Tabitha: Thanks, Jim.
Jim: See you soon.
Tabitha: Tell your mom I hope she feels better soon.
Jim: Will do. Thanks, Tabitha.
(Tabitha sees a man making notes on a clipboard and approaches him)
Tabitha: What are you doing here again?
Oscar: Iím gonna have to write you up, Ms. Delavega.
Tabitha: What for this time, Oscar? Last week, it was what, a leaky water heater and exposed wires? Neither were true.
Oscar: Loose tiles. Somebody might get hurt.
Tabitha: Youíve got to be kidding me.
Oscar: You donít fix these safety violations... cityís gonna shut you down.
Tabitha: Didnít our class vote you ďmost likely to succeedĒ? Wonder what theyíd say if they could see you now.
Eliot: Hardison, youíve gone too far this time.
Hardison: Hey, man, weíre in Portland. Got to do as the hippies do.
Eliot: I have no problem going green, all right? I put in your tank-less water heater and your low-flow faucet and all your solar-powered crap. But composting, dude? Seriously, it stinks in here.
Hardison: That, my friend, is the sweet smell of sustainability. Now letís see whatís next. Oh, we got some recycling bins. You got to put those in. Thereís a cardboard crusheró
(Eliot sees Tabitha sitting near a window)
Hardison: óvery effectió
(Eliot nods at Tabitha. Hardison turns to look as Eliot goes over to sit with her)
Tabitha: Since we lost dad, Iíve been running things on my own. I know itís a small store, but he built it. You know, it reminds me of him. I just donít know how much longer I can keep it going. Value!More opens tomorrow. Thereís three already in spitting distance. All those neighborhoods became a ghost town within a year. Mom-and-pop stores closed up, and the folks just left.
Eliot: Why do you think the cityís in on it?
Tabitha: Because Value!More got the property re-zoned without even a public hearing. We found out too late they had already bought the building.
Eliot: Well, that makes it tougher to stop them. I mean, that ship has sailed.
Tabitha: Well, now stores like mine are getting hit with trumped-up city fines. Somebodyís definitely getting their palm greased.
Eliot: What theyíre doing is, theyíre pushing people around. They want you to take notice.
Tabitha: Some people are excited about it. They have no idea what itís gonna do to our town. Little towns like ours, thereís something special about them. Once thatís gone, I just donít think we can get it back.
Anna: Itís so cute here. Ms. Cowan, did you know Apple Springs is home to the nationís largest garden gnome?
Caroline: First, yawn. Second, we are not here to sight-see, Abigail. We are here to work.
Anna: Yeah, itís Anna. And, Ms. Cowan, I just wanted to say what an honor it is to work with you. Youíre the best regional team leader Value!More has ever had. What are you thinking about?
Caroline (studying stores): Pharmacy. I give it two months. Bakery, three weeks, tops. Candy shoppe with an ďe.Ē Oh, grocery. This is a toughie. Hanging on for dear life. Sweet, huh? Bye-bye.
Anna: Man, sheís a beauty, donít you think?
Caroline: No, Iím not gonna miss this. Look, youíve got the right to know. Iíve decided this is going to be my final business trip.
Anna: Oh, my God. Youíre quitting.
Caroline: Please. I have been on the road for Value!More for 15 years, 15. Iím tired of the airplane food, the hotel bedbugs, and the jet lag. Thereís a corner office and a parking space at corporate with my name on it, or there soon will be. And youíre gonna help me get it.
Anna: I am?
Caroline: In two weeks, weíre gonna have this place up and running like a well-oiled machine. Apple Springs wonít know what hit it.
Sophie: So, yeah, Iím casting the new season. ďDevereaux.Ē Iím gonna be the new Stanislavsky.
Nate: Well, itís amazing, except that Devereauxís not even your real name.
Sophie: Pff! Details.
Eliot: Youíre not listening to what Iím saying. Iím talking about saving a small town.
Hardison: From what?
Nate: Whatísówhatís going on?
Parker: Eliot found us a client, but Hardison doesnít think itís a client.
Hardison: Itís not a client.
Eliot: Look. (changes display) A big-box store is gonna destroy a small town, and I want to save itóis that not what we do?
Hardison: Value!More? Itísóitís a huge brand. They started with one store, and they grew like a weed. Itís an American dream.
Parker: Each store is ginormous. I mean, they probably supply hundreds of jobs.
Hardison: And thanks to their low prices, my Nana was able to feed all us kids when money was tight, and money was always tight. So what are you saying about the people who shop there?
Eliot: Iím saying they were lied to, all right? This family-friendly act is all bulló
Nate: No, heís -- heís right. Iíve had Value!More on my radar for a while. What they do is, they bribe local governments for tax and real-estate subsidies.
Eliot: Look, and youíre right. A new store will make new jobs, okay? But it also kills all the mom-and-pop shops, and that hurts the town double. Not to mention all the factory jobs that are outsourced t-to foreign sweatshops.
Nate: Now, full-time workers should get health insurance, right? Well, to get around that, Value!More, they donít even offer full-time jobs.
Parker: Wait. If theyíre so bad, why havenít we hit them yet?
Nate: ĎCause theyíre too big.
Eliot: ďToo big.Ē We overthrew a government in a foreign country.
Nate: A small foreign country. Look, Value!More, what they earn in a year -- it trumps the GDP of most first-world nations.
Sophie: And theyíre gonna have an army of executives.
Nate: Exactly. So thereís no single weak spot to target. I mean, you canít just take down the entire company.
Eliot (studies display): All right, then one store. This store.
Nate: Y-youíd have to... Youíd have to nip it in the bud, though. I mean, you know, youíd have to close the store before it even opened. And when is it opening?
Eliot (hesitates): Tomorrow.
Nate: Tomorrow? Okay. Better move fast.
Caroline: Is anybody thinking here?! We are selling hot dogs! So what do we need?! We need ketchup, mustard, relish! Go!
Martin: Oh, sure, Ms. Cowan. Uh, uh --
Eliot: Hardison, thereís a woman running the show here. Sheís not on the roster.
Hardison (pulls up information on display): Thatís because she doesnít work in apple Springs. She was sent by corporate.
Sophie: Caroline Cowan, regional team leader. Company veteran. She moves from store to store and gets them up and running. Well, sheís the one to look out for.
Hardison: Weíll set up surveillance on her.
Parker (whistles): Fancy digs.
Nate: Oh. Well, thatís one thing Value!Moreís good at is pinching pennies. Okay, guys, thereís only three Value!More stores that have ever closed in the past. The first one was over a land dispute. So that will be our way in.
Parker (lays on bed, examines blanket): Oh, they donít wash these, do they? (gets up quickly)
Nate: No, no.
(Parker and Nate exit Carolineís hotel room. A moment later, Anna comes around the corner with a suitcase)
Anna: Yes, Ms. Cowan. Taking your luggage to your room right now, room 32.
Hardison: Okay. Youíre gonna be playing Dr. Ellie Sattler, ex-pat, environmental activist.
Sophie: Hmm? What? I have to, what? Are you serious? Mm-hmm. No. People study for like years to learn this stuff, and you want me to do it in like 20 minutes? ďEryth-ocroc-ra-tes...Ē
Sophie: Itís probably not even a realóitís, like, names of dinosaurs or something.
Hardison: Dinosaurs were real.
(sign falls down above doors announcing grand opening)
Caroline: There. Now you finally got it. Gudong.
Caroline: It means ďshareholder.Ē Iím practicing my mandarin. Someday, Value!Moreís gonna reach across the globe, and when they do, Iím their gal. No more of this podunk, U.S.A. Iíll be running China.
(Caroline checks her phone as Anna looks across the parking lot)
Anna: Thatís really exciting. But who is that?
(Sophie sits at the edge of the parking lot examining soil as Caroline and Anna approach)
Sophie: Hi, there.
Caroline: Excuse me, miss, what do you reckon youíre doing here? Iím gonna have to ask you to leave.
Sophie: Well, you see, I was just coming to see you. (screws top on a jar)
Caroline: About what?
Sophie: Uh, because you and I and everybody in that store... are slowly being poisoned to death. (shakes soil sample, tests it) Not good. (holds up sample) Just as I suspected. Yep. Right. Youíre gonna need one of these, (hands out face mask) and youíre gonna need one ofó
(Caroline gives Sophie a look that makes her stop)
Sophie: Do you know what cadmium is? No, I didnít think so. Itís a chemical byproduct of silver mining. Itís devastatingly toxic. This building sits on the remains of an old mine. The siteís contaminated.
Caroline: Really? We had a full environmental survey done.
Sophie: Why, yes, you did, but then you fixed up the parking lot and you disturbed all that lovely soil. No, no, no, no, no. Youíre gonna have to shut down the store.
Caroline (laughs): No. Weíre scheduled to open tomorrow.
Sophie: Do you have a fever, Ms. Cowan? A stuffy nose? A rash? The loss of taste? We call it the cadmium blues. Pretty soon, mm-hmm, everyone around here is gonna be having those symptoms. You know what this reminds me of? The love canal disaster. The E.P.A.ís gonna be all over this.
Caroline: Doc, Iíd like you off my property.
(Anna puts on the mask)
Sophie: Well, you may not care about public safety, (hands Caroline her card) but the city council will.
Caroline: Ugh! Come on.
Anna: Cadmium? The whole store is poisoned. What are we gonna do?
Caroline: First, take off that stupid mask. If the E.P.A. hears about this, theyíre gonna shut us down for weeks of testingóweeks.
Anna: But the results could come back clean.
Caroline: Even if they do, do you think a single soccer mom is gonna step foot in here when she hears the gossip from her bridge club about men in biohazard suits? No, this is about public perception. Get me corporate on the phone.
Anna: Yes, maíam.
[City Council Meeting]
Mayor: Next on the agenda is a presentation by Dr. Eleanor Sattler. But first, a special guest, Ms. Caroline Cowan from our newest neighbor, Value!More.
Caroline:: Excuse me. Thank you, Mr. Mayor, council members, fine citizens. I am here tonight to thank you for welcoming our little store into your town and into your hearts.
Sophie (into comm.): Nate, whatís she doing?
Nate: Stand by, Sophie.
Caroline: Your town cherishes strong community values, just like Value!More does. And we consider ourselves a family for a reason. Because when itís time to circle the wagons, families protect each other. That is why I feel it is my responsibility to tell you something very disturbing that I discovered about your town.
Hardison: Uh, Nate, somethingís wrong.
(alerts begin to pop up on the display showing that Sophieís alias has been compromised)
Parker: Thereís one. And thereís another one.
Hardison: Thatís -- thank -- thank you. Thatís very, very super-helpful, babe. Thank you. Yeah. Guys, Sophieís aliases have been flagged online.
[City Council Meeting]
Nate: By who?
Parker: Everyone. Look -- thereís three more.
Hardison: Thatís -- uh, thank you, babe. We -- we see. We...
[City Council Meeting]
Caroline: Mr. Mayor, did you know you have a wanted eco-terrorist living in your midst?
Woman: Thatís terrible. Impossible.
Caroline: Among Dr. Sattlerís long litany of radical protests are the arson fire of a Nigerian oil field and the bombing of a Japanese S.U.V. factory, in which three innocent men were killed.
Caroline: Yes, I know. Shocking, isnít it?
Sophie: Nate, I think Iíve overstayed my welcome. Hardison, a little help, please.
Nate: Iím working on it.
(alerts continue to pop up and Hardison pulls up a plan of the building)
[City Council Meeting]
Caroline: Acts of violence, sabotage, all in the name of saving the earth. My friends, can we really trust anything she has to say here tonight?
(Alarm begins to sound)
Hardison: Howís that?
[City Council Meeting]
Sophie: Ugh! Great. You know, I spent all day memorizing metall-othi-o-nein, metall-othi-o-nein. (throws note cards)
Hardison: Guys, Sophieís alias was airtightó
Hardison: óuntil Value!More forged a dozen online articles to destroy it.
Parker: Hey, thatís our trick.
Eliot: How far is she gonna go to protect her store?
Nate: Well, weíll find out. You remember I said Value!More closed three of its stores? The second one was because of a union scare.
Sophie: Oh. Itíd set a legal precedent. Theyíd have to unionize all the stores.
Nate: Caroline would, uh, shut down her store rather than the risk the entire company.
(Hardison listens to audio from store)
Caroline: Can I get a ďgood morning, Value!MoreĒ?
Workers: Good morning, Value!More!
Caroline: And whoís Value!More?
Workers: Weíre Value!More!
Caroline: And whatís Value!More?
Workers: The best!
Eliot: This reminds me of North Korea.
Hardison: Come on, Eliot, shake it. Give me some soul!
Eliot: Are you dancing? I hate you.
Caroline: Welcome to Value!More.
(Caroline cuts the ribbon at the door as the crowd cheers. She steps aside and they begin to enter)
Eliot (looking at his pay slip): You got to be kidding me.
Martin: First paycheck, huh?
Eliot: They think we can live off of this?
Martin: It seems most folks are working here just till they can find something better.
Eliot: Tell you what, thereís a meeting tonight. This guy says he can change things. (hands him a card) You in?
Martin: Iíd sure like to hear what he has to say.
Eliot: All right, good deal. Okay.
(Martin struggles with some paint cans)
Eliot: You all right?
Martin: Yeah. These didnít used to be so heavy. You wouldnít think it, but I actually used to own a hardware store.
Eliot: Youíre kidding me.
Eliot: You and my old man.
Eliot: Yeah. Iíll tell you, he could tell you where everythingó
Eliot: ówas before you even walked in the store, heíd tell you exactly what you needed, and he knew where every bolt, nut, and washer was in that place. Whyíd you lose your store?
Martin: Oh, I shut her down. No use trying to compete with Value!More. Itísóitís a young manís game. With the diabetes, Iím not as quick on my feet as I used to be. You new in town? I could have sworn I knew everyone around here.
Eliot: Iím just passing through, actually.
Martin (looking at Eliotís nametag): Oh. Archer.
Eliot: Martin. Nice to meet you.
Martin: Good to meet you, man.
Eliot: Let me help you with these.
(Eliot pins a notice to the wall as Martin sits eating)
Eliot: What do you got?
Martin: Oh, got to keep my blood sugar up. My wifeís secret recipe. You want some?
Eliot: No, thanks, but you enjoy. (puts money in a machine)
Bryan: Hey, Martin, those 12-packs of fabric softener are just flying off the shelves. Look, can you grab some more from the stock room A.S.A.P.?
Martin: I-I would, but Iím on my break.
Bryan: Itís a busy day, big guy. Could really use you to take one for the team.
(Martin moves to get up)
Eliot: Sorry. Keep your seat, Martin. I got it. Iíll take care of this one. (moves to clock in)
Bryan: Hey, uh, letís keep this off the clock, okay? And tuck your shirt in.
(Eliot sneers and halfheartedly lifts his shirt, but lets it fall as Caroline passes him. Caroline sees the notice Eliot posted and looks around)
(later, Caroline pulls the notice from the refrigerator)
Anna: I donít understand.
Caroline (crumples flier): Pickup game, thatís code for union meeting. We got a traitor inside. We got to nip this in the bud, ďtoot sweet.Ē
(later, Anna installs a camera in a corner)
Hardison: Okay, Eliot, I caught some new wireless feeds from the store. Looks like theyíre putting up surveillance cameras.
Caroline: I will not have corporate thinking I let some union fester under my nose. So we are gonna have to find whoever did this ourselves. (watches security display) Look.
(display shows Eliot posting another flier, then answer his phone)
Anna: You want me to bring him up here?
Caroline: Never kill a rat if you can follow him instead. Heís gonna lead us right to his nest.
(Eliot walks across the parking lot to an RV. He knocks on the door)
(Eliot goes inside. Caroline walks quickly across the parking lot, getting close enough to listen)
(Eliot sits down. Nate gestures for him to be quiet. Behind Eliot, Nate sees Caroline approaching the RV, waiting until she gets close enough to hear before speaking)
Nate: Howís it going, uh, the recruitment and everything? Any new takers?
(Caroline walks closer so she can hear better)
Eliot: We got more than a few.
Nate: Thatís good. Good, good, good. Yeah. Is anyone onto you?
Eliot: I donít think so.
Eliot: But I have a feeling if I get caught, Iím gonna get fired, wonít I?
Nate: Legally, they canít do that. Theyíll find some other wayÖ
Nate: Öyou know, to do that sort of thing. But, uhÖ
Nate: Öhang in there, because we are about to make history.
(Caroline hurries away from the RV. Later Nate returns to the parking lot from the store)
(Nate finds Caroline sitting on the couch)
Caroline: You got a lot of nerve.
Nate: Yeah, well, my, uh, mother, she used to say the same thing.
Caroline: Well, Iím only gonna say this to you once. Stay away from my employees.
Nate: Oh, fat chance.
Caroline: Itís not going to work.
Nate: Yes, it will work, yeah. (pulls out his lunch) And the beauty of it is, is thereís not a damn thing you can do about it. Like some salad?
Hardison: Hey, man, that, uh, stuff about your pop owning the hardware shop, man, is that real or is that just an alias riff?
(Eliot doesnít answer)
Eliot (hesitantly): It was more like a hole-in-the-wall... tools stacked up to the ceiling. There was method in his madness, though. He knew that place like the back of his hand.
Hardison: Did you two work it together?
Eliot: Yeah, he wanted me to run the damn joint. But I wanted to get out, change the world, needed to get out of there. I joined the service when I was 18, and, well, that was it.
Hardison: When was the last time you were back?
Eliot: We had a fight the night before I left. So... (turns up volume on the bug in the RV) this town this townís a lot like that. Itís small. Itísó (gestures toward the display)
Caroline: You think youíre such a hot shot. Donít you have anything better to do than rabble-rouse, or did you get rejected from all the real jobs?
Nate: You know, an NLRB rep is just waiting for my call. As soon as I get 30% of your workers to sign the union cards, and that rep is gonna get on a plane and come down here and supervise a vote.
Caroline: When pigs fly.
Nate (laughs): Sure you donít want some of this? Itís delicious. How about a cherry tomato?
Caroline: Get off my damn property.
Nate: If I remember right, donít you allow, oh, no. Donít you encourage Value!More customers to park their R.V.s on your property?
Caroline: Yeah, but you got to be a customer, and to be a customer, you got to buy something.
Nate (pulls out a receipt): Guyís got to eat.
(Caroline leaves in a huff)
Nate: You see, thatís-thatís why collective bargaining gives you the power. Itís right there, see? Turn the tables on Value!More so theyíll know that you mean business, Ďcause only then will they start to listen, okay? (hands out fliers) Just read about it right there. (to Eliot, quietly) Eliot, so, whereíd you find these people?
Eliot: Two words: free beer.
Caroline (entering with Anna): Why wasnít I invited to this party? Iím sorry. Is this a private event?
Nate: Hey, listen, everybody, thereís no reason to be afraid. Itís okay. Itís all right, everybody, all right? Ms. Cowan here, she canít legally punish you for being here.
Caroline: Oh, I wouldnít dream of it. Please, go on.
Nate: Thank you. Hereís the thing, Iíve been where you are. And, and I know what youíre thinking. I know what youíre asking, the whole thing about jobs. In this economy, just to have a job, any job is better than no job at all. And youíll pretty much do anything to hold on to that job, right? Including working through your lunches, working through your shifts, go off the books. Why? Because you know if the squeaky wheel doesnít get oiled, it gets fired, youíve seen it. Well, Iím here to remind you that you deserve better. You donít have to live in fear anymore. You donít have to be the little David going up against the corporate Goliath, all alone. The union is your slingshot... to bring down the corporate giant.
Nate: And the other thing about all...
Caroline: May I say something?
Nate: Iím sorry? Excuse me? What?
Caroline: May I.. may I say something?
Nate: Oh, absolutely, yes. Anybody can say anything.
Caroline: My friends... I am wounded that you would take any of your job concerns to a stranger instead of coming directly to me.
Nate: Oh, really? Youíre ďwoundedĒ? That surprises you? I mean, after you fostered a corporate environment in which your, your workers are afraid.
Caroline: Afraid of what? We wouldnít hurt a fly.
Nate (laughs): Well...
Caroline: But he is right about one thing. These are tough, tough times. And the only way we are gonna get through this is if we stick together. And a union only wants to tear us apart, but I will not let anyone or anything come between us. Because all the union wants to do is take money out of your pockets. But what am I gonna do? Put money back into your pockets. 30% off everything in the store for the next month.
Caroline: And... Iím throwing a barbecue for everyone in town. Because, because, you guys, we are a family. Who is Value!More?
Workers: Weíre Value!More!
Caroline: And what is Value!More?
Workers: The best!
(workers cheer and thank Caroline as they leave)
Caroline: So, how was that for your 30%?
Nate: Bar is closed.
(Caroline and Anna leave)
Eliot: Our track recordís not looking so hot now, thanks to Caroline, huh?
Nate: Yeah. Sheís, uh... unbelievable.
Sophie: Unbelievable? She just used a basic brainwashing technique, no panache.
Nate: Eh, sheís...
Sophie: Oh, look, he likes her.
Nate: No, I like the player, not the person.
Eliot: Listen, you said three stores have closed down, one for toxic land, the other for the union. What was the third?
Nate: Just a string of bad luck, a bunch of little things that added up to taking down their profits. But, I mean, itís not like we can make bad luck.
Eliot: Canít we?
Nate: Let the games begin. (watches display) Letís do it.
Caroline: Well, welcome, early birds.
(customers flock into the store, pushing Caroline and Anna out of the way)
Caroline: Oh. Hello. Ooh! All right.
(customers are eagerly taking away large screen televisions from a stack)
Caroline: What in the hell is going on?
Anna: I have no idea.
(Nate continues to watch)
(customers begin to stream toward the checkout)
Parker: Oh. (to customer) Hello. Did you find everything you were...
Parker (rings up television): Thatíll be $999.99.
Customer: Wait, wait. I have a coupon. (hands over coupon)
Parker: Oh. Coupon.
(more customers along with Caroline and Anna head toward the checkouts)
Parker: Whoo-hoo! Hot deal! $99.99!
(customer hands over the money)
Caroline: Excuse me. Where did you get that?
Customer: It was in my e-mail.
(Hardison hacks an email sent out by Value!More, changing the price from $999.99 to $99.99)
Hardison: Fly, my pretties, fly.
Caroline: Okay, everybody...
Customer: Oh, keep the change.
Caroline: Everybody, just stop. Stop for a second. Just stop.
(everyone stops, Caroline looks at Anna)
Anna: I swear, this is not the coupon that I sent. But the bar code matches the software, so itís valid, and that means that we have to honor it.
Caroline: Okay. Go ahead. Come on.
Nate: Nice job, Hardison. Sophie, do your worst.
(Sophie rounds a corner with a bunch of her theater students)
Sophie: My pleasure. Zachary, whatís the first basic rule of improv?
Zachary: Uh, always say ďyes, andĒ to keep the scene moving forward.
Sophie: Good. And the second?
Zachary: Um, donít block.
Sophie: Exactly. Now, everybody, forget all that and synchronize your watches. Weíre saying no and weíre blocking.
(Sophie opens the door and students begin to enter)
Zachary: Youíre the best director ever.
Sophie: Thank you, Zachary.
(Zachary follows the crowd in)
Sophie: Nate, flash mob is a go.
(Nate continues to watch the screen)
(all of Sophieís students take off their jackets to reveal polo shirts similar to those worn by employees)
Customer: Excuse me. Are any of these detergents hypoallergenic? (holds up several products)
Zachary: Oh, I-Iím sorry. I donít work here.
Customer: Oh, sorry about that. Excuse me, miss. Can anyone help me?
(another student walks by without responding)
Customer (to Caroline, handing her the products): Great customer service you got here, lady.
Caroline: Uh... (sees students) Who are all these people? (gives products to Anna and grabs Zachary) Hey, you! Do you work here?
Caroline: Then get out. Get out!
(Zachary moves away)
Customer 2: Great service! Iím done.
Anna: Who are all these people?
(customers continue to complain, dropping shopping carts on their way out the door)
Nate: All right, good. See what else you guys can do.
(an unattended cart rolls down an aisle toward a customer, who glances at it, then away. The cart speeds up down the aisle as if moving on its own. The customer freaks out, drops his basket and runs. Hardison stands up from behind a skid holding a remote controller)
Bryan (to Eliot) Hey, tuck in that shirt for me. Hey, Martin, I need you to pick it up, unless you want to work during lunch, okay?
(Martin continues to work, but then drops a container and collapses)
Eliot: Hey, Martin! Call 911! Martin!
(a bit later, EMTs wheel Martin toward the door)
Eliot: Youíre gonna be okay.
Martin: All right, all right.
Eliot (to EMT: Make sure and call his wife, okay?
Eliot: Feel better, Martin.
Nate: All right, Eliot, stay on plan. Weíre not done yet.
(angry, Eliot turns toward the back of the store)
(Eliot enters as Bryan is getting something from the refrigerator)
Bryan: Seriously? Not gonna tuck in your shirt?
Eliot: You made him work through his break again, didnít you?
Bryan: What? The old-timer? Heíll be fine. We got a problem here, buddy?
Eliot: Bryan, youíre a bully. You know how much Iíd love to tear your arm off and feed it to you right now? But, you see, that would make me a bully, too. You see my dilemma?
(Eliot grabs Bryanís arm and twists it, shoving his face into the soda machine)
Eliot: Bryan, I want you to listen to me, and I want you to try to understand.
Bryan: I canít feel my arm.
Eliot: I know. The only reason why Iím not throwing you into this soda machine is because Martin wouldnít want me to do it. You see, Martin is a good neighbor. You? Youíre not. (lets Bryan go)
Bryan: You crazy bastard. Youíre fired.
(Eliot looks at Bryanís pointing hand, then at Bryan, and slowly walks away)
(Caroline is lying on the couch as Anna paces)
Anna: Maybe the numbers wonít be as bad as you think.
Bryan (enters) Hereís the dayís sales, Ms. Cowan.
Caroline: Just burn it.
Anna: Thank you.
Caroline (answering phone): Caroline Cowan. Um... (sits up) Mr. Halliward. Uh, uh, what a surprise.
Anna: Ms. Cowan.
Caroline: Um, todayís receipts, sir, I can explain. Record sales? Really?
(Anna nods, smiling, and hands papers to Caroline)
Caroline: Well, of course. Sir, the, uh, TVs were my idea. Uh, I mean, I realize itís a little unconventional, but Iím glad you approve. Wonderful. Well, weíll see you tomorrow, then. All right. (hangs up) We broke all records for opening week.
Caroline: And the C.E.O. is flying in here tomorrowó
Caroline: óto come to our barbecue.
Sophie: Did sheódid she just say that?
Nate: Value!More took a hit on the TVs, but every other department made a killing. Hey, we just, we didnít plan on the customers buying other products while they were in there.
Caroline: So, right now, Iím gonna prepare. Just need a little time. And no phone calls, nothing. Go, go.
Sophie: We havenít even made a dent. Iím beginning to think we canít destroy this store.
Nate: Youíre right. We canít... But Caroline can.
(Eliot waits while Hardison picks the lock on Carolineís room. Inside, Eliot changes the light bulbs and adjusts the thermostat while Hardison fiddles with Carolineís makeup and sleep mask. Hardison also puts gum in the shower head and takes her brushes before planting a device on the phone)
Eliot: Letís go, man.
Hardison: This little guy emits a beep at random intervals. Itís very effective. Itís driven many a college roommate to insanity.
(they exit the room. Later, Caroline gets ready for bed. As she sits down, the light bulb flashes)
Caroline: Hmm. Probably one of ours.
(She lays down and puts on the sleep mask, but tosses and turns. The intermittent beeping makes her sit up and she tosses and turns some more. She searches for the source of the beeping but canít find it. She spends a restless night until finally the alarm goes off. She stumbles to the bathroom to find some sort of rash around her eyes. She tries to turn on the shower but the water doesnít run)
(she searches for a brush but canít find one, and is forced to use a makeup brush. She cleans her eyes with a q-tip and puts on her makeup as best she can)
Anna: You left without me this morning. I had to take a taxi.
Caroline: Well, I needed a head start.
(Anna looks at Carolineís face and gasps)
(Anna pulls out a compact and shows Caroline her face, which is covered with a rash)
Caroline: Oh, God.
Anna: Are you feeling all right?
Caroline: I must have...caught a little bug or something.
Parker: Excuse me, Ms. Cowan, I, umó (sneezes violently into shirt and places it on desk) Iím quitting.
Caroline: W-what? Wait. Who are you?
Parker (has a rash similar to Carolineís on her face): Iím Alice White, um... And I think Iím allergic to something here, Ďcause when Iím at home, itís totally fine, but when I get here, itís... (gags) See? And everything tastes bad. And this feverís, like, burning me up.
Sophie: Do you have a fever, Ms. Cowan? A stuffy nose? A rash? The loss of taste? We call it the cadmium blues. Pretty soon, everyone around here is gonna be having those symptoms.
Parker: You know, you donít look so well yourself, lady. (sneezes as she leaves)
Anna: Ms. Cowan, you donít think tható
Caroline: Donít you dare say it. No. No, I do not.
(takes drink from a bottle and shudders
(Eliot resealing bottles while Hardison fills more)
Hardison: This is Carolineís favorite. When she drinks it, itíll taste like dust.
Eliot: Why? Whatís in it?
Hardison: Food coloring and dust.
Caroline: Take this shirt. Take it.
(Anna takes the shirt gingerly)
Caroline: Mr. Halliward is arriving from the airport right now. Go.
(Anna leaves and Caroline pulls out a makeup bag)
Caroline: All right, just a little -- little powder. Itís fine. Just a little powder. Itís okay. Itís okay.
Worker: Hey, Martin. Good to see you. Feel better, okay?
Eliot: Martin. You look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you.
Martin: The doc thinks Iíll make it. I just wanted to thank you. I heard what you said to Bryan, and as much as Iíd like to see that boy get whatís coming to him, I am awful sorry you lost your job.
Eliot: Oh, donít worry about that. Like I said, Iím just passing through.
Martin: No way to run a business, if you ask me.
Eliot: No, itís not.
Martin: You know, I-I wish I still had that old hardware store kicking around. Youíd be a good man to have handy.
(as Martin walks away, Eliot looks down, thoughtful. Elsewhere, Carolineís rash has gotten much worse)
Caroline (to customer): Hey, enjoying the barbecue? And you found yourself something? Thatís -- thatís good. (dials phone)
Voicemail: Youíve reached the mayorís office. Please leave a message after the beep.
Caroline: Mr. Mayor, this is my third voicemail, so Iím beginning to think that youíre avoiding me. You remember that rather large donation we made to your re-election campaign? Well, you know something about this piece of property that youíre not telling me, donít y...
Caroline (hangs up phone): Hello, Mr. Halliward. Welcome to apple Springs. We are so happy to have you.
Halliward: Itís good to see you again, Caroline. Wonderful turnout.
Caroline: Thank you.
Halliward: Are you okay? You look a little flushed.
Caroline: Just, you know, too much sun.
Halliward: How about a tour? Iíd love to see what youíve done with the place.
Caroline: Mm-hmm. Okay. Follow me.
Caroline: So, this is our break room, which we made a little smaller in this one, but just save a little money, and I think it really works.
Halliward: Are you sure youíre feeling all right, Caroline? You seem a little off.
Caroline: No. I-Iím fine.
Halliward: Life on the road, that canít be easy.
Parker: All right, people, place your bets.
Halliward: Donít think we havenít noticed.
Parker: 100 bucks gets you in.
Halliward: The success of this store is just the cherry on top.
Nate (tosses money in): Iím in. Five minutes.
Sophie (tosses money in): Sheíll go seven.
Hardison (tosses money in): I say three minutes.
Parker: Iím under two.
Nate: All right, under two.
(Eliot joins them)
Nate: You got three, five five, seven.
Halliward: Iím very impressed with this store, and Iíd like you to join us at corporate headquarters.
Caroline: Oh. Oh, thank you, sir. You wonít regret this. Iíll be on a plane first thing tomorrow morning. And, and Iím ready to go.
Halliward: Not so fast. Youíve made an enormous impact with this store in just a week. Iíd like to see how this new business strategy of yours works out in the long run.
Caroline: What do you mean?
Halliward: Oh, stick around town a little longer, maybe six months.
Caroline: No. Please donít make me, sir. I canít. This store is not safe. Itís poisoned.
Sophie: Ooh. That was quick.
Parker (drags the money toward her): Oh, yeah! Come to mama!
Nate: All right, so, what do you say, uh, we broadcast?
Hardison: I say letís do it.
(Hardison uses iPad to transmit camera in break room to all televisions in the store. All of the customers gather to watch)
Halliward: Poison? What poison?
Caroline: The ground underneath us is toxic. She tried to warn me, but I wouldnít listen.
Halliward: Who is ďsheĒ?
Caroline: Oh, gone because of me. I buried evidence because I knew youíd want me to.
Halliward: My God!
Halliward: What kind of company liability are we talking about here?
Caroline: Well, what does it matter now? We both know this company isó
Caroline: órotten from the inside out, and we know how this works. We tried to bribe this city just to get this building in the first place, but this time, we really got what we paid for, didnít we? And these poor slobs selling our sweatshop crap arenító
(customers begin heading toward the exit)
Caroline: óeven gonna have health insurance when they get sick. And theyíre gonna get sick.
Halliward: Caroline, get a hold of yourself.
Caroline: Donít look at me like that, sir. If you think Iím gonna die for this company, you can think again.
Anna (enters): Stop!
(Anna and Caroline follow Halliward through the store)
Halliward: Get me corporate on the phone!
(Caroline stops, then turns to see the Leverage team watching her. She eyes each of them. Nate nods to her and they walk away)
(later, a Hazmat team has the building roped off and Halliward walks away from them, Anna trailing)
Anna: Sir, we have a damage-control press conference in 20 minutes.
Halliward: Cancel it. This store is a lost cause.
(the lights go out in the store)
(Eliot stands outside of a coffee shop and falls into step with the others as they walk by)
Eliot: The local shops have reopened. Everybody that got laid off has a job.
Parker: What about the building?
Hardison: I heard an anonymous donor put in a bid for it. He said heís gonna turn it into a theater for the local high school.
Nate: The arts are vastly underfunded in this country, donít you think?
Sophie: You sly old dog.
Hardison: Oh, babe, the candy shopís open. You in?
Parker: Sounds good.
Hardison: All right.
(the group separates in front of the grocery store)
Martin (to Tabitha): Second one.
Eliot: How you doing?
Tabitha: Iím good.
Eliot (motioning toward Martin): Howís he working out?
Tabitha: Oh, you know, heís fitting right in. So, thank you for everything that you did. Itís starting to feel like home again around here.
Eliot: Would you, uh... Would you like to have dinnerÖ with me?
Eliot: Howís Saturday? I got to go out of town for a couple of days.
Tabitha: I would love that.
[Outside Oklahoma City]
(Eliot pulls into a driveway and gets out. He takes a six pack from the passengerís seat and walks to the front door where he hesitates before knocking)
(Eliotís knocks go unanswered. He puts down the six pack and turns to go, tearing up)