(gunshots ring out as Nate and Sophie run beside a pool to escape. Bullets ricochet and the pair dives behind some crates for safety)
Sophie: Oh! Just letting you know, if we die, I blame you.
Nate: I know.
Sophie: None of this would have happened if youíd just gone to the movies like I told you.
Nate: Yeah, if Iíd gone to the movies, youíd be in jail right now.
(another bullet ricochets)
Sophie: Jail is a big improvement on my current prospect of soon to be murdered.
Nate: Oh, hey. I just heard from the others. Theyíre gonna stay in D.C.
Sophie: I know. Parker texted me.
Nate: I mean, for the next two days, Leverage Consulting is closed. No work, no cases. How will we pass that time?
(Sophie leans in as if to kiss him, then pulls out a flier)
Sophie: With murder.
Nate: Portland Film Noir Festival?
Sophie: I know how you love a murder mystery. There are five of them.
Nate: ďMystery Street,Ē 1950? Nobody shows ďMystery Street.Ē I mean, itís incredible. Itís the first mainstream movie that shows forensic science in murder investigations. The entire plot hinges on this, uh, forensic anthropology slide show.
Sophie: Unh-unh! Spoilers. (lays down a ticket)
Nate: What? One ticket? Itís one ticket.
Sophie: Well, darling, Iím sorry. I canít join you. My theater is a wreck. Iíve got to sort out the rehearsal schedule, Iíve got a guy coming over to look at the lighting...
Nate: Wait, so youíre not gonna...
Sophie: I know. Iím gonna be slaving away in a dusty, old theater while you sit back and relax and watch alcoholic, repressed insurance cops harassing tragically misunderstood femme fatales. (kisses him)
Nate: Youíre not supposed to root for the criminals.
Sophie: Always root for the home team. (blows him a kiss)
(a crowd is gathered, mingling and drinking)
Katrina: Iím afraid most of the artwork has already been sold. Iím sorry, miss, um... (begins walking away)
Sophie (follows her): Collins. From the London Museum of Art. No, no, no. You misunderstand. Weíre not looking to acquire any work. I just want to view these incredible paintings.
Katrina: Oh. I know. Iíve been curating Mr. Gaultís collection here at the house since I was in grad school. Jonas made my career. Seeing this collection broken up just weeks after his death is...
Sophie: I know. Why would the family do that?
Eleanor: Liar! Jonas wanted me to live in the guest house!
Fiona: Heís gone, and I want you gone, as well. Come on. I want you out...
Katrina: His daughter canít cash the checks fast enough.
Sophie: Bit of a lush, I see.
Katrina: Actually, thatís his fourth ex-wife. His daughterís the one in the suit. Could you, um, pardon me, please? (walks away)
Woodman: Excuse me. Iím sorry. I know this sounds cheesy, but have I met you before?
Sophie: Oh, no, I donít think so. Um, Lady Covington-Smythe. Charmed.
Woodman: Woodman Gault.
Sophie: Oh, Jonasí son. Oh, Iím... Iím sorry to hear of your loss.
Woodman: He was sick for a long time, but at least we got close over the last year.
Sophie: Well, a father and son should leave nothing unsaid at the end.
(Paulo approaches, replacing Sophieís empty wine glass)
Sophie: Ah. Thank you. Ah, youíre very kind.
Paolo: With the mister tragically passed, I have little else to do, madam. I prefer to serve.
Woodman: Thatís Paolo, my dadís manservant for 20 years.
Woodman: Yeah. Do you know, I am sure Iíve met you somewhere.
Sophie: Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.
Nate: I doubt that.
(chokes on her drink)
Nate: Um... Her ladyship dealt with your fatherís overseas division.
Woodman: Huh. Well, I better be, uh... (walks away)
Nate: Of course.
Sophie: You think youíre so clever.
Nate: I deduced your location at a random event within 100-mile radius in under 20 minutes. Iíve had worse mornings. Is this a, um, German Riesling?
Sophie: New Zealand. How did you find me, exactly?
Nate: Ah, why did you lie to me?
Sophie: Oh, itís just like old times, isnít it? Me in the dress and up to my neck in easy marks and valuable art, and you show up, all serious.
Nate: There is a distinct lack in you telling me why you lied to me in that last speech. Now, why is a grifter and art thief...
Sophie: Ex-art thief.
Nate: Öat a high-end art auction?
Sophie: Asks the insurance cop.
Nate: Ex-insurance investigator. Still stalling.
Sophie: Itís a personal thing. I-Iím a fan of his work.
Nate: Jonas Gault, the tycoon?
Katrina: The artist, Jean Mettier, the greatest artist of the French retro school, His brief career tragically cut short with his death in 1989. Since that tragedy, Jonas Gault painstakingly assembled the single greatest collection of Mettier in the world. Thanks to his daughter, Fiona, the new C.E.O. Of Gault Instruments, and the hard work of the Gault family lawyer, Mr. Reinhold Shecter, we can now share this collection with other discerning art aficionados.
Sophie: There. Iím just a big fan of Mettier. Where else could I have seen so much of his work? Thatís all. But the auctionís over. And theyíre just gonna announce who bought what, so we should...
(Sophie tries to move away but Nate grabs her arm)
Nate: Thatís all?
Sophie: Thatís all.
Schecter: Of course, thatís not all. Whatís left is Ma MystŤre. Would those of you who have purchased a special pass, please join us in the vault anteroom. (spills wine) Oh, god.
(Nate holds out his hand, Sophie gives him a ticket)
Man: Honey, whereís your ticket?
Woman: I had it. It was in my pocket.
Guard: Tickets? Here you are.
Nate: So, Ma MystŤre.
Sophie: Jean Mettierís legendary first painting, and there are no pictures of it, no reproductions. Itís never been sold or exhibited. He... he described it once as his inspiration. He wrote that it belonged to no one but him.
Nate: Hmm. And youíre here to steal it?
Sophie: No, I just... Itís personal.
Nate: You wonít give up any of your secrets still, huh?
Sophie: How did you find me?
Fiona: My father acquired the painting after Mettierís death and honored the artistís wishes. Frankly, I would have put in a ticket booth and charged admission. But for over 20 years, my father kept Ma MystŤre locked in this vault, where he and only he would come down and look at it every day. And now, our family lawyer, Mr. Shecter, will open the vault, and you will be the first to see what inspired a genius.
(Shecter opens an envelope with the com to the vault and opens the door expectantly.)
Shecter (gasps): Oh, my god. (softly) Ma MystŤreís been stolen. (louder) Ma MystŤreís been stolen.
(Nate pulls Sophie away)
Sophie: Well, Iíll be buggered.
Nate: A world-famous painting goes missing. And, oh, look, thereís a world-famous art thief happens to be on the premises.
Sophie: Ex-art thief. And I didnít do anything. I was standing right next to youó
Nate: óand I barely believe that. But if somebody like...
Sterling (from behind them) : Hello, Nate.
(turns to look at Sterling)
Sterling: Give us back the painting and save yourself a lot of bother, Ms... Still going by Devereaux?
Sophie: Still a pompous ass?
(several agents grab Nate and Sophie and lead them away)
Nate: Youíre Interpol. You donít have the authority to do any of this.
Sterling: Art theft, as you know, is an $8 billion-a-year business used to fund racketeering and terrorism. My new department at Interpol, which I created...
Nate: Ah, we should have sent a card.
Sophie: We should have.
Sterling: Öintends to choke off the money at the source. The Gault collection is a high-profile target. And here we have the most valuable piece in that collection gone missing and my favorite art thief on the premises.
Sophie: Ex-art thief. Ex-art thief! Why does nobody take that seriously?
Nate: Well, I mean, because... You know, sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence.
Sterling: Not where Annie Kroy A.K.A. Felicity Shaw A.K.A. Indira Mccallister A.K.A. Sophie Devereaux is concerned.
Nate: Oh, wait. Hold on. Excuse me. (to Sophie) Indira Mccallister? Seriously?
Sophie: Hmm? What?
Nate: How come I donít know that... I know all of the aliases.
Sophie: Darling, nobody knows all of them, not even me.
Sterling: Excuse me.
Sterling: Can we get back on point?
Nate: Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
Sterling: The painting, Ma MystŤre, valued at 5 million euro, missing.
Sophie: Oh. Well, look, I couldnít hide a cocktail napkin in this dress, let alone a painting, so...
Nate: Which, by the way, looks just amazing on you.
Sophie: Thank you. I got it in Paris when we went on that little...
Sterling: Obviously, you donít have it on you and you didnít have time to get it off the grounds. So, where is it?
Nate: Sterling, the thing about it is, is that you donít have evidence on either one of us about this. I mean, I know that must be very annoying...
Sterling: Youíre right. I donít have the proof... yet. But I can keep you here... right here... until I do get the proof.
(Sterling gestures to one of the agents, who take hold of Sophie and handcuffs her to Nate)
Sophie: Oh, hands. Grabby. Theyíre very grabby.
Nate: Sterling, you owe me.
Sterling: Yes, I do. Thatís why Iím bothering to gather evidence before I send you to our secret prison.
Sophie: Huh? Huh? What?
Sophie: Whatíd he say?
(Sterling and his agents leave the room. Sophie pulls a pin form her hair and picks the handcuffs)
Sophie: I hate that man. I donít know how you were ever partners with him. (releases Nateís cuff)
Nate: Well, heís funny in his own kind of way.
Sophie: Oh, yeah. Hilarious. That crack about secret prison.
Nate: Oh, no, he was serious about that. (pulls out lock pick and goes to work on the door)
Sophie: This is all your fault, Nate. You couldnít just leave well enough alone. Oh, no, no, no, no. ďIím Nate Ford. Something going on that doesnít involve me. I canít have that!Ē
Nate: ďGoing onĒ? Whatís going on?
Sophie: If youíre gonna use your sexy voice, you can take these.
(she kisses Nateís cheek and holds up the handcuffs. He smiles and takes them, then opens the door for her)
Sophie: Youíre on his side. You think I stole it. A snatch from a vault with no exit, no prep? Iíd never be such an amateur.
Nate: Oh, and stealing would be wrong. Now, the only way weíre gonna get Sterling off your back is to give him the painting.
Sophie: Which, because I did not steal it, I do not have.
Nate: Well, then we find out who does, and we hand him over.
Shecter: I know that gentleman upstairs questioning everyone is Interpol. But youíre undercover Interpol? (turns to see Sophie and Nate)
Nate: Well, of course we are. Who else would we be? I mean, if we were the thieves, Do you really think weíd be hanging around here?
Shecter: Of course.
Sophie: Tell us about the security on the painting.
Shecter: The keypad opens the vault door. Hereís also an RFID tag on Ma MystŤre itself. Moving the painting should have triggered the alarm.
Sophie: And is there a way to deactivate the system?
Shecter: Jonas gave me the code. I was the only one he trusted. But I only used it moments before bringing people down to the vault.
Sophie: Oh, so we would have seen someone trying to steal the painting then.
Nate: Yes. Now, with the painting gone, who gets the insurance settlement?
Shecter: Woodman was disowned years ago, So Fiona and Eleanor would split it. I already told the Interpol man upstairs that.
Sophie: Yes, of course. Thank you so much. Weíll take it from here. (gestures for him to leave)
Nate: Yeah. Thank you for your cooperation. Thank you so much. (hands him an empty glass) Could you just drop that off? Thank you. Thank you.
(Shecter leaves. Nate examines the vault)
Sophie: You do know that heís going straight up to talk to Sterling, donít you?
Nate: This is a two-tiered Glen-Reeder 2700 museum-quality alarm. It would take two days to crack. Some of the keys are worn.
Sophie: Ah, combination. Same keys used over and over. Listen, you do know that this isnít about you taking Sterlingís side, donít you?
Nate: Iím not taking anyoneís sides, especially not Sterlingís. Now, listen, he... Shecter... spilled a drink upstairs, and his hand when he just shook it, sticky. Give me the... give me the works.
(she pulls out a compact and hands it to Nate who brushes the keypad with her powder)
Sophie: You think Iím lying.
Nate: Well, you did lie to me.
Sophie: About the auction. I just thought youíd find the whole thing rather boring.
Nate: Yeah, and it turned out to be a quiet event, didnít it? Hmm. (looks at dusted keys) What do you see?
Sophie: Someone who canít turn their brain off. Stop thinking just for a second and feel. Trust me.
Nate: No, no. Come here. Look. On the keys, what do you see?
Sophie: Oh. Um... Fingerprints.
Sophie: But not on the keys that are worn.
Nate: Yeah, now, you know, Shecter entered the combination. It was a different combination than Jonas Gault had been using for the last 20 years. Someone changed the code.
Sophie: Someone changed the code.
Nate: Now, Jonas Gault is the only one who had access to the combination, so, clearly, he changed the combination before he died. And... (sighs) I would so much love to trust you, but you make it so hard because youíre still hiding something. And I know youíre just trying to charm me into, uh, telling you how I found you.
Sophie: Mnh-mnh. No. Thatís not how it...
Nate: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Sophie: Wait. How did you find me? How did you find me?
Paolo: Nothingís been touched since Mr. Gault... You know.
(Nate looks at a bottle of pills on the bedside table)
Sophie: Iíll always remember the time he sent me 500 red roses and a troupe of balladeers for my sweet 16.
Paolo: That was the mister. Romantic heart, but weak in the end.
Sophie: Thank you so much for allowing us this time to commune with whatever bits of his spirit may still be lingering. (gesturing him toward the door)
Paolo: Of course.
Sophie: Right? What are we looking for?
Nate: Glasses are on the wrong side of the bed.
Sophie: Huh. Right. Reading lamp there, books there. What was he reading on this side?
Nate: Uh, last job would be in the buffer. Hit ďprint.Ē
(Sophie hits print on the printer and examines the page that prints)
Sophie: Hmm. Alarm-company printout of the times that the vault was accessed.
Sophie: The first ones are at regular intervals.
Nate: Gaultís daily visits.
Sophie: Right. But on the day that he died, there are six entries and exits all clustered together.
Nate: Okay, well, that wasnít him, not with that walker.
Sophie: Something makes Jonas Gault suspicious. He calls up the vault entries and sees that someoneís been going in and out. So he changes the alarm code.
Nate: And then conveniently dies. This isnít just an art theft.
Together: Itís murder.
(Sophie and Nate walk down the stairs, followed by Sterling)
Sophie: Oh. Sterling. good, come on.
Sterling: Is this an escape? Ďcause if ut is, youíre very bad at it.
Nate: Gault was murdered by the same person who stole that painting.
Sterling: Sophie murdered Jonas Gault?
Nate: Gault was on a fistful ofó
Nate: ómedications. Nazaprine, achnofoline for his heart And miridium for blood thinners.
Sophie: Look at the prescription, the date he died, and count the pills. There are a dozen missing.
Sterling: Anyone could have stolen those.
Nate: Yeah, or somebody could cut open the gel caps, take the medicine out, dumped it into the glass that Gault kept by his bedside, hmm? Now, an old man dies, nobody cares, right? Now, if it were me... (opens a drainage access point and pulls out a basket) I wouldnít just throw away the empty gel caps. (basket contains the empty gel caps)
Sterling: Iíd flush them down the sink.
Sophie: Designed to dissolve in the stomach.
Nate: Takes two weeks to dissolve in water.
Sophie: Also, Jonas Gault was sure that someone had gained access to the vault.
Sterling: Assuming this is true, the killer would need constant access to get into the vault this number of times. Itís a member of the household.
(Nate nods and Sophie walks away)
Nate: Okay, so weíve got Shecter, the family lawyer.
Shecter (on phone): The estate sale has gone to hell.
Nate: Then youíve got Katrina Hardt, the art curator. Collections kept in the house.
Katrina (talking to Fiona): I-I-Iíve never been in the vault.
Nate: Next you have Fiona Gault, the daughter.
Nate: There is Eleanor, the last ex-wife.
Eleanor (talking to a man): I could tie a knot in this for you, if you want.
Woodman: Thatís really nice. Thank you.
Nate: And Woodman, the son.
(Woodman is near the pool)
Nate: Whoever was in the vault the day Gault died, thatís your killer.
Sterling: You have one hour. If I donít have a suspect in an hour, youíre both going down for this.
Nate: Well, I donít need an hour. I got a Sophie. (walks away)
(Sophie holds a phone)
Nate (on speaker): Darling, just mute the phone. I can hear everything.
(Sophie puts the phone in her purse as Sterling approaches)
Sophie: Do you really have to be here?
Sterling: Youíre not innocent yet.
Man: Sign here, maíam.
(Sophie and Sterling enter a room where Katrina is sitting at a desk)
Sophie: Miss Hardt.
Katrina: Oh, Miss Collins. Thank you. Iím... Iím so sorry. I just... I... the shipping crew is here to take all the Mettier paintings these people purchased, and itís just, um...
Sophie: You poor thing, youíre in charge of every single Mettier in the house.
Katrina: Yes. Jonas had me here every day.
Sophie: Really? Thatís awful. (sits down) That means you were here the day he died.
Katrina: Yes, I arrived that afternoon, and I had no idea that he had already slipped into a coma. It makes me so sad that...
(Nate listening on speaker phone)
Katrina: ÖI was out here arguing with Fiona while he was just slipping away.
(Katrina and Fiona enter the lobby)
Katrina: Six years I have put into this job!
Fiona: Your job is over, as far as Iím concerned. Iíve decided we no longer need a full-time curator.
Katrina: That is not up to you. That is up to your father.
Fiona: How dare you try and tell me what my father does...
Fiona: Well, I mean, I wasnít the C.E.O. At the time, but now that father is gone, Iíve accepted that responsibility as majority shareholder. And I must see, on behalf of the U.K. Shareholders, we couldnít be happier with the way that turned out. Agreed, Clive?
Sterling: Yes. Of course.
Fiona: I have to admit, I was in a foul mood after dealing with Eleanor. That woman is a...
Fiona: Drunk parasite leeching off his pit!
Eleanor: Your father still loves me And he trusts me a lot more than he trusts you. Hovering over him like a vulture.
Fiona: When he dies, you will not get a penny.
Eleanor: Heís not going to die. When he gets better, weíll prove our love to you.
(Sophie pours a drink)
Eleanor: I mean, what better proof is there than getting remarried? Sure, our first marriage broke up, but weíd grown so much since then.
(Sophie hands her a drink)
Eleanor: Thank you.
Sophie: God bless you. (sits on Sterlingís lap and acts lovingly) I just hope me and my Chauncey are as happy as you and your Jonas were.
Eleanor: Iím sure thatís why he chose you as our wedding planner.
Sophie (stands and moves to Eleanorís side): Now, when exactly did he propose?
Eleanor: He didnít, but I know he intended to because the lawyer explained...
Shecter: Thatís why Iím here, Eleanor. I have to get the documents to file the marriage certificate and change the will.
Eleanor: I knew it!
Shecter: Itís his wish to pass his last days with you.
Eleanor: Oh! Letís celebrate with a drink!
Shecter: I have so much work, Eleanor. But please, donít tell anyone I told you.
Eleanor: Oh, I wonít. I promise.
Shecter: Because I knew he was never going to remarry that woman. Jonas was just getting sentimental in his last days, and the havoc that would wreak on the estate, Agent...?
Sophie: Agent Tennant. Are you getting this, Agent Smith?
Sophie: Inheritance issues?
Shecter: Well, there were about to be. Jonas had made a very radical decision.
Shecter: Heís adding you back into the will, your full share of the inheritance.
Woodman: I donít want it.
Shecter: Woody, weíre talking millions, plus your share of the stock.
Woodman: I donít want the money. None of it.
Shecter: Can you believe that? (phone rings) Pardon me. (steps away to answer phone) Hello? Yes?
Sophie: I admit, I do find that hard to believe.
(Sterling gives her a look)
Sterling: I finally understand what he sees in you. We need to find Woodman.
Nate (on speaker phone): Donít worry about it. Iíll handle it.
Woodman (checking bricks on the side of the pool): Weird, cold nights, you get a little frost buckle, it ruins everything. The British Ladyís friend, right?
Nate: Nate Ford. Whatís a, uh... whatís a millionaireís son doing, uh, working on a pool?
Woodman (stands): I screwed things up first go-around, you know? He gave me everything... Private tutors, apartment in Tokyo, art school in Paris. I drank it all away. He kicked me loose. After a couple hard years, I started a contracting company. After dad got real sick, well, I volunteered to fix the pool just so I could be near him.
Nate: Sometimes money just gets in the way.
Woodman: Ainít that the truth.
Nate: The, uh, art girl, Katrina.
Woodman: Cute, huh?
Nate: Was she here the day your dad died?
Woodman: She was up there as soon as the maid that found him screamed. Why?
(Nate walks toward the front of the Mansion, meeting up with Sophie and Sterling)
Sophie: Not quite sure who wants Gault dead out of that lot.
Nate: All of them but one. Katrina was about to lose her job, but if Gault died first, sheíd get a commission for selling the collection. Now, Fiona needed Gault to die before he remarried Eleanor so that sheíd inherit her shares. Eleanor suspected that those shares were soon to be split with Woodman, who, by the way, is the only person without motive.
Sterling: Shecter didnít have a motive.
Nate: Oh, but Shecter knew that Gault wasnít gonna marry Eleanor, so why is Shecter in that office pulling financial statements for Gault instruments? Shecterís embezzling.
Sophie: Iíd forgotten how attractive that is, the relentless tick-tick-tick of you pulling apart someoneís well-laid plans.
Nate: Oh, including yours.
Sophie: Oh, youíve never pulled apart my plans.
Sterling: We are back at square one.
Nate: On the murder, yes, but who cares about that? Weíre here about an art theft. (opens door)
Nate: Okay, they all alibi each other for the times someone was going in and out of the vault. (hands Sophie the printout then begins to look around the room)
Sophie: So, if the same person who killed Jonas stole the painting, (sits on bed) then none of them did it.
Nate: Whoís left?
(Nate continues to look around the room thoughtfully, then puts Sophieís feet up on the bed and pulls out a drawer beneath it, taking out a wrapped painting)
Paolo (enters): Iím sorry. What are you doing in my room?
Paolo: So, the butler did it.
(agents lead Paolo away while the guests watch. Another agent carries the wrapped photograph across the room and places it on a stand)
Sterling: Miss Hardt.
(Katrina steps forward and unwraps the painting. Sophie steps closer for a better look and the crowd oohs and awes)
Sterling: Ma MystŤre... can you be sure? Itís never been photographed or exhibited.
Katrina: But thanks to Jonas, I am the worldís leading expert in precisely one artist. Mettier. Hmm. (examines painting) Brush strokes are right. Texture on the oils. Color palette is consistent with his early works. He stretched his own canvas. Those are his nails. I would have to do more tests, but honestly, this is Mettier. And the only one Iíve never seen before. Itís Ma MystŤre.
Sterling: Miss Hardt, you can release the rest of the collection to the buyers. Iíll tag this for evidence and return it to the estate as soon as possible.
Katrina: Of course. Thank you.
Sterling: Thank you. (walks to Sophie) Itís always nice to bring a thief to justice, even if itís not you. (walks to Nate) Or you. (walks away)
Sophie: Only one problem.
Sophie: That is not Ma MystŤre.
Nate (leads her away): What do you mean ďitís not Ma MystŤre.Ē
Sophie: Itís complicated. Look.
Nate: What? Gaultís own curator thinks itís legit.
Sophie: Iím telling you that is not Ma MystŤre.
Nate: But how could you know that?
Sophie: Uh... Um...
Nate: Did you try to steal it once?
Nate: Hmm. Did you actually steal it once?
Sophie: No. Look, it could be a Mettier, but it is not Ma MystŤre.
Nate: How do you even know what Ma MystŤre is? I mean, thereís no photographs...
Sophie: I just... I need you to trust me.
Nate: Ah. You. You have actually seen Ma MystŤre, havenít you?
Sophie: Not exactly. Look, what if I can prove it to you?
Nate: Look, if itís not Ma MystŤre, how do we even know that itís a real Mettier?
Sophie: Well, the way to prove that itís not a Mettier would be to compare it to another Mettier.
Nate: Thatís true, and theyíve all been sold to all these other rich people, and that... (stops) Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Sophie, no, no, no. You are not gonna go in there and steal a real Mettier.
Sophie: No, no, no. It wouldnít be stealing. Iíd just borrow it just for a little while, just to compare it to Ma MystŤre and prove itís a fake.
Nate: Which means we have to also steal Ma MystŤre. I just got you off the hook from stealing that painting. Now you want to go and steal that and another painting just to prove it isnít real?
Sophie: I donít want to. What I want is for you to take me at my word. Weíve been working together for five years, sleeping together for two. I mean, what is it gonna take?
Nate: Sterling is sitting right on top of Ma MystŤre.
Sophie: Are you telling me you canít outsmart Sterling?
Nate: I canít. But he canít outsmart me, either. Okay, you go get Mettier. Iíll deal with sterling and get Ma MystŤre. Hmm?
(they kiss and walk away)
(an agent lowers the painting into a box)
Sterling: Crate that up, put an evidence sticker on it. Weíll take it with us when we finish the interviews. Weíll handle the... (Nate approaches) Jurisdictional issues. Sterling: What do you want?
Nate: Ah, nothing. (looks at painting) Thatís... Thatís the whole case? Yeah? Just... (laughs)
Sterling: If by which you mean the means, the motive, the opportunity, the fact that I found the stolen item in the possession of the suspect... Yes, thatís my whole case. Iíll put that in front of a jury.
Nate: Yeah? Hmm.
Sterling: You think Iíve missed something?
Sterling: Thatís it. Oh, youíd like to see my whole case fall apart just on some little... (yells) Go back to the beginning! (points at painting) Take that... to the billiard room.
Katrina (to agent): Um, all the shipping labels are already on. Once you get them to the shipping house, they will unload them and send them to their destination.
Sophie: Oh, goodie. Ooh, thatís my painting.
Sophie: My painting. Iíd like it, please. Oh, no offense. You and your company, Iíve lost art in shipping before, you see, and I prefer to have my possessions in my possession.
Frank: Well, you know I canít just give you the painting.
Sophie: Oh, Iím sorry. You donít know who I am? Iím the Duchess of Islington-Barrow. That is my property, and I would like it.
Frank: I need to see some I.D.
Sophie: Do I look as if I came out carrying out I.D. On me?
(Katrina walks by)
Sophie: Miss Hardt?
Katrina: Oh, uh, yes, Miss Collins.
Sophie (softly): Oh, Miss Hardt, Iíve got to say, Iím really impressed with your security. I was thinking Iíd like to hire them the next time the London Art museum loans something out. The thing is, I was asking him for his contact info and he wouldnít give it to me.
Sophie: No. Which, you know, he said itís protocol. I get it. You know, itís good for security, but itís rubbish for business. Do you think you could just...?
Katrina: Frank, Frank, donít be paranoid. Just give it to her.
Sophie: Thank you. Frank, letís be friends. Donít pout.
(Frank turns to pick up the painint)
(an agent goes over the room while Nate stands still and Sterling walks around)
(Sterling continues to move about the room)
(Sterling approaches a trunk)
Nate: Cold, cold. Cold.
(Sterling examines the dresser)
Nate: Warm. Ish.
Sterling: Get out. (gestures toward door)
Nate: Hmm? Very warm. (leaves)
Sterling (to agent): Follow him.
Agent: Yes, sir.
(Sterling hesitates, then frantically begins searching)
(Nate walks along a porch, followed by the Agent)
(Nate picks up a towel and shoves it into the oven)
(Nate approaches the agents guarding the door)
Nate: I-I just left my phone in here.
(Nate quickly crosses the room to the window, outside of which Sophie stands with the painting she took from Frank. Nate opens the window)
(a cook opens the oven and smoke rolls out)
Cook: You guys, cakeís on fire!
(many cooks exclaim and gather at the stove to wave the fire away)
Agent: Watch out, people. Move back.
(Nate removes the evidence sticker from the crate and takes it to the window, swapping for the one Sophie had taken. He just places the evidence sticker on the crate when an agent answers)
Nate: Darn phone. I just canít find it. I canít find the darn phone. (leaves)
(Nate examines the painting)
Sophie (approaches with a bottle of vodka and two glasses): Mettier mixed his own paint. He used copal resin and clay earth found near his home. Thereís no way a forger could match the exact chemical composition of his paint.
Nate: Okay. A little, uh, silver polish. Right. (pours polish into the glasses) That. Bleach. (adds bleach to the glasses) And top it off... With some fine vodka. (adds vodka to glasses) I think I drank this in college. This from this painting (adds scrapings to glass) and a little of that from that painting.
(Nate adds scrapings to the other glass, then lights them both on fire)
Nate: Okay. If you will.
(Sophie blows out the match. Nate uses a UV light to examine both glasses)
Nate: Well, that is a match.
Sophie: They canít match.
Nate: Itís as close as weíre gonna get without stealing a chemistry lab, and weíre not gonna go, you know, steal a-a chemistry I...
Sophie (upset): I was just... I was so sure it was gonna be... Something else. I was wrong, I guess. It is Ma MystŤre.
Nate: What did you think it was gonna be?
(Sophie looks down but doesnít answer)
Nate: There is one other possibility, of course. The paintings match. So either that is the real Ma MystŤre or... Itís a fake Mettier.
Sophie: That doesnít make sense. It came straight out of Gaultís collection. Even if there was a fake in there, what are the chances that I just happened to steal that one?
Nate: Slim. Unless all the paintings are fake. Or Gaultís entire collection is fake.
Sterling: So let me get this straight. You stole not one, but two paintings. One of which you spent the entire day trying to convince me you did not steal, all because your girlfriend here, an unrepentant, inveterate, professional liar...
Sophie: Thatís uncalled for.
(Sophie straightens Nateís tie as he laughs)
Sterling: Told you with no evidence whatsoever that Ma MystŤre was fake. Now youíre so sure that sheís right, that you not only think that this painting is a fake, but every other Mettier that was in the house, the entire collection, is also fake?
Nate: Thatís right. (moves to pour a drink)
Sterling: Arrest them both.
Sophie: On what charge?
Nate: Weíve brought you back the paintings.
Sterling: Obstructing an investigation.
Sophie: Weíre helping you with your investigation.
Sterling: Being annoying and crazy.
Nate: Thatís not a crime. Since when was that a crime? (hands Sophie a drink)
Sophie: No, itís not.
Sterling: I donít care! All right, all right, all right. Say, just say, that youíre right. Do you have any idea what it would take to replace every one of these paintings with a forgery?
Nate: Yeah, well, for starters, I mean, you would probably need an elderly victim whose eyesight was shot so much to the point where he wouldnít notice the switches.
Sterling: Heíd have to repaint every single painting.
Nate: Yes. Yes, so youíd need time.
Sophie: Youíd need a detailed knowledge of Mettier, plus access to all the paintings.
Nate: Yes, and most important, of course, you would need the ability to establish provenance. You would need to declare, without question, that every one of these paintings is absolutely and undeniably legitimate.
Sterling: The curator.
Sterling: Hey! I donít suppose anyone here spent the last few years secretly replacing every Mettier in the house with forgeries while no one was looking.
(Fiona and Katrina look at each other, puzzled, then Katrina bolts for the door)
Nate: Very slick interrogation.
Sterling: I didnít think that would work.
Sophie: Sheís getting away.
Sterling: I didnít think that would work!
(they follow Katrina from the house)
Nate: All right, uh, you go that way and Iíll go this...
(they hear Katrina cry out, and the sound of something falling into the pool. They run to investigate, finding Katrina in the pool. Nate jumps in and pulls her out, but Katrina is dead)
(Later, Sterling speaks to his agents)
Sterling: Fleeing the scene of the crime, she slipped on the edge of the pool, hit her head, fell in. Accidental death. (walks toward Nate and Sophie) Nothing like bringing a thief to justice again.
Nate: Hey, you know what? Look at the bright side. You solved a theft, a murder. And once you go through that womanís records, youíll find all the people that bought those stolen paintings. I mean, it was a pretty big forgery ring.
Sterling: And despite your efforts to drop off the map, I now know your new base of operations. Everything is sunshine and rainbows. Be seeing you. (walks away)
Sophie: Ugh. He thinks heís so intimidating, but heís not.
Nate: Letís get the hell out of here before he changes his mind.
(Nate pours Sophie a drink)
Sophie: I was right. It was like old times.
Nate: It was.
Sophie: Art theft, chases, dresses, and tuxedoes. I just... I wish I had gotten to see the real Ma MystŤre.
Nate: Eh. Sterling might find it once he goes through Katrinaís files.
Sophie: Mm. Iím sorry I couldnít tell you how I knew it was a fake. Itís just, itís personal. But I really appreciate your faith. I-I treasure it.
Nate: You made a good point. I should trust you. I mean, I do trust you. I do. And... (hesitates) Look, you and me, weíre... Me and you, weíre... Oh, itís just that... We are, uh...
(they begin to kiss)
Nate: Thatís how I found you. Your shoes. When you left that day, you know, you were wearing your fancy shoes, uh, the high heels. Theyíre high enough for fashion, low enough to run in.
Sophie: You never looked at my feet.
Nate: Didnít have to. They sound different on a wooden floor.
Sophie: Youíre so clever. What about the party?
Nate: Well, I mean, if you were wearing those shoes, it meant one thing... an event, which meant catering. So I called all the high-end caterers and I found that, uh, there was one party. An art auction.
Sophie: That brain of yours is very, very sexy.
Nate: Oh, thank you very much. How about the rest of me?
Sophie: Itís a little beat-up, but... It has its charm. (kisses him again) I have a change of clothes for the morning. (walks away)
(Nate sits thinking for a moment, then something occurs to him)
Nate: Iím such an idiot.
(Sophie returns with her clothes)
(Nate stands looking at the empty space where the painting should have been. He imagines Katrina moving the painting and an alarm going off)
Nate: It didnít matter how many times she came in and out. She still couldnít crack the second alarm.
(a man puts a gun to Nateís head)
Nate: But you knew that already, didnít you?
Nate: Theyíll hear a gunshot.
Woodman: Place is empty. Too much death. Everybodyís freaked out.
Nate: Art school in Paris?
Woodman: Wasnít talented enough to sell my stuff. But after dad cut me off, well, talented enough to fake other peopleís art. Good coin for a while, too. Then he got sick and I came home to scam some money, and there it was. A whole house full of valuable paintings.
Nate: Hmm. With its own curator.
Woodman: Lonely curator.
Katrina: The Interpol agent found out about the forgeries. Woody, they know. They know about the paintings.
(Woodman picks up a brick and hits Katrina with it, knocking her into the pool. He then wipes the blood on a brick at the side of the pool)
Nate (voice over): Youíd, um, switch out one painting every coupleó
Nate: óof months. Nice. When did you decide to go after Ma MystŤre?
(Woodman trying several combinations on the keypad)
Woodman (voice over): When I saw the keypad, and I knew the numbers.
Nate (voice over): You painted theó
Nate: óduplicate in advance. (walks to the middle of the room) Of course, youíd, um, have to guess what it looked like.
Woodman: No one else had seen it.
(Gault looks out the window to see Woodman showing Katrina a painting)
Nate (voice over): Ah. But tried to keep it close at hand, didnít you? Do you think thatís what tipped him?
(Gault looks at a page from the printer and dials his phone)
Nate (voice over): When he saw someone was going in and out of the vault, he called the alarm company and took precautions.
(Woodman tries to enter the code on the alarm but it doesnít work)
Nate (voice over): Although youíd gone in and out a bunch of times, he changed the code on that last trip.
Nate: Why (approaches Woodman) did you go in and out so many times?
Woodman: Think you got it all figured out. But youíre not as smart as you think you are.
Nate: Iím smarter than you. Iím smart enough not to kill my partner.
(Sophie hits Woodman in the head with a vase of flowers)
Sophie (angry): You are a compulsive, obsessive, selfish...
Nate (grabs Sophie): Really should run!
(Sophie looks back to see Woodman coming after them)
Sophie: Ah, right.
(Sophie and Nate run out the door, followed by Woodman)
(Nate and Sophie run beside a pool to escape. Bullets ricochet and the pair dives behind some crates for safety)
Sophie: Oh! Just letting you know, if we die, I blame you.
Nate: I know.
Sophie: None of this would have happened if youíd just gone to the movies like I told you.
Nate: Yeah, if Iíd gone to the movies, youíd be in jail right now.
(another bullet ricochets)
Sophie: Jail is a big improvement on my current prospect of soon to be murdered.
(Woodman approaches slowly)
Nate: Sophie, run. Run.
(Sophie runs, Woodman rushes Nate, who grabs his gun. They struggle. Nate handcuffs Woodman to a crate, then pushes him into the pool)
Sophie: You kept the cuffs. Naughty. That the shallow end, right?
(later, at the front of the mansion, Agents lead Woodman to a car)
Sterling: Anyone else in the vicinity youíd like me to arrest for the same crime? Or is three our lucky number?
Nate: This is it. He got Ma MystŤre out, but Gault changed the code before he could get the fake into place.
Sophie: Yes. Couldnít let a perfectly good fake go to waste, so he framed Paolo with it.
Sterling: And the real Ma MystŤre? Eh, weíll get it out of him. Again... Be seeing you. Turns out, youíre still the second-best detective Iíve ever known. (gets into the car)
Nate: Ah. So are you.
Sterling: You ever want to do this again, call me. Iím hiring. And you can bring the art thief.
Sophie: Ex-art thief.
(Nate laughs and offers her his arm)
Sophie: Ex-art thief.
(Sophie stands looking at the empty vault as Nate approaches)
Sophie: I would really have liked to have seen it, just to know.
How does a forger defeat a two-tiered security system in less than an afternoon? I mean, when they donít have those skills, the skill he does have... (holds up pry bar) is in construction.
(Nate uses the bar to break a hole in the wall)
(Woodman unlocks the vault)
Nate (voice over): See, all he had to do was just wait until after the auction. Shecter turned off the alarm on the painting. Then they could come back anytime.
(Woodman opens the vault and enters with a painting)
Nate (voice over): They just had to keep the painting hidden. So he built a false wall and hid the painting there.
(Woodman leaves the vault and begins carrying in wood)
Sophie: I bared my soul to him.
Nate: You bared more than your soul.
Sophie: He vowed it would never be seen by the world till after my death.
Nate: So weíre gonna steal it.
Sophie: Of course we are, darling.
Nate: To honor his wishes.
Sophie: Of course.
Nate: Ma MystŤre.
Sophie: He never even showed it to me after he painted it, And then I wasnít really tempted when I knew it was locked up.
Nate: You are...
Sophie: Very young.
Sophie: Very naked. Yes.
(Nate steps forward to take the painting and they walk away from the vault)
Nate: I think you look better now.
Sophie: Oh. Mr. Ford, you are quite the charmer.