior, Kanack Worldwise Enterprises]

(Hardison looks in the window and uses his controller to scramble the monitors at the security station before opening the door for himself)


[Kanack Worldwise Enterprises]

(Hardison makes his way through the hallways, using his controller to open doors along his route. He gets to the door of the server room and realizes it is locked with a standard key.

Hardison: Oh, geez. Real key?


[Server Room]

(Parker opens the door from inside the room)

Hardison: Seriously?

Parker: I win! I want to go bungee-jumping.

Hardison: Already did that. (hooks his laptop to the computer system)

Parker: Not off a hot-air balloon.

Hardison: I seriously need to win one of these bets.

Parker (waving at camera): Earth to Nate.


[Leverage Headquarters]

(Nate watches Parker on the monitors)

Parker: You can see me, right?

Hardison: Nate, security cams are a go.

Nate: Yes, Parker, I can see you. (sees guards on the monitors) You got company coming.


[Server Room]

Parker: We have to go now.

Hardison: Almost done.

Parker (locks the door): Come on. (begins to climb into the ceiling)

Hardison: I’m trying. Some of these files are huge. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

(guard opens the door to the room and looks around but no one is there)


[Interior Air Vents]

(Hardison climbs through the vents, Parker overcomes him, laying on top of him)

Parker: See? Vents are better.

Hardison: It’s not that bad.

Parker: You’re totally surrounded by, like, a million of those dust-mite things. And you can’t even feel them, can you?

Hardison: Now I can.

Parker: Oh.

Hardison: All over. Okay!

(they awkwardly begin to move down the vent shaft)

Parker: Oh, I’m sorry.

Hardison: Okay, okay. It’s... wait, it... Just let me get... wait.

Parker: Oh. Ow! Ow!

Hardison: Hold it. You okay? Come on, babe.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay. What are we looking at here?

Hardison (using hand sanitizer): You’re looking at files that have been scrubbed clean, something I will never be again.

Sophie: Is that your second bottle?

Hardison: What if it is? Look, Kanack hunted out every bit of code that the client put in there. No digital watermarks. We got nothing.

Nate: Okay, what about those other files... the big ones there?

Hardison: Thought they were something, too, but it turns out they’re just audio recordings of static... hundreds of hours of it.

Nate: Hmm. Play them.

Sophie: Just sounds like one of your “mixes.”

Parker: I like it. Play the next one.

Eliot (enters room): Hardison, I said sea salt. This is iodized salt. Who got the military satellite intercept? You’re not supposed to...

(Sophie gives Eliot a hard look)

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive static.

Hardison: So, Kanack’s listening to the military satellites?

Nate: No, no, he got those signals by accident. Can you show me the server room?

(Hardison changes the display on the monitors)

Nate: He was listening for something else. I don’t know what...

(the monitors show a close up on an image of space)

Nate: For someone else.

Parker: Shut the front door.

Sophie: He puts his name on every invention. He wants fame more than anything else. What’s gonna make him the most famous scientist in the world?

Hardison: Proof that we’re not alone.

Nate: He’s listening to stars for proof of extraterrestrial life.

Parker: Cool. (pokes at Eliot)

Eliot: Oh, Parker.

Parker: Elliott.

Eliot: I’ll snap that off your han...

Sophie: What’s our way in?

Nate: Okay, well, since we can’t prove that Kanack stole the research, we have to appeal to his hunger for fame to get Metz’s money. It’s the only way.

Sophie: It’s not about the money.

Hardison: You want to send him a message from space.

Parker: Well, how does that get us money?

Nate: By convincing him that he’s only listened to half a message. Let’s go steal a close encounter.


[Exterior Field]

(the van pulls up and Eliot gets out, moving around to the back and opening the doors. Hardison joins him)

Hardison: You know, Fermi’s Paradox says that it’s improbable for other life-forms to exist.

Eliot: Yeah? Well, Drake’s equation shows that orbiting around the hundred billion stars in our galaxy, there’s up to 10,000 planets with technological civilization. You never know when you might have to fight an alien.

Hardison: Okay.

Eliot: Why here? What the hell’s out here?

Hardison: Well, the higher we are, the stronger the sky clarity. The atmospheric dilution and wind vector fluctuations...

Eliot (struggles to put on a backpack): Oh. Shut up, Hardison. I don’t... What did you put in here, man? It’s like 200 pounds.

Hardison: Hey, the equipment needs to be strong enough to bounce the signal off of something that makes it seem like it came from deep space.

Eliot: Yeah, a satellite.

Hardison: Yeah. Not just any satellite. The very first satellite. I’m using the same thing they did for project Diana in 1946. I’m using the moon. Let me back it up. The moon. In the daylight.

Eliot: It’s daylight.

Hardison: Really? Nothing? I get nothing? Seriously? Nothing? You know, just... just start walking. I’ll tell you where to go. Start walking, go. Go!

Eliot: The sun’s up.

(Eliot moves away from the van carrying a transmitter/receiver pointed at the sky)


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay, Hardison, you made sure—


[Interior Van]

Nate: --that the message seems realistic, right?

Hardison: You dare doubt me? Elliot…


[Exterior Field]

Hardison: …go left.

Eliot: Why can’t you just set it from here?

Hardison: The signal needs to bounce off the precise—


[Interior Van]

Hardison: --angle of the moon so that Kanack is the only person who receives the message, okay? Every foot counts. Now go left... more.


[Exterior Field]

Eliot: Who listens to aliens anyway?


[Interior Van]

Hardison: Uh, SETI. They listen, they blog, they... Wait, wait. Freeze, freeze!


[Exterior Field]

(Eliot stops)

Hardison: Freeze, freeze, freeze.


[Interior Van]

(Hardison works the computer and the monitor shows that a message has been sent)

Eliot: We done?

Hardison: Yeah, uh, almost. Almost. I’m gonna need you to skip five more steps left.


[Exterior Field]

(Eliot moves to the left)


[Leverage Headquarters]

(Nate watches the monitors as Sophie enters the room)

Hardison: Cool, cool. Uh... Two steps forward.

(Sophie sits down beside Nate)


[Exterior Field]

(Eliot moves forward)

Hardison: Right, right.


[Interior Van]

Hardison: Two steps back.


[Exterior Field]

(Eliot moves back)

Hardison: Right, right.


[Interior Van]

Hardison: Now hop.


[Exterior Field]

(Eliot begins to move, then stops and looks up angrily)


[Interior Van]

Hardison (watching Eliot’s movements on the monitor): Where’s you... where you going? Oh, no.

(the van begins to rock)

Hardison: Hey, man! Lucille’s a classic!


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: His server should get the signal any second now.

Sophie: Why would anyone dedicate so much time listening to nothing?

Nate: For the hope of what they might hear.

Sophie: Funny.

Nate: Hmm?

Sophie: The irony of you taking on someone who listens.

Nate: I’m sorry, what?

Sophie: What?

(On the monitors, Kanack runs from the room)

Nate: Yep! He got it.

Kanack: A signal!


[Listening Station]

Bryden: What... what are you doing?

Kanack: Shh! Listen.

Bryden: What?

Kanack: Shh! Oh, my God.

Bryden: What? What is it?

Kanack: This is definitely it.

Bryden: Definitely what?

Kanack: Shh! Shh! Kip, just please! Shh! (pulls out a print out and circles a line) Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is a message from deep space.

Bryden: Okay. How do you know that?

Kanack: Ever since I found out about the WOW! Signal. From back in 1977, I’ve had my radio telescopes aimed at Chi Sagittarii star group.

Bryden: Okay.

Kanack: The zeroes and the ones here represent lower intensities. The higher numbers represent exponentially higher intensities. This irregular frequency is not natural to anything emitted on earth. (typing on computer)

Bryden: W-w-what are you doing now?

Kanack: It’s called “First Contact” for a reason, Kip. ‘Cause the guy who makes second contact is nobody. Damn it. Somebody close to my antenna’s got the signal, too. Where is this guy? Bingo! Okay, Kip... dismiss the employees. I want security only here while I verify this. And lock this guy down! Go! Do it! Okay, okay!


[Exterior Street]

(Parker puts a tracking device on an SUV)

Sophie: Parker, they’re coming out.

Parker: Got it.

(Bryden and a thug get into the SUV)

Bryden: Take him quietly and grab all his computer equipment.

(van pulls away)

Parker: Nate, we have liftoff. Get it? ‘cause of the...


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Yes. Yes, Parker, I get it. Okay, Elliot, Hardison, Kanack is sending muscle to the location. Make sure you beat him there.

Eliot: Yeah, we’re on it.


[Interior Van]

Eliot: Not gonna win any races in Lucille.

Hardison: Oh, we will with this. I’m programming Marvin for line-of-sight preemption. It’s what ambulances use to manipulate traffic lights in their favor. (uses controller to change the traffic signals, then turns on the radio)

Eliot: What the hell is that?

Hardison: Oh, that’s chase music, baby. Unh. Mixed it myself. Yeah. (singing) Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille/Two good old boys. Feel it.

Both (singing): Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille/Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille. Hey! Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille


[Exterior Trailer]

(Bryden and his men carry computer equipment out of a trailer, then drag Eliot out, a hood over his face as Hardison watches from a distance)

Hardison: Nate, they got him.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay, follow them back and get Parker.


[Listening Station]

(Bryden and his men bring Eliot and his equipment into the room where Kanack is waiting)

Kanack (to men): Thanks. (to Eliot) I apologize for the hood. It was just a safety precaution, since you and I are the only two who received the message.

Eliot: Hey, man, they’re coming for us, all right? They want to breed with us. They want to have superbabies. Lenny was right.

(Kanack pulls off the hood and Eliot looks around crazily)


[Leverage Headquarters]

(Nate and Sophie are watching Eliot talk to Kanack on the monitors)

Nate: Okay. Kanack is biting. Now let’s get him to make the most expensive long-distance call in history.

Sophie: Elliot, I am just loving the choices you’re making with this character. I like the bit with, but... We have to get Kanack to believe, that the message Hardison sent’s authentic.

Nate: Seriously?

Sophie: What? What? Listen, I’m just getting some pract... If I’m gonna run a theater and direct, I’ve got to focus on character development.

Eliot: Oh, I was passed out in my sleeping bag—


[Hallway]

Elliot: --about 80 Miles outside of Eli, Nevada, and me and my buddy Lenny I was telling you about, we started hearing twisted metal and seeing green auras and smelling burning rubber...

Kanack: Look, look, okay, all I care about is the signal that we received. Do you think that you can decipher it, mister...?

Eliot: Riker. Mr. Ri... Well, Willie Riker’s my full name, man. Yeah, if you got the equipment... One time in flagstaff, man, I was just leaning back...

Kanack: Hey, hey, hey! Okay, let’s focus here, Willie, okay? (they enter the listening station) The two of us are after the same thing, so let’s pool our resources and work together as a team. I’ll let you use all of my state-of-the-art equipment here, and once you collect enough data to decipher the signal, the two of us can make the announcement to the world together.

Eliot: There’s enough sensitivity on that receiver to detect an arecibo-sized transmitter from 1,000 light-years away.

Kanack: Do we have a deal or not?

Eliot: Oh, yeah. Can I get an orange soda?

Kanack: Yeah, yeah, you can get an orange soda.

Eliot: Uh-huh. All right.

Kanack (to guard): Don’t let him leave.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay, Parker, Hardison, you’re up.

Parker: We’re on our way.


[Kanack Worldwide Enterprises]

(Parker and Hardison enter the lobby)

Parker: Cave-jumping?

(Parker and Hardison show their badges to the security guard before passing through metal detectors)

Parker: World’s deepest caves are in Potosi, Mexico.

Hardison: You’re really not listening to me about this whole jumping thing, are you.

Parker: Yes, I am.

(Parker and Hardison show badges to a guard at another security desk as they pass it)

Parker: You’re unhappy with the jumps we’ve been doing.

Hardison: Thank you.

Parker: I’m going higher so they can be better.

Hardison: No.

(Kanack and Bryden approach)

Parker: James “Ka-nack.”

Kanack: It’s “Kanack.”

(Parker and Hardison show their badges)

Hardison: What’s up? This is Special Agent Fix. I’m Special Agent Kelsey.

Kanack: Agents. What’s this about?

Parker: We’ve been receiving semi-congruent signals from two federal satellites based out of Western Wyoming.

Hardison: Our records show that you own three radio telescopes with multi-function phased-array radars.

Parker: We just want to make sure you haven’t been receiving any signals that might be a breach of national security.

Bryden: Mm-hmm. And what government agency did you say you were from, exactly?

Hardison: We didn’t.

Kanack: Yeah. This is my head of legal... Mr. Bryden. Mr. Bryden, these two need a warrant if they want to look at my data, don’t they?

Bryden: They do, sir.

Kanack: Yeah, so why don’t you get the hell off my property right now before I have security escort you off?

Hardison: Very well. I guess we’ll see you in a couple days with a warrant. Toodles.

Bryden: Why pick a fight with the government? I’m sure they know about Willie Riker.

Kanack: Alfred Russell Wallace. Alfred Wallace created the theory of evolution years before Charles Darwin, but it’s Darwin’s theory of evolution. Nicola Tesla invented alternating current, but all the power companies are named after Thomas Edison. So why are Darwin and Edison famous? And Tesla and Wallace footnotes? Because history is written by the winners. You get your name on it first, you get it out there the most, then 20 years later, you invented it. This is mankind’s first contact with an alien civilization. James Kanack is the name that everyone’s gonna remember. Willie Riker won’t even rate the footnote.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay, Elliot, time for the next step. Use the clean file that Hardison sent.


[Listening Station]

Kanack: Hey, anything new?

Eliot: Oh, yeah. I cleaned up all the audio with a band-pass filter, then I scrubbed all the interference and as you can see, message pretty clean now. But you’re gonna have to get somebody else in here to decipher it.

Kanack: What the hell are you talking about? I thought you could do this?

Eliot: No. I’m a signals guy. You need a code breaker.

Kanack: Are you kidding me? Well, do you know anyone?

Eliot: Oh, yeah. I got the girl for you. She’s a Professor I met on the web. She’s a cryptanalysist up at Archfield University. Her name’s Dr. Pearl O’Neal. She can come in. You want me to get her in here?

Kanack: Yeah, I want you to get her in. Get her in here! Knucklehead.

Eliot: Don’t have to be so damn rude about it.


[Kanack’s Office]

(Bryden and Kanack look over a file)

Bryden: Doctor’s credentials check out. A PHD from Cambridge, second from Brown University. But I think we need a little bit more time just to...

Sophie (listening to earbud): Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!

Kanack: Well?

Sophie: It’s a basic attempt at communication, but what’s interesting are the peaks of the whistles. There’s a pattern. Three peaks, four peaks, and so on. It’s every other number of the first 20 digits of pi.

Kanack: What does that mean?

Sophie: It’s a mathematical sequence. Whoever sent you this message wants you to send the missing numbers back. If I may be so... Who sent it to you?

Kanack: It’s a colleague of mine from Paris. It’s nothing, really. Just a little game that we scientists play, try to stump each other. Thank you very much for your time, Professor. Oh. (gives her a check) Yeah, and here you go.

Sophie: Oh. No, I mustn’t. No, I shouldn’t.

Kanack: Well, consider it a consulting fee, and, uh... as my consultant, I’m sure you understand the need for absolute discretion, yes?

Sophie (takes check): Oh, yes. Thank you. Thank you.


[Listening Station]

Kanack: You were right. Your Professor cracked the code. Okay, send the following numbers back to them.

Eliot: Send? It’s a message, there’s no sending. You got to have something you can send it with.

Kanack: What are you talking about?! What about my parabolic satellite antenna?

Eliot: No, it’s not gonna work.

Kanack: Why not?

Eliot: The higher you go, the stronger the sky clarity. You got atmospheric dilution. You’ve got wind—


[Leverage Headquarters]

Eliot: --vector fluctuations...

Hardison: I taught him that.

Kanack: Okay. Just tell me... what do I need? Just tell me what...

Eliot: You need something beyond, man. You need—


[Listening Station]

Eliot: --something that maintains orbital position. You need a geostationary satellite. You got one of those? I don’t have one.

Kanack: Get one of those... geostationary satellite.

Bryden: Mr. Kanack, sir, if I may, launching even a small satellite into orbit is exorbitantly expensive. We can’t...

Kanack: I’m not asking you, Kip.

Eliot: It’s not gonna work.

Kanack: I’m telling you. Get me a satellite dealer in an hour or you’re fired. Do it!

Bryden: Okay.

Eliot: You’re gonna get fired, man.

Bryden: Excuse me. (typing on keyboard)

Kanack: And shut up!


[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Okay. There’s only one place in Portland area that has what Kanack needs... Annandale Communications. What do we know about their broker?

Hardison (pulls up info): Roger Bosley is the V.P. Of sales and accounts in their satellite department. He’s got a wife and two kids. He gives the occasional lecture at Portland state. He’s allergic to shellfish.

Nate: Okay, that’s enough.

(telephone rings)

Hardison: Hey. It’s Kanack for Bosley.

Parker (answering phone): Roger Bosley’s office.


[Kanack’s Office]

Kanack: This is James Kanack. I’d like to meet with Mr. Bosley as soon as possible.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: I’m so sorry. Mr. Bosley’s out of the office for the next... Week.

Kanack: Do you know when he’ll be back?

Parker: Mm, I’m so sorry Mr. Karmak, but that is personal business.

Kanack: It’s Kanack, and I might stress the urgency of my meeting with him. His last two mortgage—


[Kanack’s Office]

Kanack: --payments have defaulted. I’m just trying to help him save his house.

Parker: My apologies, but—


[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: --you cannot contact Mr. Bosley tonight. Will tomorrow morning do?


[Kanack’s Office]

Kanack: Sure.


[Leverage Headquarters]

(Parker and Hardison fist bump)

Parker: Will it?



[Hallway]

Nate (to woman): Hey, thanks a lot. You know, this place is like a maze... east tower, west tower. Somebody ought to mark these buildings differently. You know, it’s just so... I get lost, and it’s crazy.

(Bryden and Kanack approach, Kanack looking at a picture of Nate on his phone)

Nate: Oh, and... and tell that boss of yours that I don’t launch private GPS sputniks for less than 150. That’s firm!

Kanack: Excuse me. Mr. Roger Bosley.

Nate (into phone): Yeah, um... no, of course they’re gonna go for it. They don’t come back in two hours, I’ll eat the commission myself.

Kanack: Excuse me. You are Mr. Roger Bosley?

Nate: Yeah, that’s me. Yeah. Bev told you I was here, right?

Kanack: No. Listen, it’s very important that we talk to you right now.

Nate (to man): Hey, good job earlier.

Man: Thanks.

Nate (to Kanack): I’m sure it is. You know, this is what happens when you hire family. You know what I’m talking about? All right. How can I help you gentlemen?

Kanack: I’m James Kanack. This is my lawyer Kip Bryden, and we are very interested in purchasing and launching into orbit one of your satellites. As soon as possible.

Nate: As soon as possible. Can you narrow that down a bit?

Kanack: Well, how about yesterday?

Nate: Yesterday. Well... Mister, uh... mister... hold on a second. (into phone) Not now. (to Kanack) Mr. Kojack...

Kanack: Kanack.

Nate: They didn’t hire me at Annandale Communications because, you know, I gave free bagels at my open houses. You know what I mean? No, they brought me here because I was South Beach realtor of the year eight years straight.

Kanack: I don’t know what that means.

Nate: Geostationary orbit in South Beach. It’s all real estate.

Kanack: What? I have money.

Nate: Well, I’m very happy for you, but I’m not in the business of tossing up some microwave oven up into space so you can name it after your girlfriend. Okay, now, owning one of our satellites is a $32 million investment. You got your equipment, you got your licensing, you got your launch, you know, a spot on the orbital ring. A deal like that is two years, minimum. There is no “as soon as possible.” It doesn’t work that way. Sorry I couldn’t help you. (starts to walk away)

Kanack: Come on. There’s got to be something we can do. I’ll pay anything.

Nate (comes back): It, um... Anything? It would have to be under the table.

Kanack: Yeah. Of course.

Nate: Okay. My boss has a satellite. It’s his own private satellite, okay? He cannot find out.

Kanack: No, not at all. I understand.

Nate: Now, what I could probably muster up is, uh, some piggyback time on the cockatoo... Say 500 hours.

Kanack: And what’s the price?

Nate: Shh. $1 million into my Antigua offshore account, okay? I’ll give you the routing information. I happen to have it written down right here. Keep it just... (walks away)

Bryden: Excuse me.

Kanack: Make the transfer, Kip. We’re doing this.


[Listening Station]

Kanack: All right. Got our satellite. These are the instructions on how to operate it. Start sending the following sequence of numbers... Every other number in pie, okay?

Eliot: Yeah, yeah.

Kanack: You listening? You get it?

Eliot: Yeah.

Kanack: All right. Just send it over and over and over and over again. Good. All right. Here we go.


[Brew Pub]

Nate: Okay, didn’t get your watermarked files back, (hands Oren a check) but I’m sure you will see that you have been well-compensated by your former employer. That’s a lot of money.

Oren: Yeah. (pushes check back at Nate) I-I’m sorry.

Nate: What? Okay. It’s not about the money. Never was about the money. No. You want your reputation back.

Oren: Appreciate the help. Thanks for trying.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: He knows there’s no return policy, right? I mean, he’s pretty much supposed to just keep the big pile of money.

Parker: Here. I’ll take the check and plant it in his wallet.

Hardison: Whoa, hey. Easy, shorty. I’ll just transfer it directly into his account.

Nate: Stop. (looks at Sophie) You knew?

Sophie: I listened.

Nate: Okay. We need to fix this. We need to give our client back his reputation.

Parker: How do we do that?

Nate: By making Kanack insane.

Hardison: And he’s back.

Sophie: The Arkham Ascent?

Nate: Hardison, send him another signal. He thinks he made first contact? We’re gonna send him a message he never forgets.


[Listening Station)

Kanack (entering): What is it?

Eliot (hands him a readout): We got another one, man. They called back. Is this place safe? ‘Cause my buddy Lenny I was telling you about was in one of the same...

Kanack: Shut up about Lenny, okay?! I need this clarified right now.

Eliot (stands): Listen, big man... Lenny was taken! All right? You’re not careful, the same thing is gonna happen to you.

Kanack: What are you talking about?

Eliot: You think they’re happy just passing notes back and forth like little girls? Yeah, you found them. That means they found you.

Bryden (entering): Federal agents are back.

Kanack: Stall them. And you... get back to work.

Eliot: All right, but... (sits at keyboard, muttering) Put your hands on me, I’ll break your frigging clavicle.


[Leverage Headquarters]

Sophie: So, go... the Arkham Ascent.

Nate: The Arkham Ascent is really just the haunted house without the chains.

Sophie: Yeah. (answers phone) Hello, Mr. Kanack. Yes. Yes, of course. I’ll be there right away. (hangs up) Ah. Somebody got our message.

Nate: All right, well, now it’s time to tighten the buckles on the straightjacket.


[Lobby]

Hardison (to guard as he puts on sunglasses): Know the difference between us and them? We make this look good.

Parker: Mm-hmm. Incoming.

(Kanack enters lobby)

Kanack: Hey! I thought I told you guys... No warrant, no entry. Wh...

(Hardison hands Kanack a warrant)

Kanack: Oh, you have a warrant now?

Sophie (entering): Mr. Kanack! Oh, sorry. Is it a bad time? Because...

Kanack: No, no, no. It’s not a bad time at all, Professor O’Neal. It’s fine. (to Hardison) Your search... make it fast.

Parker: Thank you for your cooperation.

Kanack: Yeah. Right this way, Professor O’Neal.

(Hardison shows Parker the wording of the warrant ‘CANDLELIGHT PICNIC UNDER THE STARS)

Parker: Ooh. Fire. I do like fire.

Hardison: You see. You listen, yet you don’t hear.


[Listening Station]

(Kanack and Sophie enter the room. Eliot gives Sophie the headphones)

Kanack: Here it is. Okay. Work together, work fast, and I’ll make it worth your while. Yeah?

(Sophie puts on headphones. Kanack and Bryden exit the room)


[Hallway]

Bryden: Look, Braddock Aeronautics is close enough to taste. We’re bringing federal agents and nutcases into our house... You’re gonna crash the deal.

Kanack: Will you shut up about the stupid deal, already? Okay, these two nutcases are about to hand me the biggest discovery in human history, and you can’t even see it.


[Listening Station]

(Eliot hands Sophie a printout. She looks at it and at a display, making notes)

Sophie: Thank you.


[Hallway]

Kanack: Einstein, Darwin... they’re gonna be the footnotes. They’re gonna name cities after me.

(Sophie taps on the glass to get Kanack’s attention)

Kanack: Yeah. Just let me worry about the deal, okay?

Bryden: Okay.

Kanack: Don’t worry about it.


[Listening Station]

Kanack (entering): What, what, what, what?

Sophie: Well... We used the same pi sequence to decode the message, but this time... look.

Kanack: What?

Sophie: Each number... Represents a different character in the Mayan alphabet. Oh.

Eliot: She gets it, man. She really gets it.

Sophie: Oh, I do. I do. Well, okay.

Kanack: But what does it mean? Get what?

Sophie: Well, well, roughly, because it’s not an exact science, but... all right. “He who comprehends these words is worthy of our presence.” Oh! I just... if I just had a bit more time.

Kanack: No, no, no, no, no, no. You’ve... Done plenty. Great. Thank you so much. I’m gonna double your last payment.

Sophie: Wow.

Kanack: Great. Thank you.

(Kanack hands Sophie off to guards who escort her from the room)

Eliot: I’m the one that put the numbers up.

Kanack: Hey, burn that on a CD. Burn it on a CD... quick! (exits)


[Hallway]

Kanack: Get me New World Science magazine, Journal of Astronomy, all the major publications. Tell them I have a huge announcement to make here tomorrow morning.

Bryden: That’s when Braddock Aeronautics is coming.

Kanack: Yeah, well, they can wait, okay? I’m this close to making history. Oh, and call Riley. The Professor doesn’t leave. I want everybody on ice until I make the announcement.


[Exterior, Kanack Worldwide Enterprises]

Guard (into phone): I’ve got the Professor.

(Guard grabs Sophie as she exits the building)

Sophie: I...

(Nate punches guard and knocks him down)

Sophie: Wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Nate: Elliot, you got trouble headed your way.


[Listening Station]

Eliot (face hitting window): You think?

(Eliot fights off one guard and another tackles him)


[Exterior, Kanack Worldwide Enterprises]

Nate: Now, listen, the only way this con works is if there’s no sign of struggle.


[Listening Station]

(Eliot hits a set of shelves, barely catching something before it falls to the ground)

Nate: Don’t let anything break.

(Eliot hits the second guard in the face with the object he caught then puts it back on the shelf. Another guard hits him in the back with a binder, knocking another award off, Eliot catches it, puts it back, and turns to attack the guard. They exchange blows and Eliot knocks the guard back, then puts the binder carefully on the ground. Both guards attack Eliot at once, but he fights them off, knocking one into the shelves. Eliot lunges to catch a trophy before it falls to the ground, and one of the guards falls on him. Parker enters with a bin and points to her mouth, then to Eliot, where he is bleeding)

Parker (imitating ET): Ouch.

Eliot: Parker, would you stop with that? And help me get these damn guys off my back!

(Parker helps Eliot get the man off his back)

Eliot: Pick the guys up and put them in the bin.

(they pick the men up and start loading them in the bin)

Eliot: Hang on.

Parker: What?

Eliot: I got an idea.


(later, Kanack looks through the door of the Listening Station and finds only the men’s boots)

Kanack: Harold? Miller?

(he enters the room and finds only the CD he told Eliot to burn)


[Hallway]

Kanack: Harold! Riley! Miller!

(Kanack finds another pair of boots in the hallway. He continues through the building finding only boots at various locations. Eventually he approaches a set of doors and Eliot falls through them, taking Kanack to the ground with him)

Kanack: What? What? What? What? What happened?! (holds Eliot) Who did this to you?!

Eliot: It’s not who, man. It’s what.

Kanack: What?

Eliot: They ripped me out of my chair. They opened me up.

Kanack: The aliens? What do they... what do they want?

Eliot: They want the one. Them signals, it wasn’t a hello. It was a test.

Kanack: A test for what? A test for what?

Eliot: It was a test. It was... they want the best of the best, man. I told them it was you.

Kanack: Me?! What?!

Eliot: They were hurting me, man. I’m sorry.

Kanack: No!

Eliot (weakly): I’m sorry. (passes out)

Kanack: Riker. Come on. No, no. Come on. Riker! Riker! What... Riker. (scrambles away, running through the halls)


[Listening Station]

(Kanack enters and darkens all the lights, leaving only the security cameras on. A bright light shines outside the room, flooding the area. Kanack panics and runs)


[Hallway]

(Eliot sits up, looking around)

Eliot: That sucked.


[Interior Van]

(Hardison and Nate are watching the monitors)

Hardison: Huh. Marvin does change the channel.

(they watch as Kanack enters his office and picks up a golf putter)

Hardison: Oh, come on. These dudes traveled 10,000 light-years to get here. You’re gonna scare them off with a putter?

Nate: Okay, Sophie, you’re up.


[Hallway]

Sophie: Just so you know, I really, really hate you.


[Interior Van]

Nate: Hmm. Don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe. Ish.


[Kanack’s Office]

(lights, monitors and phones are going crazy)

Kanack (answering phone): Hello? Hello?! (trying cell phone) Hello?


[Interior Van]

Nate: Parker, cue the music.


[Kanack’s Office]

(a high pitched ringing sound is heard. Kanack covers his ears)


[Flashback]

(Hardison and Parker place several speakers outside of Karnack’s window)


[Kanack’s Office]

(Karnack continues to panic as a bright green light shines into the room the coffee maker spouts coffee, and the refrigerator throws pop cans across the room)


[Flashback]

(Parker puts something into the coffee maker and Hardison installs compressed air in the refrigerator)


[Kanack’s Office]

(Karnack looks up to see Sophie pounding on the window, the light shining behind her)

Sophie: Please, Mr. Kanack! Mr. Kanack, please let me in, Mr. Kanack! Please, Mr. Kanack! Let me in! Mr. Kanack, please! Mr. Kanack, let me in!

Kanack: No!

Sophie: It’s not me they want, Mr. Kanack! It’s... (begins levitating up the glass) No! No! (is sucked away into a vortex of light) No!

(Karnack stares at the glass, overwhelmed)


[Exterior Van]

(Parker strips a climbing harness from Sophie as Eliot fiddles with machinery and Hardison and Nate exit the van)

Sophie: That’s the last time that I lie about playing Peter Pan on Broadway.

Parker: Mm-hmm.

Hardison: I programmed the electronics and the lighting to go haywire intermittently for the rest of the night.

Nate: Good.

Hardison: You don’t think he’ll try to leave?


[Kanack’s Office]

(Karnack crouches in a corner, still panicked)


[Exterior Van]

Nate: Would you?

Parker: Hey.

Hardison: Hey.

Parker: This gives me a good idea.

Hardison: Whatever it is, no.

Nate: That was nice work back there, Elliot.

Eliot (with accent): Oh, man, he flipped. He flipped like a coin. I wish Lenny would have seen it. (normal voice) Hardison gave me the alias, and then Sophie helped me build the character. (walks away)

Sophie: Oh, we just gave him layers. You know, I don’t know why Stanley Kubrick made directing look so hard. It’s... it’s not that hard.


[Kanack’s office]

(Kanack is crouched under his desk still holding the putter. The office is a mess)

Bryden: James. What are you...? What are you doing?

Kanack: Don’t let them get me. Don’t let them get me. Don’t let them get me.

Bryden (pulls Kanack out from under desk): Look, look, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.

Kanack: Don’t let them get me.

Bryden: Who? Who?

Kanack: Them. Them. (sits down)

Bryden: You haven’t slept, okay? You need rest. Now, I’m gonna go tell the press to come back tomorrow.

Kanack: What?

Bryden: I’m gonna tell the press to come back tomorrow.

Kanack: The press are here?

Bryden: Yes.

Kanack: Right now?

Bryden: Yes.

Kanack: No. Oh... okay. (stands) No, I got to... I got this. I got to tell them. I got to be the one to tell them. I got to tell them that I made first contact. I’m good. Let’s go.


[Conference Room]

Bryden: Excuse me. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for waiting. Thank you. Members of the press, today, we are pleased to announce the sale of the Kanack Hybrid Jet Engine...

Kanack (pushes Bryden out of the way): No, no, no, no, no. We’re not doing that. We’re not doing that! What I have to say to you today is so much bigger than that. In fact, it rivals any discovery in human history. There’s fire, the wheel, electricity, and what I’m about to tell you. Now, as many of you already know, I have the largest array of radio telescopes on the west coast. Two days ago, I received this message from outer space. (shows a series of numbers on an overhead projector) That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. I, James Kanack, have made first contact...

(Eliot walks into the room)

Kanack: You’re dead. You’re dead. I saw you die. I saw you die. You went up in their ship. You said that they probed you.

(Eliot pretends he doesn’t know what Kanack is talking about. Sophie enters the room)

Kanack: What’s going on?

(a low buzzing begins to sound)

Do you... do you hear that? That’s them! You hear that, right? That’s them!


[Flashback]

Parker: Thank you for your cooperation. (places a device on Kanack’s back)

Kanack: Right this way, please.

(Eliot passes out in Kanack’s arms)

Kanack: Riker!


[Conference Room]

(Kanack spins, looking for the source of sound. The device is still on the back of his jacket)

Kanack: What... What the... what... No!

(press begins to leave the room)

Kanack: Why are you after me?! I didn’t do anything! I... I didn’t decipher the message! You don’t want me! You want the... he did it! He did it... right there! She did it! Go after them! Don’t probe me!

Nate (to Executive): Oh, you remember Oren Metz, the real inventor of the hybrid jet engine. Why don’t you two get acquainted?

(Oren shows Executive his notebook)

Executive: Those are your sketches.

Oren: Uh, yes, sir.

Executive (leading Oren away): Okay.

Kanack: Wait. Where are you going? No, no, no, no, no, no! Sit down! I have the message right here. Everybody, sit down! Listen.


[Flashback]

(Hardison enters his work area)

Eliot: Okay, Elliot, there are two files encrypted in this message. Play the first one for Kanack. It’s the Mayan code. Burn the second one to the CD. It’s a masterpiece.


[Conference Room]

(Hardison’s chase music begins to play)

Kanack: No, come on. Come on! What is this?! Come on! What’s going on?! Come on. No!

Sophie: Sad.

(Nate, Sophie and Eliot turn to go)

Eliot: Yeah, well, I just had that song out of my head.

Sophie: Well, it’s catchy.

Kanack: Hey! Wait, no! No, help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!

(Nate pauses to look at Kanack through the window)

Kanack: You...


[Brew Pub]

Oren: You cleared my name. Braddock Aeronautics offered me a research position to continue developing my engine.

Nate: That’s fantastic.

Oren: I-I can’t thank you enough, Mr. Ford.

Nate: Well, you know, actually, I should be thanking you.

Oren: For what?

Nate: For reminding me to listen. I appreciate it. (they shake)

Sophie: Bye.

(Oren leaves)

Sophie: Nate... Why didn’t you tell him that you created a research grant in his name?

Nate: Oh, his joy is in his work. He doesn’t care about recognition. I just didn’t read him right from the start.

Sophie: I knew you’d get there eventually.

Nate: Well, what happens when “eventually” comes too late?


[Leverage Headquarters]

(Parker enters with a picnic basket and flowers)

Hardison: Hey. Problem? (sees basket) Oh. Well, a picnic under the stars. You listened.

Parker: Everything’s ruined with this stupid rain. I’m sorry. I tried.

Hardison: Close your eyes. Close them. Don’t peek. Close them. (dims the lights and turns on pin lights) Nothing is ruined. Okay. Now.

(Parker looks around and smiles)

Hardison: Hmm?

Parker (points finger at Hardison’s heart, imitating ET): I’ll be right here.

(they hug)

The End

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